As Your House Burns...
There truly are no words14 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Yep, I can well imagine how one would feel watching his or her home burn. We were wiped out when I was still a baby, supposedly, and I know how I feel about precious keepsakes that I have lost through the years to other things.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Yep, I can well imagine how one would feel watching his or her home burn. We were wiped out when I was still a baby, supposedly, and I know how I feel about precious keepsakes that I have lost through the years to other things.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Yeah... really not something you can imagine until you've done it. :/ :/ Thanx for the review on this one, ma'am!! ;) ;) Yvette
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Fire can indeed be so devastating. To lose your house in a fire is more than reason enough for tears. Line 2 paints an especially vivid picture.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Fire can indeed be so devastating. To lose your house in a fire is more than reason enough for tears. Line 2 paints an especially vivid picture.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thanx for your review on this shortie, Brett... and, yes, it is devastating... Take care out there! ;) Yvette
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Yvette, this is a well written 5/7/5, true to form, on a very grim subject. It's hard to imagine how people feel to see their house burn down. It's happening in Australia on a large scale. Good use of alliteration in line two and three. The whole piece is well displayed. A good entry - good luck - regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Hello Yvette, this is a well written 5/7/5, true to form, on a very grim subject. It's hard to imagine how people feel to see their house burn down. It's happening in Australia on a large scale. Good use of alliteration in line two and three. The whole piece is well displayed. A good entry - good luck - regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thanx Dorothy. As stated in the author notes, there really are no words when it's yours.... Yvette
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written 5-7-5 fire poem. When the house we live in for decades start to burn with fire we feel devastated and know a lifetime of memories will be destroyed.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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A very well-written 5-7-5 fire poem. When the house we live in for decades start to burn with fire we feel devastated and know a lifetime of memories will be destroyed.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your review on this one -- the topic of fire will probably forever bring this occurrence to mind for me. ;-)
Comment from lyenochka
Losing a house through fire is traumatic and you covered how it affects someone's past (childhood memories) and future (devour dreams) Great job and best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Losing a house through fire is traumatic and you covered how it affects someone's past (childhood memories) and future (devour dreams) Great job and best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your review on this one -- the topic of fire will probably forever bring this occurrence to mind for me. ;-)
Comment from Lu Saluna
"fiery demons devor dreams" that they do. A horrible thing to watch one's house burn down. I can't imagine. A very good contest entry. Best of luck to you.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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"fiery demons devor dreams" that they do. A horrible thing to watch one's house burn down. I can't imagine. A very good contest entry. Best of luck to you.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your review on this one, Lu Saluna -- the topic of fire will probably forever bring this occurrence to mind for me. ;-)
Comment from Lady Hades
truly a tragic moment in someone's life. Like the use of alliteration. I'll allow the mem'ries misspell for the syllable count as it plays with the idea of how a child might mispronounce memories as well as a local dialect pronunciation though you are pushing the envelope on 5-7-5 rules! ;-). Consider switching "helpless" and tears such that one watches through tears, helpless instead of helpless tears. I think that would add impact to both words as tears are by their very nature something we are helpless to stop when we are overcome with powerful emotion, and helpless, instead of merely modifying tears, is elevated to the stature of describing how one feels and is when faced with the onslaught of one's house burning to the ground. Hope this helps! Keep writing!
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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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truly a tragic moment in someone's life. Like the use of alliteration. I'll allow the mem'ries misspell for the syllable count as it plays with the idea of how a child might mispronounce memories as well as a local dialect pronunciation though you are pushing the envelope on 5-7-5 rules! ;-). Consider switching "helpless" and tears such that one watches through tears, helpless instead of helpless tears. I think that would add impact to both words as tears are by their very nature something we are helpless to stop when we are overcome with powerful emotion, and helpless, instead of merely modifying tears, is elevated to the stature of describing how one feels and is when faced with the onslaught of one's house burning to the ground. Hope this helps! Keep writing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Comment from RodG
Your short poem--and that great picture--give us a snapshot of what it was like for the Speaker as she watched fire destroy her house and all her memories. Good use of enjambment in describing the scene.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Your short poem--and that great picture--give us a snapshot of what it was like for the Speaker as she watched fire destroy her house and all her memories. Good use of enjambment in describing the scene.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your review on this one -- the topic of fire will probably forever bring this occurrence to mind for me. ;-)
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
It is a wonderful poem and you've done a great job. The way you dealt with this subject of Fire is very different and meaningful. I wish you luck with the contest. Bravo!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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It is a wonderful poem and you've done a great job. The way you dealt with this subject of Fire is very different and meaningful. I wish you luck with the contest. Bravo!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your review on this one -- interesting that you find the loss of a home wonderful and meaningful....
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Well you made it meaningful for me and I just thought it was wonderful talent and ability on your part to write using such few words! :-)
Comment from padumachitta
Hello
A sad and poignant and often too true poetic picture. I could only think of Australia the humans and the animals loosing everything.
And still the planet burns and more people will be part of your poem.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Hello
A sad and poignant and often too true poetic picture. I could only think of Australia the humans and the animals loosing everything.
And still the planet burns and more people will be part of your poem.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your review on this one -- the topic of fire will probably forever bring this occurrence to mind for me. ;-)