Comment from Xia Thornwood

Excellent

This is a beautiful poem. Its very brevity makes it all the sweeter. Lovely words. Lovely meaning. Lovely form. I like the way that the title both contrasts and complements the poem. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2018

---

reply by the author on 05-Sep-2018

Thank you for both the excellent rating and the wonderful comments.

Comment from Liz O'Neill

Excellent

This a good commentary on relationships. It is best to ask such a question in our mental interview of friends who may become our significant one. There is such a desire for some to create a power imbalance. I worked at an abused person's advocate and also have a webpage about power imbalance in relationships. So that is my lense I look through as I read this. It's great that its meaning is left for the reader to be filled in whatever question they carry in their heart. The way this message is expressed, leaves the reader to reflect in whichever way might be healing or enriching. Well done.

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2018

---

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018

Thank you for the high rating and encouraging review. I wrote it when I was going through some problems but yes, the way it turned out I was hoping for a more universal interpretation. Thanks for seeing that.

reply by Liz O'Neill on 05-Sep-2018

More of the brook:

On other occasions, Teddy would be planted somewhere up by the pink rocks with a Daisy B-B gun and Sam and Timmy would hide behind an old rusty oil barrel on their side of the brook. Plinking sounds up on the rocks hiding Teddy could be heard and once in a while an ?ow? has heard echoing across the brook to the grinning marksmen.



Of course Sam wanted to believe that she had hit her target. She secretly enjoyed when Timmy got hit by one but it was not so funny when she felt a sudden stinging on her own arm. The sides were not always matched up in Sam?s favor.



A day Sam will always remember, Timmy said something she didn?t like, so Sam pushed him off the railing, onto the porch floor, three feet below. Almost before Timmy could pick himself up, his hitman, Teddy, walked onto the property firing his B-B gun at Sam.



She immediately took off down the street pursued by Teddy, running and firing the whole time. She got hit so many times that day that it far exceeded the sum total of times he?d ever hit both Timmy and her from across the brook.



It seems this episode of the hunter and the hunted went on until the long, fully-packed, barreled gun was emptied of ammunition.

After that, the day went on as usual. There never seemed to be any grudges held among any of them.



When the weather was good and enough of the neighbor kids could be rounded up to play kickball, everyone gathered in the lot right across from Sam?s house. Any dying enthusiasm was ignited when someone kicked the ball toward the brook. Everyone ran to save the ball before it went down over the bank into the brook.



If they failed in this attempt, they had one more chance. They would run alongside the brook, trying to outpace the ball before it went through the culvert under the bridge. Sometimes they?d get there even a little ahead of the ball, having to shoot some rocks at it, hoping to dislodge it from some fallen branches.



It was always touch and go. If the timing wasn?t just right the ball would slip away from their hands and out of their reach forever. This was always such a serious moment, as the local store was not stocked with kickballs. No one ever intended to kick the ball into the brook; they all knew that it might mean the end of the game for the day or the week or for the rest of that month.



Sam always liked to think that somewhere, down that long brook, there were some other kids who got to play with this ball, maybe after having lost their kickball to some other kids further down the brook. I asked Sam, as you may be wondering, if they themselves, ever spotted any groups? kickball coming down the brook. She said, ?as a matter of fact, we did.

Comment from Renee J. St.Germain

Excellent

This is a sweet little poem. I love the picture of the giraffes and the sunset to go along with it.

The only thing I noticed was that "I have a heart to share" = 6 syllables instead of 5.

Other than that, it's good.

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2018

---

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018

Thank you for noticing. I'll correct that.