Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I nearly screamed when I read you wouldn't be posting for a while, then went to have a look. Yes!! There is more to read. Joshua has made a great entrance! LOL, how I'd love to do something like that. Another wonderful read, my friend. :)) Sandra x x

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2018

Thank you, you are so encouraging. =}

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Rox,

I am following the story and think I'm understanding things well enough. I am not a big fan of fantasy, but your story is easy to follow and grasp.

A few notes, if I may?
1.) "Joshua(," s)he said, placing a hand on his head.

2.) "Five days(," s)he answered.

3.) was coming back and he recalled being drug by the huge bear.
--> check to be sure, but I think it would be 'dragged'?


Thanks -- good luck!

A little confusing when Nyla goes from teaching the skills of swordplay to having to learn them?

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2018

Thank you for the helps, I fixed them. I thought had fixed some before. ={ I took our the part about Nyla training. I'll go back to it at a later time. She too will need to learn to fight with more skill. Thanks so much for the review. I know everyone doesn't like this genre, I like some, not all. So thanks for hanging in there with it. Rox

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Roxanna this is the first I've read of this story, and you've caught my attention. I will be honest that I'm not into fantasy writing, but I do think this story has a lot of scope. And I'm looking forward to reading on.
he recalled being drug by the huge bear = he recalled being dragged by the huge bear
All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2018

Thanks so much Ulla. Fantasy isn't everyone's cup of tea. =} I don't like all of it either, I don't like stuff with vampires or werewolves or witchcraft. Dragons I don't mind so much, but they have to be cute. =} I thought I fix that dragged thing. I must forget to hit save or something.. like I'm getting senile. ={ Thanks so much Rox

reply by Ulla on 29-Jul-2018

Oh, I know the feeling!

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

Hi Roxanna,
I have quite enjoyed your book thus far.
It seems you are drawing closer to an ending point in the natural flow of the story.
Perhaps the upcoming battle with th hordes could achieve a resolution and fitting ending.
I don't have a burning passion for fantasy as I have trouble visualising what I have not seen or experienced but you seem to do this genre well.
Good luck---you can do it.
Blessings
Shirley

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2018

Thanks so much Shirley. This is way out of my comfort zone which is 'silly and funny'. I don't know what possessed me to try this. I will very much try to finish it. I have started reading so many books on here that people don't finish. It drives me nut. =} Thanks so much again. Rox

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

She sank to the floor [with relieved when] his fever disappeared
That sentence needs some work. Yes your story has stalled a bit, but I'm sure you can revive it if you take a minute or two. I think that is the hardest part when it comes to prose. I am talking about how to end it. I have followed the story and I am enjoying it. Read it and maybe you will get revived. Too many give up on their work and never finish it. I went back and finished my story because of that. Good Luck. Nancy

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2018

I fixed my boo boos, I never see them no matter how many time I read it, run it thru spell check and my grammar program,. It's so sad. I am going to try to finish by the end of summer early fall. I to hate it when I'm into a book and the writer never finished it. Drives me nut. So I don't want to do that. I don't like to leave things undone. Thank you for the helps and encouragement, Nancy. Rox

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written chapter. Joshua is healing after treatment. He just need to keep still and let the wounds heal properly. I did not read previous chapters, so I am a bit behind with the story line.

Typo
in one of his uncle's dwelling[s]?

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2018

Thank you for the help, I fixed the boo boo. I am glad you like it. It is very outside my comfort zone, I don't what I was thinking. But I have a goal to finish it by summers end. Thanks so much again.

Comment from ssharrer

Excellent

Enjoyed this very much. I'll have to double back for the full story one day when I have time.
The pacing in particular is excellent, a good balance of detail and pacing. Each sentence is compact and gives meaningful information, but not too much. Great analogies when used also, such as a day old kitten. Your grammar is excellent as well.

I would like to know the time frame between the two sections, from when Joshua is sick to when he shows up on the dragon. Not sure how quickly this occurred.

Well done.

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2018

Thank you so much. You are most encouraging. This is so out of my comfort zone, which is 'Silly & Funny.' It was about 12 days from his being attacked by the bear to being well enough to fly the dragon.

There is a beginning to a par that says the warriors in Wahaland had been training 10 days. The trainers spent a day traveling, and then a day convincing the men of Wahaland to join the army. So about 12 days. I am hoping that is a reasonable amount of time as he is young and healthy.

I do hope to get the book finished by summers end. I am struggling a bit now, but hope to go back, re-read it and start the next chapter. Thanks so much for you very encouraging review. Rox

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I was surprised to find out you were struggling with this series Rox, but you're right, one could lose interest, and that makes it hard. If it helps, it's a terrific story, it's at a good point with Joshua recovering, and giving it some impetus. But well done, love the descriptive imagery of Joshua's recovery. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : She slipped to the floor with (relieved) relief? 2: The stitching holds well(s).

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2018

Thank you so much Roy. Your words are most encouraging. I do hope to finish it and have set a goal for summers end to motivate myself. I hate when I am reading a book on here and the writer never finishes it. It happens all the time, drives me crazy. So I don't want to leave it undone, but don't want to finish just to end it. I want it to be good. I'll re-read a bit of it to get me inspired again. That often helps. Thanks so much again, for the encouraging review. Rox

reply by royowen on 29-Jul-2018

There's a few that I got interested in and they didn't finish them, I guess that's why I like writing poetry, heh heh.

reply by the author on 29-Jul-2018

Yes, Poetry is more fun for sure. =} Rox

reply by royowen on 29-Jul-2018

I think so Rox