Real Threat
Twelve Years of Fear6 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Oh, my.
It appears as if Jimmy Callahan was one step ahead of them all after all.
Shame, really.
But, hey, they claim there is always a silver lining behind every dark cloud.
At least Mr. Doyle now has a lot more reason for revenge, and Morgan and her momma are okay.
For now...
Good writing; a shocker of an ending.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Oh, my.
It appears as if Jimmy Callahan was one step ahead of them all after all.
Shame, really.
But, hey, they claim there is always a silver lining behind every dark cloud.
At least Mr. Doyle now has a lot more reason for revenge, and Morgan and her momma are okay.
For now...
Good writing; a shocker of an ending.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Thanks, Dean.
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My pleasure.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I know that that's the required line but it seems a foolhardy thing to do. you'd think it would be one of the first things she did. Make herself and her daughter as safe as possible. maybe a line stating she meant to, or got distracted perhaps solves it.
One question sprung to mind. If they'd been planning to leave in the event of Jimmy's release, why wouldn't they have done so earlier?
notified them that Grandpa arrived - that Grandpa had arrived.
Good circular feel to the piece though. There is some good tension and the dialogue flows well.
All the best
GMG
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Hi there,
I know that that's the required line but it seems a foolhardy thing to do. you'd think it would be one of the first things she did. Make herself and her daughter as safe as possible. maybe a line stating she meant to, or got distracted perhaps solves it.
One question sprung to mind. If they'd been planning to leave in the event of Jimmy's release, why wouldn't they have done so earlier?
notified them that Grandpa arrived - that Grandpa had arrived.
Good circular feel to the piece though. There is some good tension and the dialogue flows well.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
Comment from Ricky1024
Real that was real threat was richly written themes Wells imagery it read well flowed well with no grammar issues so to speak I checked about ejected contents were excellent and firmly in place descriptive measures lined up perfectly thanks for this doctor Ricky 1024
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Real that was real threat was richly written themes Wells imagery it read well flowed well with no grammar issues so to speak I checked about ejected contents were excellent and firmly in place descriptive measures lined up perfectly thanks for this doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This is a nice story, well done, twelve years of fear, death news was kept secret, Mr. Doyle was released from prison, but he could not find his wife as Jimmy Callahan killed her for she did not lock her door. DR ALCREATOR
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This is a nice story, well done, twelve years of fear, death news was kept secret, Mr. Doyle was released from prison, but he could not find his wife as Jimmy Callahan killed her for she did not lock her door. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A terrible price to pay for a small oversight. Always lock the door would be the lesson to be learned. She almost escaped except for that one thing. Very well-written.
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A terrible price to pay for a small oversight. Always lock the door would be the lesson to be learned. She almost escaped except for that one thing. Very well-written.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 'She Didn't Lock Her Door' writing prompt.
Well written and a good twist at the end.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
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I think this is a good entry for the 'She Didn't Lock Her Door' writing prompt.
Well written and a good twist at the end.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018