Grammy's Memoirs 2018
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "A Defining Moment"Bits and pieces of my life for my grandchildren
44 total reviews
Comment from XGoneX
Hi,
I can imagine how hard this must have been to write. My father was in jail, too. He was supposed to be six years in jail. But he was released after three years. This happened when I was ten. I didn't see him for years. the court forbade him to approach. He called on my birthday when I was eighteen. He wanted to appologise.
Your stories continue to inspire me. Again, very well written.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
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Hi,
I can imagine how hard this must have been to write. My father was in jail, too. He was supposed to be six years in jail. But he was released after three years. This happened when I was ten. I didn't see him for years. the court forbade him to approach. He called on my birthday when I was eighteen. He wanted to appologise.
Your stories continue to inspire me. Again, very well written.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
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thank you for stopping by to read and review. I am very touched that you say my writing inspires you - one of the extra bonuses of sharing a story this deep. I'm sorry to hear about your story and to know that you, too, grew up without your father in the picture. But, we survived to write!
~patty~
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Child abuse is such a damaging act and can ruin lives. The trauma resonates deep inside children and can make them nervous and damaged adults. Your story is very sad and I hope that you can come to terms with the fact that none of it is your fault and the blame lies squarely on the shoulders of your father, I wish you well Patty, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
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Child abuse is such a damaging act and can ruin lives. The trauma resonates deep inside children and can make them nervous and damaged adults. Your story is very sad and I hope that you can come to terms with the fact that none of it is your fault and the blame lies squarely on the shoulders of your father, I wish you well Patty, love Dolly x
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
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thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful review. Putting the story down on paper this way, and processing the deed through a writer's eye, allowed me to see that all you say is true. Sharing this story in such a public forum was very healing for me. My FanStory family has not let me down in their support of this writing,
~patty~
Comment from Rhonni
You are brave to share this and I applaud your courage. Being vulnerable in our writing often allows us the release the "demons" that lurk inside, the scars and damage these things we've endured/suffered can then begin to heal and we realize that we are not alone...great write and hold your head high!
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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You are brave to share this and I applaud your courage. Being vulnerable in our writing often allows us the release the "demons" that lurk inside, the scars and damage these things we've endured/suffered can then begin to heal and we realize that we are not alone...great write and hold your head high!
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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thank you so much for your encouraging review on this chapter. I was very worried about sharing it, but my FanStory family hasn't let me down. I feel like I can write the rest, and find the healing I need,
~patty~
Comment from gene roush
This is an important topic--far more common than acknowledged.
There's an analytical, coldness to this piece that I found unsettling with my first reading. Do, I read it again. It's the voice of unresolved emotion.
Thank you for your honest portrayal.
Gene
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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This is an important topic--far more common than acknowledged.
There's an analytical, coldness to this piece that I found unsettling with my first reading. Do, I read it again. It's the voice of unresolved emotion.
Thank you for your honest portrayal.
Gene
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Hi Gene; thank you for your thoughtful review of this piece. Your words of encouragement are greatly appreciated. I hope you will follow the rest of the story,
~patty~
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Patty. This is a well written biological non-fiction of a segment of your childhood. I'm so sorry for your experiences told here. I did find one thing to correct--and easy fix. In paragraph 2 after your introduction (in red):
"no one would tell her either. My grandmother didn't have any answers either (remove this "either" as you don't need it and it is in too close proximity toe one in the previous sentence), or if she did, she kept them to herself.
Marilyn
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Hi Patty. This is a well written biological non-fiction of a segment of your childhood. I'm so sorry for your experiences told here. I did find one thing to correct--and easy fix. In paragraph 2 after your introduction (in red):
"no one would tell her either. My grandmother didn't have any answers either (remove this "either" as you don't need it and it is in too close proximity toe one in the previous sentence), or if she did, she kept them to herself.
Marilyn
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Hi Marilyn; thank you for your thoughtful and concise review. The suggestion you made about the sentence about my grandmother has been done. Your way DID read much better. I hope you will follow the rest of the story,
~patty~
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Yes, I will, Patty. The chapter length was perfect. I hope you stick to that length. Some of them that I read are much too long and discourage reviews. This is very good. Marilyn
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello Patty,
I applaud you for having the courage to write this story. It is very brave of you and I pray the process will be a healing one.
God bless you as you continue on this writing journey. I can't imagine what it must have been like to have the memories return.
Sonali
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Hello Patty,
I applaud you for having the courage to write this story. It is very brave of you and I pray the process will be a healing one.
God bless you as you continue on this writing journey. I can't imagine what it must have been like to have the memories return.
Sonali
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Hi Sonali; this was a good writing experience. I've been in therapy off and on for many years, but this posting was the first time I really put the story in a public forum. My FanStory family hasn't let me down and the encouragement has helped me a great deal,
~patty~
Comment from Dean Kuch
A recurring nightmare takes me back to that day, and therapists have identified this moment in time as the beginning of my PTSD.... Ah, so you know about the debilitating effects that PTSD can have on your life as well I see, Patty.
It's no fun, is it? ...
Left to my own devices, I decided he must have committed murder. I was only eight, and prone to exaggeration....That's quite an assumption for an eight-year-old to make and conclusion to jump to, Patty. Exaggeration?
I would say so! ...
nstead of serving the years in prison he deserved, he only spent nine months in jail. The charges were dropped to 'contributing to the delinquency of a minor' because my sister couldn't and wouldn't testify in open court.... Oh that's a shame, Patty, and on many different levels.
First, the fact that such an atrocity had been perpetrated against your older sister, and by her own dad, in the first place.
Second, that she refused to testify against him to ensure he'd get what he deserved.
Criminals may be the dregs of society. But they look down on child molesters as the scum of the scum. Those imprisoned for crimes against children are themselves raped, beaten, and even murdered by fellow inmates.
So, as it turned out, my father had killed. It was a murder of innocence.... Your father "had killed" whom, Patty?
You?
Your family, or your innocence?
Might I suggest the following: As it turned out, there had been a murder committed involving my father.
He'd murdered my innocence.
Great story. Hopefully it helps you to exorcise a few demons by writing it.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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A recurring nightmare takes me back to that day, and therapists have identified this moment in time as the beginning of my PTSD.... Ah, so you know about the debilitating effects that PTSD can have on your life as well I see, Patty.
It's no fun, is it? ...
Left to my own devices, I decided he must have committed murder. I was only eight, and prone to exaggeration....That's quite an assumption for an eight-year-old to make and conclusion to jump to, Patty. Exaggeration?
I would say so! ...
nstead of serving the years in prison he deserved, he only spent nine months in jail. The charges were dropped to 'contributing to the delinquency of a minor' because my sister couldn't and wouldn't testify in open court.... Oh that's a shame, Patty, and on many different levels.
First, the fact that such an atrocity had been perpetrated against your older sister, and by her own dad, in the first place.
Second, that she refused to testify against him to ensure he'd get what he deserved.
Criminals may be the dregs of society. But they look down on child molesters as the scum of the scum. Those imprisoned for crimes against children are themselves raped, beaten, and even murdered by fellow inmates.
So, as it turned out, my father had killed. It was a murder of innocence.... Your father "had killed" whom, Patty?
You?
Your family, or your innocence?
Might I suggest the following: As it turned out, there had been a murder committed involving my father.
He'd murdered my innocence.
Great story. Hopefully it helps you to exorcise a few demons by writing it.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Hi Dean; I'm glad you came by to read and review this one. Yes, I deal with PTSD and it definitely isn't fun. Some days are worse than others, but I'm going through a 'good season' right now. Your comments and critique are well received. I made the suggested change to the ending. Yours read better.
Hope you're having a good day,
~patty~
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Patty: I'm sorry this happened to you. It's not your fault or your sisters.
This darkness is being exposed. Hope that you are finding the joy in your
day. I tell my daughters to be careful around guys, many are too fast...
When this comes from a father, shame and fear happen. Yes, it's not your
fault and don't relive the pain. Move forward with your family and friends.
It's good to write or journal thoughts. I hope this helps others.
Look at all the woman coming forward in cases against Trump and Bill Cosby. They have no rights to invade the privacy of woman. Speak up and stand up knowing you are a child of Jesus. God bless. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Patty: I'm sorry this happened to you. It's not your fault or your sisters.
This darkness is being exposed. Hope that you are finding the joy in your
day. I tell my daughters to be careful around guys, many are too fast...
When this comes from a father, shame and fear happen. Yes, it's not your
fault and don't relive the pain. Move forward with your family and friends.
It's good to write or journal thoughts. I hope this helps others.
Look at all the woman coming forward in cases against Trump and Bill Cosby. They have no rights to invade the privacy of woman. Speak up and stand up knowing you are a child of Jesus. God bless. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much for your review. I have found a great deal of support from my FanStory family, and it will help me to write the rest of the stories. My father's actions were just the beginning.
~patty~
Comment from Autumn Splendour
Dear Patty, it's very brave of you to reveal this dark period in your life. Thank you for sharing. By sharing, you are also helping yourself because of the cathartic effect it has on the writer.
You write well. "It was a murder of innocence." These are powerful words because it resonates with the horrific effect the abuser did to his victims which are your sister and indirectly you. I know that even the wounds heal, the scars will remain. Yes, write about it, but don't dwell on it. It's over. Keep looking forward and onward. This is also what I tell myself because I have been through traumatic moments in my life too.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Dear Patty, it's very brave of you to reveal this dark period in your life. Thank you for sharing. By sharing, you are also helping yourself because of the cathartic effect it has on the writer.
You write well. "It was a murder of innocence." These are powerful words because it resonates with the horrific effect the abuser did to his victims which are your sister and indirectly you. I know that even the wounds heal, the scars will remain. Yes, write about it, but don't dwell on it. It's over. Keep looking forward and onward. This is also what I tell myself because I have been through traumatic moments in my life too.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. This was an important part of my story. I wanted it to be the first chapter because of the impact it had on my life. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement,
~patty~
Comment from emptypage
Oh...OMG.
Isn't it funny how everything falls into place with the truth. If they had told you...warned you...maybe you'd have been spared???
I'm so, so sorry.
I'm also incredibly impressed that you chose to share this now. It must be hard, but if my own writing has taught me anything, it's that telling can be cathartic. Freeing.
Maybe your life will go an entirely different direction. You are amazing.
Beautifully written.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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Oh...OMG.
Isn't it funny how everything falls into place with the truth. If they had told you...warned you...maybe you'd have been spared???
I'm so, so sorry.
I'm also incredibly impressed that you chose to share this now. It must be hard, but if my own writing has taught me anything, it's that telling can be cathartic. Freeing.
Maybe your life will go an entirely different direction. You are amazing.
Beautifully written.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2017
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thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. This was an important part of my story. I wanted it to be the first chapter because of the impact it had on my life. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement,
~patty~