Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "haiku suite (gills-gasping fish)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
53 total reviews
Comment from Poetic Friend
This is incredible, Sis Cat. I love both of these gems. The haikus work well collectively and separately. Your words of artistry painted vivid imagery. I can see the fish being swiped from the sea (even without the artwork). I love the alliteration in your haikus Great usage of word economy (not one syllable was wasted).
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2017
This is incredible, Sis Cat. I love both of these gems. The haikus work well collectively and separately. Your words of artistry painted vivid imagery. I can see the fish being swiped from the sea (even without the artwork). I love the alliteration in your haikus Great usage of word economy (not one syllable was wasted).
Comment Written 01-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2017
-
I am grateful, Poetic Friend. I received a master's degree in art history and never did anything with my art background, but with haiku I can paint and sculpt with words to create vivid imagery that readers can see. Thank you for your review.
Comment from ronnie k
With the tragedy one may see this poem is the cycle of life we are no different in our survival the world was provided for the inhabitant to live, its a necessity that something much die for other things too live.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
With the tragedy one may see this poem is the cycle of life we are no different in our survival the world was provided for the inhabitant to live, its a necessity that something much die for other things too live.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
-
Yes, Ronnie, this is a cycle of life poem. We are no different. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Jacob Collins
I thought you really brought the image to life in this piece, I loved your choice of words. An eagle is an amazing creature. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
I thought you really brought the image to life in this piece, I loved your choice of words. An eagle is an amazing creature. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
-
Yes, Jacob, an eagle is an amazing creature. I did not know that they lived in the San Francisco area. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Rasmine
Very good haiku! Love the picture, Sis Cat, it goes along with your poem nicely.
Do you ever do readings for pre-schoolers?
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
Very good haiku! Love the picture, Sis Cat, it goes along with your poem nicely.
Do you ever do readings for pre-schoolers?
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
-
Rasmine, the closest I'm come to doing readings for preschoolers was when I performed African folktales live in front of children, parents, and teachers at a private school in Berkeley. We all had a great time and I was paid $200. I have observed in the past at storytelling and poetry events where the audience was primarily adults that children respond to my performances in a way adults often miss. I lost the Tall Tale Challenge with this story in Oregon two years ago, but a bunch of Boy Scouts who served as ushers told me they identified with my story because they can see themselves in it. Thank you for your review.
-
That was great!! :) Poor Chirpy :(
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, that must have been amazing to watch! I like your descriptive words in the form of a haiku. I like both one and two, but I like one a little bit better than two. "gills-gasping fish swishes against eagle's grip". I love the sound of this when read aloud. The third line, "air apparent" is very clever. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
Wow, that must have been amazing to watch! I like your descriptive words in the form of a haiku. I like both one and two, but I like one a little bit better than two. "gills-gasping fish swishes against eagle's grip". I love the sound of this when read aloud. The third line, "air apparent" is very clever. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Jesse, for your review. I am glad you appreciate my descriptive form of haiku and its sound when read aloud. That eagle was an amazing sight to see. Reviewers who live in Alaska told me they see it all of the time. thank you for your review.
-
I'm glad eagles are a common sight in Alaska. You're sincerely welcome for the review.
Comment from Susanjohn
Wonderful!!!! leaving me with a perfect image in my mind...great picture too. I had a hawk nesting in a tree...had to watch my 7lb dog everyday!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
Wonderful!!!! leaving me with a perfect image in my mind...great picture too. I had a hawk nesting in a tree...had to watch my 7lb dog everyday!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
-
Oh, yes, Susan, watch you 7lb dog everyday. I have a 3lb Chihuahua whom I never let out of my sight because there are eagles, hawks, and owls in my neighborhood abutting a eucalyptus grove. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Pantygynt
The heir-apparant line is a spectacular pun of a satori line. this is excellent. While its companion features a commonly found advertising slogan in the fish restaurants of the inland regions. Good pair of haikus here.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
The heir-apparant line is a spectacular pun of a satori line. this is excellent. While its companion features a commonly found advertising slogan in the fish restaurants of the inland regions. Good pair of haikus here.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Pantygynt, for your generous review of my "good pair of haikus." I appreciate it.
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi SisCat:
Your haiku suite has it all: assonance, consonance, and alliteration. Three of my favorite poetic devices; Bravo! It was a hard choice between the two, but I think the first segment is my favorite.
Great job!
Kim
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
Hi SisCat:
Your haiku suite has it all: assonance, consonance, and alliteration. Three of my favorite poetic devices; Bravo! It was a hard choice between the two, but I think the first segment is my favorite.
Great job!
Kim
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Kim, for your review. I am glad I used poetic devices which thrilled you. Thanks for the compliments.
Comment from Bucketlist
Hi, this the second time I'm am all out of 6 stars. I know it's for outstanding so there you go (now I owe you 2 (LOL)). This picture is representative of many sections in life . Power is the eagle, the fish represents the rest of us. Thanks
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
Hi, this the second time I'm am all out of 6 stars. I know it's for outstanding so there you go (now I owe you 2 (LOL)). This picture is representative of many sections in life . Power is the eagle, the fish represents the rest of us. Thanks
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
-
Yes, Bucketlist, the fish represents the rest of us. Thank you for your review of haiku that is representative of many sections of life.
-
You are welcome
Comment from Dawn Munro
Sis Cat, I 'say' this with all honesty - you write some of the very best haiku on this site, in my opinion. I read a lot of it, and seldom does the mental image smack me quite as quickly or as powerfully - your satori is always a sweet surprise. I hope you are appreciated, and not just for the generous pay-out either...(and I pray you are submitting elsewhere)!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
Sis Cat, I 'say' this with all honesty - you write some of the very best haiku on this site, in my opinion. I read a lot of it, and seldom does the mental image smack me quite as quickly or as powerfully - your satori is always a sweet surprise. I hope you are appreciated, and not just for the generous pay-out either...(and I pray you are submitting elsewhere)!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Dawn for your review and compliments. I used to be an artist and took photography, so that background impacts how I see and capture mental images that smack people quickly and powerfully. Yes, I really should submit these elsewhere.
-
Oh! We have that in common. :) Photography is my favorite medium as well, although I am probably much more of an amateur.