Weak
Just a poem37 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
Lovely photo of a neckless. you used it to honour your deceased son. I did not realise I think you were in hospital. Glad to hear that things are solved. Thanks for sharing.
Lovely photo of a neckless. you used it to honour your deceased son. I did not realise I think you were in hospital. Glad to hear that things are solved. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
That's reall a long time to spend in the hospital. Glad you are home and back writing. When I go to the hospital, my laptop is the most important thing I take--my connection to the outside world. Nicely penned free verse, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
That's reall a long time to spend in the hospital. Glad you are home and back writing. When I go to the hospital, my laptop is the most important thing I take--my connection to the outside world. Nicely penned free verse, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Debbie, for the read and review of my poem. I appreciate it very much. Yes, I was bored stiff by the time I was released, but I had my phone with my music playlist and my earphones, so I spent much of the time listening to music. It didn't make the time go by much faster, though.
I'm happy that you enjoyed my poem.
Always,
jeni
Comment from wondertwin
This is a very nicely written free verse poem. The last four stanzas were particularly intriguing. Wonderful to read, Blessings, AmyJo
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
This is a very nicely written free verse poem. The last four stanzas were particularly intriguing. Wonderful to read, Blessings, AmyJo
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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Dear AmyJo,
Thanks for taking the time to read my poem and leave me this kind review. I'm happy that you told me about the last four stanzas. It helps my future work.
Always,
jeni
Comment from closetpoetjester
There is always someone in the world who is our Kryptonite...it's just the way it is. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much time has passed and how much hurt has been done...we always want what can never be or work out.
Human nature me thinks LOL I do like the saying Love the one you're with...because by goodness if you can't get the one you want, the one you are with is the next best thing. Usually fate is a good decider on whether things should work out between some people...I like to justify it that way anyhow...saves becoming morbid haha
I loved your free verse and was wretchedly yours the entire duration of the read. Now THAT'S comittment LOL
Well done Luna...hope 2017 is off to a great start for you.
Cheers P
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
There is always someone in the world who is our Kryptonite...it's just the way it is. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much time has passed and how much hurt has been done...we always want what can never be or work out.
Human nature me thinks LOL I do like the saying Love the one you're with...because by goodness if you can't get the one you want, the one you are with is the next best thing. Usually fate is a good decider on whether things should work out between some people...I like to justify it that way anyhow...saves becoming morbid haha
I loved your free verse and was wretchedly yours the entire duration of the read. Now THAT'S comittment LOL
Well done Luna...hope 2017 is off to a great start for you.
Cheers P
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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Dear P,
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my poem and leave me this interesting review. I enjoyed reading it. Stephen Stills is one of my very favorite musicians and I adore that song,..if you can't get the one you love, love the one you're with.
You hit it dead on.
I'm happy you enjoyed my free verse and that you were wrecthedly mine during the whole read. That's a high compliment, as Nick Cage says on Saturday Night Live!
Always,
Jeni
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You're VERY good.
I'm not a writer of free verse, so admire anyone that can
Great stuff, Jeni
Thoughtfully...
Phillippa
Comment from GWinterwin
Good poem with a good picture to tell of this encounter. Good word flow as one seems to have to surrender to the other. Seems the surrender is voluntarily or semi-voluntarily.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
Good poem with a good picture to tell of this encounter. Good word flow as one seems to have to surrender to the other. Seems the surrender is voluntarily or semi-voluntarily.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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You've got the point of the poem. In this case I was talking about voluntary surrender. I appreciate your kind review.
Always,
Luna
Comment from Lu Saluna
I am sorry to hear you were unwell but happy to hear you are better now. All the best to you in 2017.
You have written an amazing free verse. One of dominance and submission. You have named it "Weak" but from what I understand, it takes a great deal of strength to be in the submissive role.
It's only you (I feel your sting)
It's only you (my place is true)
It's only you (submission's whip)
It's only you (command me)
These last four lines, definitely a great deal of strength and trust!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
I am sorry to hear you were unwell but happy to hear you are better now. All the best to you in 2017.
You have written an amazing free verse. One of dominance and submission. You have named it "Weak" but from what I understand, it takes a great deal of strength to be in the submissive role.
It's only you (I feel your sting)
It's only you (my place is true)
It's only you (submission's whip)
It's only you (command me)
These last four lines, definitely a great deal of strength and trust!
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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Dear Lu,
I believe that you are the first reader to actually give a name to the subject of this poem. You are right, submission can be very empowering and the submissive must indeed be a strong woman'/man. People have asked me if this is a biographical work but I prefer to leave that to the imagination of the reader.
I'm thrilled by your review. Thanks so much.
Oh, and thanks for the well wishes and I wish you a great 2017 also!
Always,
Jeni
Comment from laffad
Hot damn. This is a crazy emotional piece. Is this biographical? I love the way you wrote it and I hope you will continue to write like this. Also, why were you in the hospital if you don't mind me asking?
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
Hot damn. This is a crazy emotional piece. Is this biographical? I love the way you wrote it and I hope you will continue to write like this. Also, why were you in the hospital if you don't mind me asking?
Comment Written 04-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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Hi! I was in the hospital for a number of things, pneumonia, a blood clot in my leg, and treatment for fainting spells and the falls that accompany them. I feel great now and they really attacked my issues aggressively. It was a good treatment team.
Secondly, yes, this is indeed an emotional piece. I have more poems in this style that I can post...as for the biographical question, I'm going to leave that to your imagination.
Thanks so much for reading and leaving me this review.
Always,
Luna
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Good Lord. Hope you are feeling much better. Would you take a look at my works if you've got the energy?
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of course I will. I'll fan you, and then I can see when you post material. I mostly review the work on my fan list, it's just easier for me.
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Rubylou
Very intriguing free verse with vivid images painted by your words. I found the line,
"To second place I was resigned," most sad and heartbreaking. To be made to feel and be in a place to be willing to kneel at his feet again shows how deep love can burrow into a person's heart.
Rubylou
P.S. Glad to hear you are well.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017
Very intriguing free verse with vivid images painted by your words. I found the line,
"To second place I was resigned," most sad and heartbreaking. To be made to feel and be in a place to be willing to kneel at his feet again shows how deep love can burrow into a person's heart.
Rubylou
P.S. Glad to hear you are well.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017
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Hi! Rubylou, Thanks for the good wishes.
I'm happy that you enjoyed this poem and that you chose to share the line the stood out the most to you. You are absolutely right in that love can burrow deep into the heart!
Always,
jeni
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Jeni. I wondered why you abruptly fell off of the radar for a week or so. How are you feeling? I hope it wasn't too serious. This poem is quite originalin the way it's constructed. Especially the last stanza. I liked these lines in particular:
"Bewitching and coquettish voice
transformed your melancholy eye,
explaining that we would be three,"
Bless you. I hope you are feeling better. Bob
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017
Hi, Jeni. I wondered why you abruptly fell off of the radar for a week or so. How are you feeling? I hope it wasn't too serious. This poem is quite originalin the way it's constructed. Especially the last stanza. I liked these lines in particular:
"Bewitching and coquettish voice
transformed your melancholy eye,
explaining that we would be three,"
Bless you. I hope you are feeling better. Bob
Comment Written 04-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017
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Dear Bob,
I'm feeling much better. I had pneumonia in both lungs, and two other health issues cropped up while I was hospitalized. I'm extremely fortunate, though, because they were both life-threatening conditions that no one ever figured out I had and the exceptional team that treated me in the hospital figured me out and I'm now being treated with medication. I'm looking forward to a great 2017 and I hope you are also.
Thanks for reading my poem, and you kind review. I always enjoy the way you show me what you liked the best about the piece.
Great to hear from you, Bob.
Bless you right back!
love,
jeni
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So glad you are okay. X :) Bob
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*smile*
Comment from Poetic Friend
Luna, this is my favorite of yours. It is amazing that this gem just entered your mind. Sometimes, the poems that "just enter your mind" are the best poems.
I can feel the weakness, longing, and pain in this poem. I love the usage of the parenthesis. It works well in this poem.
I am glad you are back and you're feeling better.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017
Luna, this is my favorite of yours. It is amazing that this gem just entered your mind. Sometimes, the poems that "just enter your mind" are the best poems.
I can feel the weakness, longing, and pain in this poem. I love the usage of the parenthesis. It works well in this poem.
I am glad you are back and you're feeling better.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017
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My friend, I am totally over the moon by this exceptional six-star review. I'm so very happy that you thought it was worth that infamous "sixth star." I'm truly honored.
I'm happy that you could pick up on what is transpiring in this poem, and that you thought the parens to be effective.
Once again, I'm honored by your review and rating.
Please enjoy your day!
Love,
Luna