Selections For Book Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 60 "A Day and Night Dream"possible selections for inclusion in book project
19 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
I love the simple statement of fact in the opening stanza. My dream never escapes me, it almost has elements of a prison clinging ... desperately ... preying with reality's weapons. Sod reality, it is so tedious, is it not?
But time, truth and casting off ignorance will show that she is like the seas and the stars and all things in between.
But the mountain is high and heaven may not be exactly as in dreams, but the good news is the dream continues even during waking hours.
This is your magnum opus, Mav. A literary masterpiece that deserves great honours in the free verse contest. As you know I am a lover of free verse and you are an incomparable artist with the form.
Exceptional!
Ange
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2016
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I love the simple statement of fact in the opening stanza. My dream never escapes me, it almost has elements of a prison clinging ... desperately ... preying with reality's weapons. Sod reality, it is so tedious, is it not?
But time, truth and casting off ignorance will show that she is like the seas and the stars and all things in between.
But the mountain is high and heaven may not be exactly as in dreams, but the good news is the dream continues even during waking hours.
This is your magnum opus, Mav. A literary masterpiece that deserves great honours in the free verse contest. As you know I am a lover of free verse and you are an incomparable artist with the form.
Exceptional!
Ange
Comment Written 21-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2016
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An interesting observation, Ange. I have thought of it that way myself, a prison of sorts. True, reality can be tedious, but then, so can a dream if it isn't real. I've never been a big fan of reality though or convention or the norm or anything that is supposed to be. :))
I love your analysis. You are reading it correctly and that is so nice to hear. That is not the norm for me usually.
I won't be so foolish as to argue with your wonderful compliments. I'll just humbly thank you most sincerely for them. I'm honored. Mav
Comment from l.raven
OMG Michael, this is so well written ....it just smooths along the paper...I awaken and the dream continues...and so does this beautiful poem...so beautifully written...and the perfect picture...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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OMG Michael, this is so well written ....it just smooths along the paper...I awaken and the dream continues...and so does this beautiful poem...so beautifully written...and the perfect picture...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 19-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Thanks so much Sweet Queen of Sweettropolis. :))
I'm so pleased you enjoyed this. Straight from the heart to the page. Love, mikey xxoo
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you are so very welcome...xxoo Linda
Comment from Pearl Edwards
WOW this is quite a write mikey. Your words float across our screen like the snowflakes and the dream continues, and she is there, amongst the stars, in your dreams. Fabulous free verse, good luck in the contest, great read.
cheers,
valda.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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WOW this is quite a write mikey. Your words float across our screen like the snowflakes and the dream continues, and she is there, amongst the stars, in your dreams. Fabulous free verse, good luck in the contest, great read.
cheers,
valda.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Wow, what a wonderful encouraging review, Valda. She's among the stars and so am I. I'm so delighted you enjoyed this. Thanks so very much. mikey
Comment from Lovinia
Hello Mikey
I've been waiting for a time to review this properly ... seems there is non at the moment. I read rama devi's review and she has it in hand. This poem deserves that kind of a review, I largely agree with what she has to say. I too think you may well be a winner in the contest, and at the very least I hope to see you nominated for POM.
"I'm not practical
or even sensible
I understand frantic pursuit
I relish ultimate pleasure
loud joy" - seems your dream love has unconditional love, she loves your quirkiness and your "loud joy" - the value she has for you is real, and for who you really are ... not the masks we must wear for others.
"there are those who smile
remembering" - those who share a respect and liking and loving for you ... those who have understood you and been an integral part of your life's experience, and both you, and they, will smile at your interaction with each other. Just my interpretation of course, I may be completely off-base. lol
"I close my eyes
and
high upon the mountain
it is cold
I pause to consider
Heaven's lack of warmth
is it vacant ..."
"the distraction rides a snowflake
carefully chosen from several
different from the others
special"
"a drop of melted mountain snow
plunges from the cliff
to my waiting tongue"
There are so many exceptional phrases and your placement and spacing of these words and phrases is perfect ... no need for punctuation.
"the world buckles in laughter ..." - if only it weren't a dream!
"A Day and Night Dream
I know your name"
A wonderful conclusion. So simple and elegant. This is my favourite kind of Mikey poetry. You've excelled yourself here. Rama devi has included the poetical techniques of this outstanding free verse. I'm out of time. Excellent and I'll even congratulate you on your win already. Wishing you luck in the contest. Hugs - Lovi xoxox
it never escapes me
my dream
day and night
clinging ... even desperately
when force fights hope into a corner
preying with reality's many weapons
mysterious time
no doubt oblivious
to itself
an unconscious irony
unaffected, for it will always be
doubt's truth
creator of scenarios
each with their own reality
battles to the death
miracles of life redeemed
ignorance
oxygen in water
water full of salt
salt absorbing water
heat evaporating the last drop
a pillar of salt remains
on the flats pointing to nowhere
an ocean never flows
through a valley void of tomorrows
but still
it never escapes me
when I dream
day and night
I close my eyes
and
high upon the mountain
it is cold
I pause to consider
Heaven's lack of warmth
is it vacant ...
the distraction rides a snowflake
carefully chosen from several
different from the others
special
warmth comes from somewhere
I believe it is inside of someone
and melting surprises the mountainside
it shivers and comes to life
there is more warmth
more melting
more shivering
I awaken and the dream continues
I stand at the bottom of the cliff
looking up
the cliff is dry and lined with foliage
a drop of melted mountain snow
plunges from the cliff
to my waiting tongue
I'm not practical
or even sensible
I understand frantic pursuit
I relish ultimate pleasure
loud joy
raucous release
there are those who smile
remembering
still I dream
and it never escapes me
now, together
I pause to your surprise
I search for your soul
with deliberation I move
and urge you to move in response
focus
every cell connecting
acknowledging each connection
soul searing soul
slow circles
leaning far to the right
then the left
rising up and forward
connected and acknowledging
neither escaping
neither trapped
another drop
another
a stream
a torrent
more than I can consume
I don't stop
the mountain rumbles
the world buckles in laughter
doubt is unknown
time is unaware
I dream day and night
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
|
Hello Mikey
I've been waiting for a time to review this properly ... seems there is non at the moment. I read rama devi's review and she has it in hand. This poem deserves that kind of a review, I largely agree with what she has to say. I too think you may well be a winner in the contest, and at the very least I hope to see you nominated for POM.
"I'm not practical
or even sensible
I understand frantic pursuit
I relish ultimate pleasure
loud joy" - seems your dream love has unconditional love, she loves your quirkiness and your "loud joy" - the value she has for you is real, and for who you really are ... not the masks we must wear for others.
"there are those who smile
remembering" - those who share a respect and liking and loving for you ... those who have understood you and been an integral part of your life's experience, and both you, and they, will smile at your interaction with each other. Just my interpretation of course, I may be completely off-base. lol
"I close my eyes
and
high upon the mountain
it is cold
I pause to consider
Heaven's lack of warmth
is it vacant ..."
"the distraction rides a snowflake
carefully chosen from several
different from the others
special"
"a drop of melted mountain snow
plunges from the cliff
to my waiting tongue"
There are so many exceptional phrases and your placement and spacing of these words and phrases is perfect ... no need for punctuation.
"the world buckles in laughter ..." - if only it weren't a dream!
"A Day and Night Dream
I know your name"
A wonderful conclusion. So simple and elegant. This is my favourite kind of Mikey poetry. You've excelled yourself here. Rama devi has included the poetical techniques of this outstanding free verse. I'm out of time. Excellent and I'll even congratulate you on your win already. Wishing you luck in the contest. Hugs - Lovi xoxox
it never escapes me
my dream
day and night
clinging ... even desperately
when force fights hope into a corner
preying with reality's many weapons
mysterious time
no doubt oblivious
to itself
an unconscious irony
unaffected, for it will always be
doubt's truth
creator of scenarios
each with their own reality
battles to the death
miracles of life redeemed
ignorance
oxygen in water
water full of salt
salt absorbing water
heat evaporating the last drop
a pillar of salt remains
on the flats pointing to nowhere
an ocean never flows
through a valley void of tomorrows
but still
it never escapes me
when I dream
day and night
I close my eyes
and
high upon the mountain
it is cold
I pause to consider
Heaven's lack of warmth
is it vacant ...
the distraction rides a snowflake
carefully chosen from several
different from the others
special
warmth comes from somewhere
I believe it is inside of someone
and melting surprises the mountainside
it shivers and comes to life
there is more warmth
more melting
more shivering
I awaken and the dream continues
I stand at the bottom of the cliff
looking up
the cliff is dry and lined with foliage
a drop of melted mountain snow
plunges from the cliff
to my waiting tongue
I'm not practical
or even sensible
I understand frantic pursuit
I relish ultimate pleasure
loud joy
raucous release
there are those who smile
remembering
still I dream
and it never escapes me
now, together
I pause to your surprise
I search for your soul
with deliberation I move
and urge you to move in response
focus
every cell connecting
acknowledging each connection
soul searing soul
slow circles
leaning far to the right
then the left
rising up and forward
connected and acknowledging
neither escaping
neither trapped
another drop
another
a stream
a torrent
more than I can consume
I don't stop
the mountain rumbles
the world buckles in laughter
doubt is unknown
time is unaware
I dream day and night
Comment Written 19-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Wow. You totally understand all of this. I'm so delighted I don't even know what to say. It isn't often that anyone actually understands what I'm talking about, so I'm pretty jazzed. ))
Everything you picked out was important to me and every word of your interpretation was one hundred percent on the money. I'm just stunned. Thanks a trillion. I will write more stuff. Hugs, he's smiling, mikey
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
Best and most awesome free-verse contest entry I have had the pleasure of reviewing, mikey! I say this, because it is true...not to be nice and pleasant. (I am not nice and pleasant. lol) Hope you win this one. You have my vote, for sure. I love the first verse so much. Really set the mood for the rest of the verses well. This is an excellent presentation...beautiful flow to it when read aloud. Great job. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
|
Best and most awesome free-verse contest entry I have had the pleasure of reviewing, mikey! I say this, because it is true...not to be nice and pleasant. (I am not nice and pleasant. lol) Hope you win this one. You have my vote, for sure. I love the first verse so much. Really set the mood for the rest of the verses well. This is an excellent presentation...beautiful flow to it when read aloud. Great job. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 18-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Wow, Susanne. I'm speechless. I think you may be nice and pleasant. LOL
I'm so pleased you like this. This is my natural style when I write the way I wish. Thanks trillions. Blessings and hugs and stuff, mikey
Comment from Nika2016
Expanding realities? Breaching time and space? Unintentional collection of someone's light caught like fireflies in a jar?
Some kind of juju where others watch? While a nova flared?
Interesting poem...
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Expanding realities? Breaching time and space? Unintentional collection of someone's light caught like fireflies in a jar?
Some kind of juju where others watch? While a nova flared?
Interesting poem...
Comment Written 18-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Pretty much crazy in love desiring the lovely woman. My usual. LOL Thank you, mikey
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well written and formatted free verse poems. The space is used well to give you time to ponder.
I like the way you use nature as metaphor for both lifes problems and hopes. It seems like love is the dream you seek. To win someone's soul.
It should do well in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
|
This is a well written and formatted free verse poems. The space is used well to give you time to ponder.
I like the way you use nature as metaphor for both lifes problems and hopes. It seems like love is the dream you seek. To win someone's soul.
It should do well in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 18-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Yes, you have it on the money. Glad you enjoyed. Thanks so much, mikey
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I did. You're very welcome, Mikey.
Joan
Comment from LIJ Red
For the first time, I clicked on the Classic version, and yes, the text looks better. The new software is irritating to try to read most posts, the window
is too narrow and easy to lose. Like some older phones. Excellent free verse.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
|
For the first time, I clicked on the Classic version, and yes, the text looks better. The new software is irritating to try to read most posts, the window
is too narrow and easy to lose. Like some older phones. Excellent free verse.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
-
I always read in classic. The new version scrunches everything up. I've even had to make lines shorter to fit it in. I don't know why Tom won't fix it. It's off center too.
Glad you liked this. Thanks, mikey
Comment from GWHARGIS
I liked your poem but I have to be honest. I have no idea what your deeper meaning was. If it was just a dream then I understood. Your lines were quite entertaining. My favorite line another drop .... a torrent more than I can consume. Said so much. Great job. Gretchen
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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I liked your poem but I have to be honest. I have no idea what your deeper meaning was. If it was just a dream then I understood. Your lines were quite entertaining. My favorite line another drop .... a torrent more than I can consume. Said so much. Great job. Gretchen
Comment Written 17-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Well, Gretchen, it's kind of rambling and pouring out of my head. But it's about dreaming of being with my girl more of less and seeing her everywhere in everything i suppose. It's more about the feeling than the words. An overwhelming desire like a snow covered mountain melting and flowing down in a torrential downpour. Something like that. LOL Glad you found it interesting. That's the idea. mikey
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It was quite good and now that explained it, the sequences make better sense. Poetry is something I know very little about. Learning as I go. Lol. I have always enjoyed your work. I like the sarcastic edge to most of it. I look forward to reading more. Gretchen
Comment from Susanjohn
Michael, your words and thoughts take my breath away!!..."neither escaping, neither trapped" Micheal!! I'm reading for the third time now....unbelievably amazing work..truly and quite honestly...I am just letting this one soak in...
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
|
Michael, your words and thoughts take my breath away!!..."neither escaping, neither trapped" Micheal!! I'm reading for the third time now....unbelievably amazing work..truly and quite honestly...I am just letting this one soak in...
Comment Written 17-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
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Susan, I'm so thrilled you like this. This is my true style. I am a free verse poet and this is my own personal style. So it's the world to me that you enjoy this so much. Thanks so very much. mikey
