Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Excellent

Very nice, Kim! The artwork and your poem/poems befit one another well.

Thanks so much for your author notes explaining the 'Katauta' and the 'Sedoka'. Your title, "breath and two breathe" is an excellent way for a novice to remember the difference between Katauta and Sedoka. Clever!

Connie

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2016

Hi Connie!

I'm so glad you enjoyed this selection :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. I'm having fun with the different styles this month.

Kim

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

I just learned of these forms about month ago. Sandra posted one too. I haven't written one yet, but enjoyed yours and the info you have provided about them. Good work, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016

Thank you for a delightful review, Debbie :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my poems.

Kim

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

What a fascinating form! It reminds me of the beginnings of tanka :-)

[One of the oldest Japanese forms, tanka originated in the seventh century, and quickly became the preferred verse form not only in the Japanese Imperial Court, where nobles competed in tanka contests, but for women and men engaged in courtship. Tanka's economy and suitability for emotional expression made it ideal for intimate communication; lovers would often, after an evening spent together (often clandestinely), dash off a tanka to give to the other the next morning as a gift of gratitude.]

I love the idea of "call and response" contained in the sedoka.

Your Katauta stands alone as an almost self contained "a-ha", but by
adding the second 'stanza' it opens up to a much broader imagery
of two lovers conversing on a "mental" channel - expressing the depths
of their obsession with each other!

Very nice!!! :-)

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016

Hi Leineco!

I know that the Katauta predates the haiku by 1000 years. It is one of the forms that are considered to be Waka poetry and therein, I believe, lie the similarities to the Tanka. Thank you for all of the kind comments. I, too, was delighted by the idea of the lovers in conversation.

Kim

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed your 2 poems. Thank you for the notes. Both poems say a lot in a short space. I like the 2nd longer one better. Each one would stand alone, I just like how they go together so well.

Good job and thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016

Thank, Janny :)

And that is really the point of it, too... the katauta is really half a poem... it becomes so much more when complete :) I appreciate the time you took to read and comment.

Kim

Comment from lightink

Excellent

Another set of forms I'm less familiar with! You seem to seduce East and West with ease! I love what you did by combining the two poems!
The combined meaning adds extra dimensions! Exquisite writing!

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016

Hi Jyoti!

That is actually what the Katauta is... half of a poem. When you put the two together, you form the Sedoka, it's like magic. I love the idea of it being a conversation between lovers. That is how it was written, the second half as a reply to the first half in poetic conversation. Very romantic, I think :) Thanks for the great review!

Kim

reply by lightink on 12-Apr-2016

Very much so! You sure made that magic happen! :)

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

A very well structured poem and I enjoyed your authors notes as much as I enjoyed the poem. Very nicely written. The art work complemented your poem.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016

Hi D&V!

Thank you for a lovely review. I'm happy you enjoyed the poems and the author's notes :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Kim

Comment from pmait

Excellent

Thank you for the education. Except for haiku, I had not experimented with the Asia forms until I started doing FanStory. Now I am finding out why they have become popular in the west.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Hi pmait!

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I'm glad you enjoyed my selections.

Kim

Comment from foxangie123

Exceptional

I sure hope you know what an amazing author you are. I enjoy your work so very much and am amazed each time by your unique, outstanding, writing abilities. Wow....

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Thank you, Angie!

I am truly honored and appreciate your kind words and six shiny stars. Thank you for the time you take to read and review.

Kim

reply by foxangie123 on 11-Apr-2016

I love your writing. You are so wonderful. Never stop.

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Ah, how beautiful. Both romantic separately, but together I see the "conversation." So subtle. New love picks up on nuances such as a lover's one breath while sleeping. Married for years--stop the snoring and go to the couch. Seriously, though, I enjoyed reading your poem and your author's note. Marilyn

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Hi Marilyn!

You made me laugh with that one! James and I have been together 25 years, I know what you mean ;) Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!

Kim

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

What an intriguing artwork to establish the mood for your katauta and sedoka! Thank you for your notes on these form and the information from M. Kei about the age of katauka. The final line in each love poem is quite evocative. Hugs- Joan

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Hi Joan!

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poems. I appreciate your kind comments :)
Have a wonderful day!

Kim