Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

For the hour or less challenge, you did a great job with this quatern, I loved the way you seemed to layer these concepts... using the last verse, for dual purpose to me (on purpose?).

The first sets touch each on different ... well, crunchy aspects of humanity.... greed, apathy, ignorance, the monsters made by humanity, malice, destruction, injustice... midway I see little clips of wishing for it to end... be silenced, change... be better... appealing to this possibility, by the last set, there is a massive--take recognition of the consequences conclusion... but what I liked was that it has a double flavor to the end question.

Not only the question, is this the way people have to behave, can't we do better... but a darker undertone of: do people have to be completely wiped out for the nonsense to end. (Ultron logic)

A chilling punch there, which I found very potent.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2016

It's recently been estimated that species are becoming extinct at a rate 1000 times greater than they would be if humans weren't in the picture. It would seem that evolution has made a huge mistake in "creating" us. A number of people have speculated on nature deciding to re-balance the scales, and yep, we would have to be the first thing to go. Of course, evolution doesn't really make mistakes or think, I'm anthropomorphising here. There are days, when I see some particularly distressing example of the evils humans are capable of, that I wish that day would be sooner rather than later.

As always, Turtle, you have got to the heart of what I'm trying to say. Thanks for the lovely review. I'm sorry that it didn't come with better financial reward.

Comment from lightink

Excellent

You seem to be in sync with Gloria - except you focused more on the wealth gap between classes and nations! Heartbreakingly true! Trump is more than a bad joke - the symbol of everything that's wrong with the US.
Thank yaou for the deep poem

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2016

Yes, Gloria and I were the "serious" ones - most of the others have a sense of humour!

It was fun anyway :)

Thanks for the lovely review, much appreciated.

Craig

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

You have addressed four very important issues here, my friend. A well structured quatern. I must say I like the second stanza the best~Debbie

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016

Thanks for the kind review Debbie, much appreciated! Craig

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

Good job on this Craig... deeply thought out, and though I'm not sure of the some of the actual political figures, it doesn't matter, as they can pertain to any from any country. Well done, and, as always... I enjoy reading your work
Cat

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016

Did someone mention politics? It wasn't too deeply thought out, it was the best I could do in < 20 minutes ;-) Then I saw all the really great funny ones

Thanks Cat, I always am happy when I see you've reviewed something.

Comment from Scarbrems

Excellent

'I wish to God he'd just shut up.' - Good point, well made.
I like the way you've addressed some serious points here, whilst using a playful rhyming scheme (ooh, get me, anyone would think I knew stuff about poetry).
'Is this the way it has to be' is a grat choice of line for the refrain. No, it isn't, but it is sadly the way it is.

Great job with the challenge.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016

Thanks for the lovely review, Sarkems. These Sunday morning (my time) challenges are proving to be lots of fun - not to mention... hmmmmm... challenging.

Someone forgot to mention knowing stuff about poetry was a prerequisite, and so here we are!

Thanks again for checking out my work :)

Craig

reply by Scarbrems on 20-Mar-2016

So it's, what, Monday lunch for you now? Nyer, nyer, I'm still enjoying Sunday...

reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016

haha nooooo, only just ticked over to Monday - 12:20 am.

reply by Scarbrems on 20-Mar-2016

Ah, so 11 hours ahead of me then. Still sort of nyer nyer though, but not as nyer nyer as I thought. Nyer nyer.

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Wow! I wish I thought to write about such a worthy cause. The time limit left me in a panic. I went with the first thing to pop into my head. You did very well with this challenge and I'm in awe.

One little thing:

- "is this the way (way) it has to be?" - this is your repeating line in stanza two.

This is a fantastic response to the challenge!

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2016

I'm so glad you picked up that little mistake I deliberately put in there just to see who was REALLY reading.

(Just kidding! Thanks for picking that up - I've fixed it now) :-)

Your lovely comments are much appreciated - thanks Joy.

Craig

Comment from Warren Rodgers

Excellent

Hi Craig,
Your Quatern is excellent, especially considering you wrote it in less than an hour! Excellent meter and rhymes. I don't have the quatern rhyme scheme nearby but I do believe you have followed it perfectly. Just one suggestion and that's all it is, on lines 2 and 3 you use the word 'across' which of course breaks NO rules but you may want to substitute one of those with another word.

The content of your poem is current and troublesome for the world. I loved your characterization of "A clown spouts hatred from TV" ! You know I live here and I everyone I've talked to feels the same way.. so who supports him?? Scary I agree and an embarrassment to our country if he makes it to the general election and if he wins oh no! There are now large groups teaming up to defeat him. But your poem not only tackles Trump but famine, investment bankers, and our abuse of or environment. Very well done, I enjoyed the read.
all the best,
Rodger

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2016

You're absolutely right, Rodger, about the two occurrences of 'across'. I've changed it now, thanks for spotting it :)

If he wins, I'm going to volunteer for that planned one-way expedition to Mars!

Thanks for a great review, very much appreciated.

Craig

reply by the author on 19-Mar-2016

So sorry, I got your name wrong in my original response. I've corrected it. Oops, more coffee!

reply by Warren Rodgers on 19-Mar-2016

haha Craig, I'll save you a spot in line. But let's not pollute Mars with his poison. We'll tell him Mars then send him toward the Sun.
:))

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

Ugh, I know who you mean when you talk about the clown spouting hatred on TV, I wish he'd shut up. He scares me, to be honest, along with the people in favor!!!
I see you DID wake up, good job!
Carol

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2016

Haha - barely!

Thanks, Carol. I'm surprised you managed to pick who that stanza was about - well maybe not lol

I was thinking to myself - I hope they don't introduce Carol's favorite form for this one hour challenge - my chances would be less than a snowflake's in hell :)

Much appreciated,
Craig

reply by ciliverde on 19-Mar-2016

Lolol - no, you could do it! I'm at work so I'm only able to check in sporadically right now anyway :)

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

A very pertinent set of questions in a quatern form. Like the rest I have seen thus far, an excellent entry. Quite a range of questions. Excellent.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2016

Thank you, LIJ Red, for the kind comments. Much appreciated. Craig.

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

Hi Craig,

I thought this was an interesting challenge. I do love a quatern, and you have done yours in perfect fashion. You've posed thoughtful questions. How about an accompanying piece with intelligent answers? I know how much you like writing prompts. A whole other idea for you to explore! :)

This was written both with speed and sanity of mind, that doesn't always happen lol Great job!

*hugs*

Kim

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2016

Thanks Kim :)

I only fake sanity - I thought you knew that ;-)

Much appreciate the kind comments.

Craig