Toy Soldiers
A Minute poem for the contest30 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a very thoughtful look back of your boyhood days playing soldiers and reflecting on you father's thoughts and experiences. This picture reminded me of my son, he too spent hours playing with his army.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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This is a very thoughtful look back of your boyhood days playing soldiers and reflecting on you father's thoughts and experiences. This picture reminded me of my son, he too spent hours playing with his army.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Thank you, Pearl, for your review and kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Louise Michelle
What a poignant poem this is, Tony. What came to mind is how ISIS leaders are teaching young children to cut off the heads of their stuffed animals. This sure makes any thinking person consider the connection between childhood play and violent aggression as adults. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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What a poignant poem this is, Tony. What came to mind is how ISIS leaders are teaching young children to cut off the heads of their stuffed animals. This sure makes any thinking person consider the connection between childhood play and violent aggression as adults. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 05-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Thanks, Lou. I hadn't heard of that beheading of children's stuffed animals. One wonders just how low a human can stoop.
Comment from Spitfire
What a heart breaking comparison. It is bothersome to me that children play those violent video games. Three dimensional soldiers would be worse because you can handle them. Did your father die in the war? If so, I'll bet his spirit helped you write this. A six if I had anymore. Glad it's in a contest.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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What a heart breaking comparison. It is bothersome to me that children play those violent video games. Three dimensional soldiers would be worse because you can handle them. Did your father die in the war? If so, I'll bet his spirit helped you write this. A six if I had anymore. Glad it's in a contest.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Thanks for this review, Spitfire. I appreciate your empathy. No, my father survived two years in the trenches and two years in the Royal Fling Corps. Such wounds as there were, were mainly internal. He never spoke of those days. The scenario of him watching me play with my toy soldiers is a fiction, but I often wondered what he thought in the privacy of his own mind.
Comment from Treischel
Just a boy and his toys playing war with toy soldiers. You raise and intriguing concept are your watched by your dad, a war veteran. The Minute poem was a very good format for it. Gets you thinking.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016
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Just a boy and his toys playing war with toy soldiers. You raise and intriguing concept are your watched by your dad, a war veteran. The Minute poem was a very good format for it. Gets you thinking.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016
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A work of fiction really. Yes, my father was in the trenches during WW1, and yes, I did have a wide window ledge in my bedroom that made an excellent battlefield for tin soldiers - but, no, the amalgamation of the two is just something that came to mind.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
This is an excellent entry for the Minute contest, Tony! To go from playing with toy soldiers to fighting in a war just a few short years later really makes one think. SO many lives lost! :( Thanks for your author notes about your father.
"Did he despair
As he watched me
Dispatch with glee?" ... very good ending.
Makes one wonder. Some soldiers would never speak of the war upon their return. Others would always talk about it. Each had their own way of coping with the trauma of it all.
Good luck in the contest, Tony!
Connie
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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This is an excellent entry for the Minute contest, Tony! To go from playing with toy soldiers to fighting in a war just a few short years later really makes one think. SO many lives lost! :( Thanks for your author notes about your father.
"Did he despair
As he watched me
Dispatch with glee?" ... very good ending.
Makes one wonder. Some soldiers would never speak of the war upon their return. Others would always talk about it. Each had their own way of coping with the trauma of it all.
Good luck in the contest, Tony!
Connie
Comment Written 04-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
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Thanks, Connie. Although my father survived both World Wars, and I used to have a large box of toy soldiers, the scenario was fictitious. He never spoke of the war and I often used to wonder what memories were locked up in his head.
Comment from michaelcahill
Terrific poignant piece, Tony. I totally caught the gist of this long before I read the notes. You set the tone perfectly and in this TERRIBLE form that is impossible to work with. Smooth flowing and obviously perfect word selection or it doesn't work at all. Ha!
A strong contender for sure. Maybe a winner. mikey
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016
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Terrific poignant piece, Tony. I totally caught the gist of this long before I read the notes. You set the tone perfectly and in this TERRIBLE form that is impossible to work with. Smooth flowing and obviously perfect word selection or it doesn't work at all. Ha!
A strong contender for sure. Maybe a winner. mikey
Comment Written 04-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016
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Thanks, Mikey. I really appreciate your review of this and your empathy with the content. It was a childhood memory. I never knew my father well. He was a taciturn man with a facility for hiding his emotions under the veil of a sharp wit. I had jotted down the author notes some time ago in an 'ideas' book I carry around with me. I had the intention of making a longer and more significant poem of it one day. However, the brevity of the Minute form seemed more in keeping with his character.
Comment from C.J. 16
A lot of boys seem to love to play with soldiers. Your poem is very interesting. What is fun for boys is not exactly a picnic for men fighting in a real war. Very thought-provoking, especially the last three lines. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2016
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A lot of boys seem to love to play with soldiers. Your poem is very interesting. What is fun for boys is not exactly a picnic for men fighting in a real war. Very thought-provoking, especially the last three lines. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2016
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Thanks, CJ. I appreciate your comments and am glad that my poem gave a little food for thought. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from robyn corum
TF,
This is a remarkable poem. It gives me chills. I think of all the minute poems I've seen (and I've seen lots!) this is one of the top two. But this one adds a dose of hard reality and coldness that the other - in its sweetness - lacks. You should have a definite contenda'.
One note:
His war the same, with stench and fear.
--> your near rhyme works well, but does detract just a bit from the beauty of your poem (IMO). I wonder if you might use something like:
--> His war the same, with stench and care/snare
--> snare would also give you the consonance on the 's'
Don't mean to offend. Disregard if you like~! Thanks so much for sharing this beauty and much good luck!
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2016
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TF,
This is a remarkable poem. It gives me chills. I think of all the minute poems I've seen (and I've seen lots!) this is one of the top two. But this one adds a dose of hard reality and coldness that the other - in its sweetness - lacks. You should have a definite contenda'.
One note:
His war the same, with stench and fear.
--> your near rhyme works well, but does detract just a bit from the beauty of your poem (IMO). I wonder if you might use something like:
--> His war the same, with stench and care/snare
--> snare would also give you the consonance on the 's'
Don't mean to offend. Disregard if you like~! Thanks so much for sharing this beauty and much good luck!
Comment Written 03-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2016
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Thanks, Robyn. I appreciate your comments and can see where you are coming from with the fear/despair near rhyme. I guess it didn't hit me, as I tend to pronounce 'fear' rather lazily myself, so that it is almost identical to 'fair'. I shall have to think about that one. Not easy to change without significantly changing the meaning, or else recasting those two lines. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Aussie
Excellent presentation for your minute poem. Growing up, children do play war-games. So sad when boys become men and then sign up for the real thing. So many died for no good reason. Well done poet.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2016
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Excellent presentation for your minute poem. Growing up, children do play war-games. So sad when boys become men and then sign up for the real thing. So many died for no good reason. Well done poet.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2016
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Another six stars! I am truly honoured! Thanks very much for your review and comment. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from IndianaIrish
Excellent imagery with your Minute poem, Tony, as I recall my brother playing "war" with all his different army men. Your notes made me wonder as well, what the thoughts of dads who watch their boys playing n their innocence. Think that would make an xcellent poem as well. Best wishes in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2016
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Excellent imagery with your Minute poem, Tony, as I recall my brother playing "war" with all his different army men. Your notes made me wonder as well, what the thoughts of dads who watch their boys playing n their innocence. Think that would make an xcellent poem as well. Best wishes in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 03-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2016
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Thanks so much Karyn. Lovely to hear from you, as always. Yes, I think most boys seem to play at war, if not with toys and computer games, then with any stick at hand that can become a gun or a sword.