Falling Off The Edge
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Falling Off The Edge - Part Two"A true story
46 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
Some people get a high off of their so-called bureaucratic filling of important. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Some people get a high off of their so-called bureaucratic filling of important. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Thanks a lot. Much appreciated. Best regards. Ulla
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You're welcome, Ulla. Charlie
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Quite the cliff hanging ending, Ulla! I can't believe a professional lawyer would call out over the crowd to harass you about an inheritance. What an ass! I can only hope in the next chapter you're able to give it to him with both barrels.
Good job with conveying your emotions and the details of the dull and sober ceremony. I hope you post Part III soon!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Quite the cliff hanging ending, Ulla! I can't believe a professional lawyer would call out over the crowd to harass you about an inheritance. What an ass! I can only hope in the next chapter you're able to give it to him with both barrels.
Good job with conveying your emotions and the details of the dull and sober ceremony. I hope you post Part III soon!
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Thanks a lot for this. Yes, he was something else. More to follow soon. All the best. Ulla
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Ulla,
It's a nice piece of Biographical Non-Fiction leading the story forward in an interesting way.
Smooth and captivating flow almost throughout with a catchy end which predicts that something more interesting is about to come in the next part and I'm waiting for that.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Hello Ulla,
It's a nice piece of Biographical Non-Fiction leading the story forward in an interesting way.
Smooth and captivating flow almost throughout with a catchy end which predicts that something more interesting is about to come in the next part and I'm waiting for that.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Thanks a lot for this great review. So pleased that you like it. All the best. Ulla
Comment from Hannah_Kay
This is a gripping story! You really know how to structure your chapters with just the right cliffhanger. I jumped into this story without reading your previous writings, and I must say in this small span you've hooked me.
My favorite line: "I had been denied a long time ago." That was a strong sentence that you smartly isolated for the biggest punch, and it worked.
My only suggestion would be to watch for the commas and periods, as sometimes commas show up in places where the periods are supposed to be. I noticed that from reading your little description too -"But Like most, I suppose I don't know, if I have what it takes." I think the comma after "I suppose I don't know" is unnecessary.
Wonderful work, and I hope to keep up with your writing from here on out.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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This is a gripping story! You really know how to structure your chapters with just the right cliffhanger. I jumped into this story without reading your previous writings, and I must say in this small span you've hooked me.
My favorite line: "I had been denied a long time ago." That was a strong sentence that you smartly isolated for the biggest punch, and it worked.
My only suggestion would be to watch for the commas and periods, as sometimes commas show up in places where the periods are supposed to be. I noticed that from reading your little description too -"But Like most, I suppose I don't know, if I have what it takes." I think the comma after "I suppose I don't know" is unnecessary.
Wonderful work, and I hope to keep up with your writing from here on out.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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When you give a four please be more specific where I have gone wrong. If you give four for some puntuation mistakes please explain to the writer where those mistakes are. Also that you review my profile is quite beyond your scope. And finally read the site rules for rating. That you think it is such wonderful writing and then give a four is quite contraditive in terms. English is not my first language so this is not very helpful. Ulla
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh, I hope you gave that lawyer an earful he'll never forget! What a horrid thing to say to someone who's come to pay respects, in spite of the way things ended, in spite of the awful emotional abuse she'd suffered at the hands of the woman she was honoring. Ulla, there's not much more to say about the actual writing - it is what I've already told you - polished and riveting reading!
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Oh, I hope you gave that lawyer an earful he'll never forget! What a horrid thing to say to someone who's come to pay respects, in spite of the way things ended, in spite of the awful emotional abuse she'd suffered at the hands of the woman she was honoring. Ulla, there's not much more to say about the actual writing - it is what I've already told you - polished and riveting reading!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Dawn, thanks ever so much, I am so pleased. It was amazing what happened there. Not entirely surprised when my adoptive mother was involved. More to follow. All the best. Ulla:))
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I'll be watching for it. You're very welcome, Ulla.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Ulla: was this true about you? What happened to you and your mom? I like the suspense of the funeral and you meeting the attorney. I'll be back. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Ulla: was this true about you? What happened to you and your mom? I like the suspense of the funeral and you meeting the attorney. I'll be back. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 20-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Yes, that is what happened with my adoptive mother. She was not a nice person at all. My real mother was lovely, but I only found her in 2003. The funeral of my adoptive mother is taking place in 1995. Thanks a lot for the review. More is to follow. All the best. Ulla
Comment from Wabigoon
Ulla--
This is really good, but, for me, no where near enough. You hint at your discomfort here, well, more than hint, but I would like it if you had created more of your internal dialogue with this Vicar. Even if you have to make it up. I can feel that you are furious, or close and yet not letting us really see and feel that.
The episode is well done, dramatic, but...not enough. You break on a really good, dramatic note with the lawyer.
Here are some problems that I think are language problems more than anything:
filled with the pleasant (aspect) of where to have lunch, -- prospect
I stopped in my track(), -- usually it expressed "stopped in my tracks."
And in that (instance) -- instant
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Ulla--
This is really good, but, for me, no where near enough. You hint at your discomfort here, well, more than hint, but I would like it if you had created more of your internal dialogue with this Vicar. Even if you have to make it up. I can feel that you are furious, or close and yet not letting us really see and feel that.
The episode is well done, dramatic, but...not enough. You break on a really good, dramatic note with the lawyer.
Here are some problems that I think are language problems more than anything:
filled with the pleasant (aspect) of where to have lunch, -- prospect
I stopped in my track(), -- usually it expressed "stopped in my tracks."
And in that (instance) -- instant
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 20-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Hi Jeff, thank you so much. First of all thanks a lot for setting my language right and I have made the corrections. Something I perfectly know when told but couldn't see.
Well, at that funeral I was not angry at all. I was totally indifferent. I couldn't care less. So why was I there? See that is a good question. Fate? Maybe. All I knew was that I had to be there. What follow will show why. More to come. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from fafa
It is a good few history of very good form,the fact of being biographical makes hermore valuable, greetings
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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It is a good few history of very good form,the fact of being biographical makes hermore valuable, greetings
Comment Written 20-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much for your kind review. All the best. Ulla
Comment from write hand blue
Hi ULLA, that is a shocker at the end, to not be able automatically to inherit from adoptive parents.
I think you made what could have been a depressing tale of a funeral, into an interesting account. Made all the more readable by the fact that it's all true.
Well written, and a compelling read. I must try and catch the next posting... ~Mel~
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Hi ULLA, that is a shocker at the end, to not be able automatically to inherit from adoptive parents.
I think you made what could have been a depressing tale of a funeral, into an interesting account. Made all the more readable by the fact that it's all true.
Well written, and a compelling read. I must try and catch the next posting... ~Mel~
Comment Written 20-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much Mel for your great review. I am pleased that you like it. All the best. Ulla
Comment from GWinterwin
I truly enjoyed your story very much, and everything was very realistic. It must be hard for someone to go through such an experience. Good job of telling about this incident.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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I truly enjoyed your story very much, and everything was very realistic. It must be hard for someone to go through such an experience. Good job of telling about this incident.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
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Thank you very much. More to follow. All best. Ulla