The Ghost Pumpkin Fire Brigade
Beware of the ghost of Jack-O'-Lantern!43 total reviews
Comment from Commando
A belated, "Merry Christmas," SIS CAT"--and I loved your story. May I sugges, "that you keep your pen full of ink--mind on your work...and get on with it, my friend." May the year 2016 be "your best ever."
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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A belated, "Merry Christmas," SIS CAT"--and I loved your story. May I sugges, "that you keep your pen full of ink--mind on your work...and get on with it, my friend." May the year 2016 be "your best ever."
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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Yes, junglefighter, I have to keep my pen full of ink, my mind on my work, and get on with it. Thank you for your review and stars.
Comment from Ric Myworld
You know what? I'm so glad that you found time to read my story yesterday. Because if you hadn't, I may have never got the chance to read your wonderful story that I will never forget; and if you wouldn't mind, I would love to make a few copies for a few children to have the pleasure of reading? Outstanding! I enjoyed every word and line of your story, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. Happy Halloween! :-)
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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You know what? I'm so glad that you found time to read my story yesterday. Because if you hadn't, I may have never got the chance to read your wonderful story that I will never forget; and if you wouldn't mind, I would love to make a few copies for a few children to have the pleasure of reading? Outstanding! I enjoyed every word and line of your story, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. Happy Halloween! :-)
Comment Written 01-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2015
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Ric, the thought occurred to me while reading your review: children's book. You're the second reviewer who asked if he could print and share this story with children. Yes, you may as long as you write on it my actual name: Andre Le Mont Wilson.
I tell stories from memory live before audiences. In October, I made my professional debut as a paid storyteller at a children's storytelling festival in Berkeley. Since I am just starting out telling live stories, I did not have any CDs, DVDs, or books to sell, unlike the storytellers who have been telling stories for decades. But your review made me think, "How about an illustrated children's book of 'The Ghost Pumpkin Fire Brigade'?"
Although this, my first story, was published twenty-nine years ago in a firefighter's magazine and I will make an attempt to published this revised version next year in time for the thirtieth anniversary, the idea of an illustrated children's book appeals to me. Some of the visuals are stunning: tangerine horses, fire engine tanks shaped like pumpkins, and, when you look into the eyes of Captain Saint George, you see the stars in the sky behind his head. I am amazed that I dreamt this stuff up. What else lurks in my imagination?
So, yes, I am so glad I reviewed your story because when you reviewed mine, you gave me the idea of publishing "The Ghost Pumpkin Fire Brigade" as an illustrated children's book.
Thank you for the review and the stars. I will be up in the wee hours of the Day of the Dead, waiting for the Ghost Pumpkin Fire Brigade to stop by my house so I could fly with them. Happy Halloween!
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Yes, I will add your real name. You definitely should think of publishing this story and any others as pleasant and entertaining. IT'S GREAT!
Comment from Ulla
Three times did I start writing a review on your story and every time my Internet connection went down the drain, hence this belated one.
It's a wonderful story you have written, and how can you not believe in ghosts after this one. I especially liked the end of the story. Well done, and well written. Good luck in the contest. All best. Ulla
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
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Three times did I start writing a review on your story and every time my Internet connection went down the drain, hence this belated one.
It's a wonderful story you have written, and how can you not believe in ghosts after this one. I especially liked the end of the story. Well done, and well written. Good luck in the contest. All best. Ulla
Comment Written 31-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
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Thank you, Ulla, for your review. While my story came in second in the contest, I thrilled sharing it with you, especially since I revised it just before the certificate expired. Thanks for your persistence in reviewing this.
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Oh, congatulation on the second place. Well done. It it's a good story. All best. Ulla
Comment from redrocklover
What a delightful and engaging story. Your writing flows smoothly and your story is easy to follow. I especially liked your ending. Good luck with the contest.
Blessings,
Linda
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2015
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What a delightful and engaging story. Your writing flows smoothly and your story is easy to follow. I especially liked your ending. Good luck with the contest.
Blessings,
Linda
Comment Written 30-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2015
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Thank you, Linda, for your review and contest well wishes. The voting ended and I came in second, but I am glad my story delighted and engaged you. Thanks.
Comment from ravenblack
A very unique Halloween tale, ghosts tasked with putting out the ectoplasmic flames left in the wake of Jack-o-lantern. Really, a brigade is needed. Have you ever smelled burnt pumpkin...ugh! This has definite kid appeal.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2015
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A very unique Halloween tale, ghosts tasked with putting out the ectoplasmic flames left in the wake of Jack-o-lantern. Really, a brigade is needed. Have you ever smelled burnt pumpkin...ugh! This has definite kid appeal.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2015
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Oh, thank you, ravenblack for your enthusiastic review. I had a blast sharing this poem on FanStory. Thanks.
Comment from Jay Squires
Hahaha! Well done friend Andre! I always relish your Author Notes since you have a lot of personal information there.
A few notes:
Jonathan threw off his blankets and rushed the window. [... rushed TO ? the window...]
the fire captain put on Jonathan a helmet and a slicker, [rather odd syntax. Do you mean: "The fire captain put a helmet and a slicker on Jonathan" ?]
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
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Hahaha! Well done friend Andre! I always relish your Author Notes since you have a lot of personal information there.
A few notes:
Jonathan threw off his blankets and rushed the window. [... rushed TO ? the window...]
the fire captain put on Jonathan a helmet and a slicker, [rather odd syntax. Do you mean: "The fire captain put a helmet and a slicker on Jonathan" ?]
Comment Written 30-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
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Oh, thank you, Jay for your review and corrections. I fixed those two sentences. I am glad my story made you laugh.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets and exceeds the contest requirements! It is well written and thoroughly entertaining from beginning to end. The lightness and fairy tale tone of your writing voice was superb turning the experience into a bit of spooky fun. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
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This meets and exceeds the contest requirements! It is well written and thoroughly entertaining from beginning to end. The lightness and fairy tale tone of your writing voice was superb turning the experience into a bit of spooky fun. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
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Thank you, Mystic Angel 7777, for your generous, six star review. I am thrilled that my story entertained you from beginning to end. As you saw in the notes, I studied folktales to craft this story which was my first published story twenty-nine years ago. I am studying more folktales so I can create new ones. Thanks again for your review.
Comment from MacMhuirich
What a wonderful tale, this was enjoyable from start to finish. The imagery you have created are stunning, water from the pool using pumpkin-carved water buckets. It was all a dream..or was it??? Love the ending when it leaves Jonathan wondering. Best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2015
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What a wonderful tale, this was enjoyable from start to finish. The imagery you have created are stunning, water from the pool using pumpkin-carved water buckets. It was all a dream..or was it??? Love the ending when it leaves Jonathan wondering. Best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John
Comment Written 30-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2015
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Thank you, John, for your review. My story came in second in the contest, but I am thrilled to have shared "a wonderful tale" with you. Thanks.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Great story and very topical of course. I liked the originality of this - it met the prompt requirements but not in a cliched way.
A couple of things didn't work for me...
The paragraph explaining about Stingy Jack interrupted the flow of the story - in my estimation your tale would be much better without it.
The moment the boy grabbed it, they disappeared....
This line puzzled me. I had to pause and work out the intended meaning. I feel someone has to be watching for someone to disappear; can you see yourself disappear? I think you could re-phrase this (and the start of the following paragraph.
Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
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Great story and very topical of course. I liked the originality of this - it met the prompt requirements but not in a cliched way.
A couple of things didn't work for me...
The paragraph explaining about Stingy Jack interrupted the flow of the story - in my estimation your tale would be much better without it.
The moment the boy grabbed it, they disappeared....
This line puzzled me. I had to pause and work out the intended meaning. I feel someone has to be watching for someone to disappear; can you see yourself disappear? I think you could re-phrase this (and the start of the following paragraph.
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 30-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2015
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Thank you, thank you, thank you, Steve, for your pointing out two weak areas in my chapter. I have come up with solutions to increase clarity and keep the story moving. Rather than omitting it, I put the explanation of Stingy Jack in a conversation between Captain Saint George and Jonathan. The scene is more vivid and clearer than it was before.
One of the challenges I faced with this story was that I published it twenty-nine years ago when my writing style and skills were very different than they are today. I used what I have learned in the past twenty-eight years to update my story.
Thank you for pointing out areas that needed re-phrasing.
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is an outstanding ghost story and perfect for the Halloween season, Anonymous Author. It's scary, but not too much so, and would be appropriate for almost all age groups.
Actually the British can lay claim to ownership of the original use of the phrase "jack-o'-lantern." In the 17th century, it referred to a night watchman, a man who literally carried a lantern. (Jack has been a general term for a boy since the 16th century.)
But it was also a nickname for strange, flickering lights seen at night over wetlands or peat bogs and mistaken to be fairies or ghosts. This natural phenomenon is also called ignis fatuus, which means "foolish fire", and will-o'-the-wisp. By the mid-1800s what was called a "turnip lantern" became known as a jack-o'-lantern. Young boys used these hollowed-out and lit-up gourds to spook people.
Irish legend has it that this use of jack-o'-lantern was named after a fellow named Stingy Jack, who thought he had tricked the devil, but the devil had the last laugh. He condemned Jack to an eternity of wandering the planet with only an ember of hellfire for light. Immigrants brought the jack-o'-lantern custom to North America, which is where pumpkins were first used to make the Halloween decorations.
And hey, you wanna impress fellow partiers this weekend with a little known fact, try this one. Jack-o'-lantern is also the name for an orange fungus. The mushroom Omphalotus olearius is found at the base of hardwood tree stumps, and it is extremely poisonous.
Again, an excellent story and a true contender in the contest.
Best of luck to you in the voting booth.
Always with respect
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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This is an outstanding ghost story and perfect for the Halloween season, Anonymous Author. It's scary, but not too much so, and would be appropriate for almost all age groups.
Actually the British can lay claim to ownership of the original use of the phrase "jack-o'-lantern." In the 17th century, it referred to a night watchman, a man who literally carried a lantern. (Jack has been a general term for a boy since the 16th century.)
But it was also a nickname for strange, flickering lights seen at night over wetlands or peat bogs and mistaken to be fairies or ghosts. This natural phenomenon is also called ignis fatuus, which means "foolish fire", and will-o'-the-wisp. By the mid-1800s what was called a "turnip lantern" became known as a jack-o'-lantern. Young boys used these hollowed-out and lit-up gourds to spook people.
Irish legend has it that this use of jack-o'-lantern was named after a fellow named Stingy Jack, who thought he had tricked the devil, but the devil had the last laugh. He condemned Jack to an eternity of wandering the planet with only an ember of hellfire for light. Immigrants brought the jack-o'-lantern custom to North America, which is where pumpkins were first used to make the Halloween decorations.
And hey, you wanna impress fellow partiers this weekend with a little known fact, try this one. Jack-o'-lantern is also the name for an orange fungus. The mushroom Omphalotus olearius is found at the base of hardwood tree stumps, and it is extremely poisonous.
Again, an excellent story and a true contender in the contest.
Best of luck to you in the voting booth.
Always with respect
~Dean :}
Comment Written 29-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Thank you, Dean, for your thoroughly informative review. You reminded me that I studied will-o'-the-wisps at the time I first wrote and published this, my first story, in a firefighters magazine in 1985. Your depth of knowledge of the macabre and my scratching the surface back then make me want to study myth and folklore more. I do not want to wait another twenty-nine years to write another ghost story. Thank you also for your contest well wishes. Always.
Anonymous Author
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It was my pleasure, you're more than welcome.
~Dean