Reviews from

2015 Haiku

Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Haiku ( Indigo Sky )"
A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015

13 total reviews 
Comment from pbroussard209
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this was a lovely Haiku, and I am so glad you put the definition of a desert rose in your author's notes, as I was picturing some kind of flowering cacti. The image of shimmering crystals are so much nicer, and now I have to go look up a picture of them, lol. I am a rock lover, and am always looking up different stones.

great poem.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015
    Thank you pbroussard :) They are pretty. My uncle brought back one from Iran a long time ago and I still remember it. It does have the shape of a rose.
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
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I wish I had six stars left to give you. This haiku sounds so lovely. The desert rose sounds beautiful. I love that you are writing a book. That is so exciting to me. A great poet writing a collection of her poems sends shivers up my spine. Your writing is always wonderful. Best wishes.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    Thank you Darlene, you are very kind :)
reply by The Mom/DarleneThomson on 12-Aug-2015
    Your welcome
Comment from I am Cat
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I actually have some desert roses... so I knew this one! BOOYA! ;)
well done Gypsy...
two concrete imagery lines... perfectly beautiful


indigo sky
over crystal desert rose

and your lovely satori line...


last roundup

well done! lovely haiku to go with your collection. Love it
Cat

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2015

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
    Thank you Cat :)
reply by I am Cat on 11-Aug-2015
    my pleasure
Comment from judiverse
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Indigo is a sharp visual to describe the sky. The formations must be quite colorful. I can somewhat get roundup, as this looks to be a western setting. However, I couldn't connect "last roundup." I can't relate this to rounding up cattle or any other kind of roundup. judi

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2015

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
    I was thinking last round at a bar, like in last drink in the desert. Maybe that is too far fetch. Do you think I should change it? Thank you!
reply by judiverse on 12-Aug-2015
    You're very welcome. It's always up to you to make a change. You might go by whether others notice that line. judi
Comment from Ben Colder
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Did you do this in story or poem? Either way it is ok. Love seeing Indigo skies. One would need to visit the desert in the fall for a better view. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2015

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
    this is a haiku not a story but there was some confusion about the placement. Thank you Ben, I appreciate the review. :)
Comment from Nosha17
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I am not sure, are these crystals available in a desert-I am trying to understand the imagery. Well chosen words, an indigo sky must be beautiful. Faye

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2015

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
    The crystals look light brown and in the form of a rose, it almost looks like a rock. My uncle worked in Iran for many years and he brought me one. Thank you for the review :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
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I enjoyed your haiku. I live in a desert area, and can "see" what you are saying. Good job. Why is this not listed as a poetry?

Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2015

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
    Thank you for the review Jan. I told Tom and he said he fixed it. I have to check with him again. Thank you for the review. :)
Comment from Dawn Munro
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I'm surprised to find this in the wrong column, and even more surprised that it is lacking your usual beautiful presentation, but as for the haiku itself, it's brilliant! I absolutely love everything about it!

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2015

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
    Thank you Dawn. It is mess, I contacted Tom, he told me he fixed it. I will have to contact him again, thank you for the feedback and the review. :)
reply by Dawn Munro on 11-Aug-2015
    You are very welcome.
Comment from Gloria ....
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Excellent haiku in good form, Gypsy. I can picture the indigo sky and the desert rose.

The satori goes over my head though. Last roundup, I am guessing you mean the sky is making its final round for the day? Is that correct?

Nonetheless I really enjoy the visuals and the tone, so great work.

Gloria

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2015

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
    I meant like 'last round' of drinks at a bar, or roundup of cattle.
    Thank you for the review, Gloria, I appreciate it. :)
reply by Gloria .... on 11-Aug-2015
    Aha! See, now I got it. Thank you so much for helping me out. :-)
Comment from boxergirl
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Your haiku is structured properly and provides strong imagery of the desert rose.
Each line flows smoothly and then the satori line sends a strong message. I really enjoyed visualizing this scene and I appreciate you sharing it.

Karen 8-)

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2015

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
    Thank you Karen :)