Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your poem about waking up dead. Good rhythm and even flow with good word choices and attractive format. Good luck the contest,
Nicely done!

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Thanks much for the review! Enjoy the day! Sam

Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson

Excellent

Kudos. I love the structure and flow of this poem. Unbelief in anything that is not tangible comes through so vividly. So many concepts to be construed. I would recommend this to others. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Thanks... very much...appreciated! Enjoy the day! Sam

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

A very eerie feeling. I guess waking up dead is just that. Like how you write:

"So could not trust in God
Or love
And certainly did not realize
The two were one."

I agree with that 100%. Well crafted. Les

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Thanks very much! I think your right....Have a great day! Sam

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

You've written an impressive view of death.
The silence, isolation, sameness: "no day Or nightfall here"
Death, it seems, is the continuation of what one was in life
"I had faith in only that
Which I could touch"
Now there is nothing to touch
well done

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Thanks very much for reviewing...always appreciated. Enjoy the day! Sam

Comment from sajeda6

Excellent

Lovely poem. Nicely explained in detail, from the line" I woke up dead"
I like the way it has in detail of emptiness, alone, the feeling of not having the day or night and the picture really draws attention. It makes the poem come to life. Enjoyed reading.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Thanks very much for reviewing this piece....Hope you have a great day! Sam

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

What an unfortunate plight to realize all you ever chased in life are the things you could never achieve no matter how hard you tried and were only empty illusions. This well written poem depicting this notion should be a good contest entry. Well done.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Thank you for your review. Always pleased to hear feedback. enjoy your day! Sam

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

'I'd been a (staid,) affluent man.' What is (staid)? I do not understand this line.

This is a sad poem my friend and one which a lot of us can relate to. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Thanks for reviewing. A few synonyms for (staid) grave, humorless, no-nonsense. My inclination was to spend several days wrestling with that word (I've been known to do that..often) but I was running out of contest time..so I just went for it. It was a word that popped into my mind and it wouldn't leave me alone. Thanks again..appreciated! Sam

Comment from Janet7053

Excellent

What hell that would be to stare at nothingness. I rather think that hell will be worse even than your portrayal.

Keep writing and thank you for sharing your thoughts and creativity with us.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015

Thanks very much for the review! Yes, I'm training for the alternative :) Sam