2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 59 "haiku ( I can't stop smelling )"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
11 total reviews
Comment from Kellytr
A very clever and humorous haiku and a great series of photos to compliment your entry. I enjoyed this. Nice to see a five syllable word employed in the final line. Cheers, Kelly
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2015
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A very clever and humorous haiku and a great series of photos to compliment your entry. I enjoyed this. Nice to see a five syllable word employed in the final line. Cheers, Kelly
Comment Written 02-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2015
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thank you kellytr i appreciate your review
Comment from BeasPeas
Amusing, cute and clever in the haiku style. Good job with writing this and image to accompany does bring a smile. Cats do the darndest things.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015
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Amusing, cute and clever in the haiku style. Good job with writing this and image to accompany does bring a smile. Cats do the darndest things.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015
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Thank you BeasPeas, I really appreciate your review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
LOL. Now this is really cute, especially with the pictures that you used. The only thing I might suggest is something that was suggested to me a long time ago, and it was a similar poem I wrote with a picture of just the puppy's nose showing through a knot-hole in a fence - the poem needs to stand alone, without the picture. (I am not being condescending, merely passing on what I learned, yes?) Does this poem work on its own? Is there enough of a mental picture of who the "I" is in the poem?
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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LOL. Now this is really cute, especially with the pictures that you used. The only thing I might suggest is something that was suggested to me a long time ago, and it was a similar poem I wrote with a picture of just the puppy's nose showing through a knot-hole in a fence - the poem needs to stand alone, without the picture. (I am not being condescending, merely passing on what I learned, yes?) Does this poem work on its own? Is there enough of a mental picture of who the "I" is in the poem?
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much for your review, I really appreciate it. Thank you for your feedback Dawn. One other person suggested the same. The requirememt of the pront is to make people laugh. I will take a look though and think about it. Thanks!
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You're very welcome.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is a cute write, mystery writer, this made me smile as I read it. oh, the horrors of stinky feet. cold hands, warm heart, stinky feet and no sweetheart. I love the picture. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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this is a cute write, mystery writer, this made me smile as I read it. oh, the horrors of stinky feet. cold hands, warm heart, stinky feet and no sweetheart. I love the picture. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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Thank you sweet, i appreciate your review.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Nice entry for the Laughter prompt - good to see a humorous haiku, too.
Weak point perhaps that the poem really doesn't work too well without the artwork, so how much of the humour comes from the words and how much from the picture?
Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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Nice entry for the Laughter prompt - good to see a humorous haiku, too.
Weak point perhaps that the poem really doesn't work too well without the artwork, so how much of the humour comes from the words and how much from the picture?
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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thanks
Comment from lalajovanoski
ha ha ha!!!
what a great haiku poem to submit to the contest!
you are very talented and you have my vote!
great use of words that convey your message well
thank you very much for sharing this. i truly enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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ha ha ha!!!
what a great haiku poem to submit to the contest!
you are very talented and you have my vote!
great use of words that convey your message well
thank you very much for sharing this. i truly enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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thank you lala, I really appreciate your great review
Comment from RYME4U
This is cleverly done/ A funny Haiku is a unique idea. / You have presented this in a very amusing way. It meets contest requirements. Good job!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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This is cleverly done/ A funny Haiku is a unique idea. / You have presented this in a very amusing way. It meets contest requirements. Good job!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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thank you ryme, i appreciate your lovely review
Comment from Joan E.
I'm still chortling! Your pictorial sequence is a choice addition to your 5-7-5--how neat that "asphyxiation" is 5 syllables!! Best wishes in the laughter contest- Joan
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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I'm still chortling! Your pictorial sequence is a choice addition to your 5-7-5--how neat that "asphyxiation" is 5 syllables!! Best wishes in the laughter contest- Joan
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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thank you joan, i appreciate your lovely review
Comment from w.j.debi
This is adorable and certainly gave me a chuckle. That cat looks like it keeled over from the fumes it exhaled from that shoe. It certainly looks stiff as a board. Excellent verse and paired with the accompanying photos it tell such a woeful story. Poor cat.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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This is adorable and certainly gave me a chuckle. That cat looks like it keeled over from the fumes it exhaled from that shoe. It certainly looks stiff as a board. Excellent verse and paired with the accompanying photos it tell such a woeful story. Poor cat.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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thank you wj, I appreciate your review
Comment from His Grayness
This is truly a smile maker in both word and picture. It is so quick and snappy that it leaves the reader with little to think about except it's overall "cuteness" and frankly IMHO, this form of poetry offers little more. Well done! HIS GRAYNESS PS: I'm sorry to be out of sixes, well deserved!
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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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This is truly a smile maker in both word and picture. It is so quick and snappy that it leaves the reader with little to think about except it's overall "cuteness" and frankly IMHO, this form of poetry offers little more. Well done! HIS GRAYNESS PS: I'm sorry to be out of sixes, well deserved!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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thank you his grayness, I appreciate your review and I will take your invisible sixth star :)
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you are most welcomed! Vance