2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "haiku (luminous firefly)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
9 total reviews
Comment from seaglass
Growing up in the Ozarks, these were part of summer's delight. I often pretended they were fairies. Your haiku paints a great word picture of this amazing little bug.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Growing up in the Ozarks, these were part of summer's delight. I often pretended they were fairies. Your haiku paints a great word picture of this amazing little bug.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
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Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate it very much
Comment from I am Cat
those letters are certainly glowing!
Do you know that before I moved here to North Texas, just
three years ago,
it had been quite some time since I'd seen fireflies
(we call them lightning bugs) :)
I see them all the time here... especially since we've had so much
rain... and we've killed off the fire ants.. they tend not to come around
when we have fire ants.
Anyway, i liked your haiku
Good luck in the contest
Cat
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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those letters are certainly glowing!
Do you know that before I moved here to North Texas, just
three years ago,
it had been quite some time since I'd seen fireflies
(we call them lightning bugs) :)
I see them all the time here... especially since we've had so much
rain... and we've killed off the fire ants.. they tend not to come around
when we have fire ants.
Anyway, i liked your haiku
Good luck in the contest
Cat
Comment Written 11-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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Thank you Cat. I read about your term for fireflies, lightning bugs, funny thing you mentioned it. I really appreciate your review.
Comment from TPAC
True to the contest spirit I feel, writer conveys the beauty of these creatures, also the reasoning of wisdom of their illustrated glow -companionship
suggestion
luminous firefly fly free nightly companion with golden glow
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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True to the contest spirit I feel, writer conveys the beauty of these creatures, also the reasoning of wisdom of their illustrated glow -companionship
suggestion
luminous firefly fly free nightly companion with golden glow
Comment Written 11-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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I appreciate your review and kind words.
Comment from Bill Schott
Your bug haiku, luminous firefly, reminds us that that golden glow floating out there in the night is not Tinkerbell.....
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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Your bug haiku, luminous firefly, reminds us that that golden glow floating out there in the night is not Tinkerbell.....
Comment Written 11-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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I appreciate your review and kind words.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements nicely with a correct line and syllable count. The imagery is solid in the first two lines but the third line is more added description that a true satori. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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This meets the contest requirements nicely with a correct line and syllable count. The imagery is solid in the first two lines but the third line is more added description that a true satori. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
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I appreciate your review and kind words.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is a cute write, mystery writer, I love fireflies and they bring me back memories of keeping them in mason jars on my grandfather's farm. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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this is a cute write, mystery writer, I love fireflies and they bring me back memories of keeping them in mason jars on my grandfather's farm. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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thank you sweetwoodjax, I appreciate your review
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This meets the criteria of the prompt as to form and syllable count, and the firefly subject is pleasant and cheerful. The "take me there" line is a bit of a mystery to me, but I will give it some more thought. Haiku can have something to ponder. Good luck, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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This meets the criteria of the prompt as to form and syllable count, and the firefly subject is pleasant and cheerful. The "take me there" line is a bit of a mystery to me, but I will give it some more thought. Haiku can have something to ponder. Good luck, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 10-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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thank you Jeanie
Comment from christianpowers
Hi,
The imagery was fine, but I thought a haiku was 5-7-5 syllables, or am I wrong? I have no idea. It's a Japanese art form concerned with the nuances of the Japanese language, yet all these poets try to translate that unique dynamic into English, a completely set of whole new dynamics should apply. No one ever talks about that. They just keep on writing these things and arguing whether it fits the haiku or senryu criteria. It's absurd really.
Either way, this haiku, or senryu.. or whatever it is in English... succeeded in conveying some imagery. Great job.
Christian
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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Hi,
The imagery was fine, but I thought a haiku was 5-7-5 syllables, or am I wrong? I have no idea. It's a Japanese art form concerned with the nuances of the Japanese language, yet all these poets try to translate that unique dynamic into English, a completely set of whole new dynamics should apply. No one ever talks about that. They just keep on writing these things and arguing whether it fits the haiku or senryu criteria. It's absurd really.
Either way, this haiku, or senryu.. or whatever it is in English... succeeded in conveying some imagery. Great job.
Christian
Comment Written 10-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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Hello christian, haikus are usually 5/7/5 syllables but in this contest the rules are 17 syllables or less. Thank you for the review.
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is a very good haiku but the prompt calls for no strict end rhymes and all of your lines rhyme. Maybe I need to clarify the rules to be no end rhymes.
Teresa
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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This is a very good haiku but the prompt calls for no strict end rhymes and all of your lines rhyme. Maybe I need to clarify the rules to be no end rhymes.
Teresa
Comment Written 10-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2015
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You are right, I changed it. Thank you for the review
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great, I changed your rating. Good luck. It won't let me edit the rules now.