Reviews from

Beautiful Death

Viewing comments for Chapter 10001 "Phantom,Gizzmo and the Rag doll"
from birth I have longed for death

7 total reviews 
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Good
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Typo in the breed of the ankle biter. Additional typos in this as well. Other things to write about than a dog peeing all over the house and humping a doll.

 Comment Written 25-May-2015


reply by the author on 25-May-2015
    So you do not like my choices, but you do not choose what I write about.
    Simply skip my writing, if you suffer.

    I plainly have problems with many typos, and you seem to always miss what the story is about.

    This being the case, I can only say thank you for your jaded not helpful review.

    I find some reviewers that can give few stars and less insults. They are the ones that show me mistakes and how to correct them.

    I will not use my disability with memory or comprehension to stop my writing.

Comment from Walu Feral
Excellent
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G'day Coral. I must admit to laughing at the poor dog's issues after humping the doll LOL. This is a very tender and touching chapter my friend and I couldn't spot any mistakes in it, well done, if I had a six it would be yours. Great work, cheers Fez

 Comment Written 24-May-2015


reply by the author on 24-May-2015
    You are too kind.
    How is your family?
    We get our guy out of the hospital next week, as long as his kidneys improve. His toe is now gone and because he is not yet even 45 he needs to take better care of himself.

    Talk to you next week!

    When do you win the contest? can I do anything toward this?
reply by Walu Feral on 24-May-2015
    Thanks mate. The family are all well, although most of us have a cold, me included...Good luck with the boy and his toe....as far as the contest goes, I'm not real sure, but I think it is in the next two days....I'm dumb with these contests. Cheers Fez
Comment from Curly Girly
Excellent
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This is an interesting short story to read. To me, it had 3 topics. The first was about the dog and the doll, then the cat, and then putting the dog down--which included your views on euthanasia to a degree. Perhaps each one of these topics would be better if singled out for its own story. The topics need space to breathe, and ideally, should not be crammed in altogether.

 Comment Written 23-May-2015


reply by the author on 23-May-2015
    Thank you, you are completely right.

    Thank goodness I can edit gradually.

    I write like I think, I am ADD.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
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Your story of true love has come at the right moment. My mother just had to put her Boston Terrier to sleep, which was very hard because she's getting old and the dog was a great companion for her. She recently fell off of a porch and was badly injured, and he would stay by her side and try to protect her. Then, when she was getting well enough to move about on her own, her started to suffer from his age, and she had him put to sleep today. She's very sad, but, like you, she couldn't see him suffer.

I'm glad the Vet didn't let you go with your pet!

Rhonda

 Comment Written 23-May-2015


reply by the author on 23-May-2015
    Thank you!

    You are always kind in your reviews.
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 24-May-2015
    I love your work. You are so honest, and deal with issues from everyday life.
Comment from schaunancy
Average
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While I certainly agree with the premise that animals and humans should suffer but be able to be allowed to be put out of their misery, I didn't quite get the connection of Gizzmo and doll. Maybe a little more storyline in between the two themes.

 Comment Written 22-May-2015


reply by the author on 23-May-2015
    Sorry, my mind wanders and while the doll story was funny after he recovered it took me to other memories of my little pet.

    I do not think either animal or human should suffer. I feel that any creature should not have to suffer.

    I sometimes do not make my thoughts clear.
Comment from Jay Squires
Good
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In spite of the fact I gave this four stars, Cbat, I want you to know it was a lovely story, entertaining, thoroughly enjoyable. You are a good writer and you knew your subject.

The deduction of one star was for SPAG. I don't include suggestions I made. As soon as you let me know you've corrected the SPAG I'll return your star. Fair enough?

I had just come from a trip, I had purchased a rag doll, with long brown yarn hair. [You need punctuation other than a comma after "trip" since it forms a run-on sentence (Two complete sentences separated by a comma ... also called a comma splice >> in this case you could replace the comma with "where".]

I hearing his strange scream went into the living room [Comma after "I" and "scream" to separate a clause.]

I got a grip on him and tried to see where [Paragraph spacing error.]

First it looked like a rather long pink elastic [Another paragraph spacing error.]

as close as possible to his apparatus's; [No apostrophe needed: APPARATUS. >> although I don't think it would be inappropriate here to call a penis a penis.]

As he went to sleep, I longed to go with him.
The vet refused. [Are you saying you wanted the vet to administer the lethal injection to you?







 Comment Written 22-May-2015


reply by the author on 23-May-2015
    Thank you, you really do help me.
    I seem to have a memory thing and sometimes cannot retain things I try to remember.
    On the apparatus thing, As old as I am I still have a problem saying the word, (because I AM OLD.?)

    It was a sort of joke about the vet.

    Truthfully I appreciate the suggestions much more than stars.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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I love this story!!

When I was a little girl, I had a cute pickeneeze puppy. Her name was funny.

[.......'I hearing his strange scream'....] I think the 'I' was typed by mistake.

story review
the story's action flows smoothly, you used descriptive language, you have an excellent character development and you held my interest all the way to the end.

Good job!!

 Comment Written 22-May-2015


reply by the author on 23-May-2015
    Thank you.