To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "The Dreaded Door"Free Verse Poetry
10 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
perhaps this is why I come here each night before I close my eyes?
I've opened that door before
oh yes, indeed I have
I've even entered blindfolded
I've entered drunk
I've entered in arrogance
I've entered in stupidity
decisions, decisions...
I just need to open that door... eek in... and make sure that all is well?
is it?
it is for me.
mostly.
i'm exhausted, and fading fast, and it's raining outside, (my favorite sound ever)
rain. (well, almost)
you're welcome ;)
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015
  |
perhaps this is why I come here each night before I close my eyes?
I've opened that door before
oh yes, indeed I have
I've even entered blindfolded
I've entered drunk
I've entered in arrogance
I've entered in stupidity
decisions, decisions...
I just need to open that door... eek in... and make sure that all is well?
is it?
it is for me.
mostly.
i'm exhausted, and fading fast, and it's raining outside, (my favorite sound ever)
rain. (well, almost)
you're welcome ;)
Comment Written 05-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2015
-
You appear to be home and okay. So, I'll guess that everything went well, or well enough. I hope so. The sound of rain, yes, we likes it. Thank you
nite nite, mikey
-
Yes, I made it here... thanks for thinking of me. *soft smiles*
Comment from Tatarka2
I think this is a poem many will relate to, as the door stands as a metaphor for many different situations, afflictions, etc. A couple of suggestions: some of the lines are just too long to make the poem flow lyrically, whether read aloud or silently. What if, for instance, the first stanza went something like this: "I can hear it creaking/squeaking, hungry for oil/ a lubricating gel would help/ the sound of it grates on my thinking/ I have to push the door open/ the answer is on the other side." Also, I think you mean "whats" and "whys," not "what's" and "why's." These are just suggestions, humbly offered.
 |
I think this is a poem many will relate to, as the door stands as a metaphor for many different situations, afflictions, etc. A couple of suggestions: some of the lines are just too long to make the poem flow lyrically, whether read aloud or silently. What if, for instance, the first stanza went something like this: "I can hear it creaking/squeaking, hungry for oil/ a lubricating gel would help/ the sound of it grates on my thinking/ I have to push the door open/ the answer is on the other side." Also, I think you mean "whats" and "whys," not "what's" and "why's." These are just suggestions, humbly offered.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2015
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Well written poem for the contest.
-Good sound imagery in the first stanza.
-Trying to lubricate the door is something we've all had to do to a squeaking door, and it does get annoying.
-It is also understandable that the person wants to investigate the other side.
-In the first two lines of the second stanza, there is good use of alliteration, and it continues with the issue of being desperate and annoyed by this door.
-In the third stanza, it seems the person has so many conflicting feelings, but still the door looms, agonizing him that much more.
-Finally, after having been in so many states before, he still can't make a decision, thus leaving the door a remaining enigma and irritation to him.
-A small note on "what's and why's and wherefores":
After looking it up, it seems that each word is without the apostrophe.
|
-Well written poem for the contest.
-Good sound imagery in the first stanza.
-Trying to lubricate the door is something we've all had to do to a squeaking door, and it does get annoying.
-It is also understandable that the person wants to investigate the other side.
-In the first two lines of the second stanza, there is good use of alliteration, and it continues with the issue of being desperate and annoyed by this door.
-In the third stanza, it seems the person has so many conflicting feelings, but still the door looms, agonizing him that much more.
-Finally, after having been in so many states before, he still can't make a decision, thus leaving the door a remaining enigma and irritation to him.
-A small note on "what's and why's and wherefores":
After looking it up, it seems that each word is without the apostrophe.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2015
Comment from dmt1967
I like this take on this writing prompt. I take it the door is inside the poets head. This is an unusual take on the subject of behind the door, and I like it. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
|
I like this take on this writing prompt. I take it the door is inside the poets head. This is an unusual take on the subject of behind the door, and I like it. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
Comment from patcelaw
Sometimes by faith we have to open a door. In doing so we might find it scary, then again we might find the very answer we have searched for many years. Blessings and good luck in the contest. Patricia
|
Sometimes by faith we have to open a door. In doing so we might find it scary, then again we might find the very answer we have searched for many years. Blessings and good luck in the contest. Patricia
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
Comment from vapros
Lots of imagination and clever description shown here, as you contemplate a noisy door that you have visited before. Having one's mind trapped in a padded room is a novel concept that contributes to your post.
v
|
Lots of imagination and clever description shown here, as you contemplate a noisy door that you have visited before. Having one's mind trapped in a padded room is a novel concept that contributes to your post.
v
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
Comment from royowen
A nice entry in this "what's behind that door" contest. A good well written about a person who's been behind the the door, but doesn't seem to know, although they've been behind in all states of intoxication, and all sorts of emotional conditions, but isn't tellings. Some great poetic language, well structured and interesting, well done, blessings, Roy.
|
A nice entry in this "what's behind that door" contest. A good well written about a person who's been behind the the door, but doesn't seem to know, although they've been behind in all states of intoxication, and all sorts of emotional conditions, but isn't tellings. Some great poetic language, well structured and interesting, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
Comment from Lesley Collier
A good poem showing the bravery of passing from the outside world to an inner room of silence and safety. Even though the room has been entered before with many difficult and unresolved problems the door remains waiting to be restored and rejuvenated to it's original glory and a decision has to be made by the individual entering the door to return to the room and resolve the dilemmas of life and find safety and satisfaction in the room of life.
|
A good poem showing the bravery of passing from the outside world to an inner room of silence and safety. Even though the room has been entered before with many difficult and unresolved problems the door remains waiting to be restored and rejuvenated to it's original glory and a decision has to be made by the individual entering the door to return to the room and resolve the dilemmas of life and find safety and satisfaction in the room of life.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
Comment from lakeport
The dreaded door, indeed a few drops of oil would cure the doors creaking pain.
enjoyed reading the story poem. God bless you, Lakeport,
|
The dreaded door, indeed a few drops of oil would cure the doors creaking pain.
enjoyed reading the story poem. God bless you, Lakeport,
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
Comment from bizzygirl
Third stanza "wherefores" needs an apostrophe? I like the imagary this dreaded door displays. 2nd line 2nd stanza is marvlous. This poem leads one to contemplate decisions of how we try to breech the rusty door. Very nice. Good luck in the contest!
|
Third stanza "wherefores" needs an apostrophe? I like the imagary this dreaded door displays. 2nd line 2nd stanza is marvlous. This poem leads one to contemplate decisions of how we try to breech the rusty door. Very nice. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015