Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

A great one, Dean. My childhood nightmares were about tornadoes and witches. I have a condition called nightmare disorder to this day. My nightmares occur nightly and are very frightening and violent. I awaken screaming and often, it takes up to 30 minutes to calm down and figure out they aren't real. Maybe I should write a book? Take care, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015

Thanks, Debbie, perhaps you should. I can tell you this much, I'd read it, LOL.

I very much appreciate you taking interest in this series. Now if I can only come up with enough material -- good material -- to fill an entire book with these stories, I'll be on cloud nine. I too have nightmares quite often. And like yours, they take awhile to recover from. On the upside, they do provide me with a great deal of ideas, LOL.

Thanks again. :} ~Dean

Comment from Treischel

Excellent

That was an unexpectedly unusual surprise. I expected that tale to go an entirely different way. You got me. An excellent blend of sound, image, and verse. The author note dream was just as exciting.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015

Thanks for having a look at this and reviewing it for me, Tom. As always, you very much value and appreciate your feedback. :}

~Dean

reply by Treischel on 31-Mar-2015

Congratulations on you Poem of the Month win, you are really racking them up lately.

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015

Thanks, Tom, but you know what they say...

"Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then." Heh-heh...

I sincerely appreciate that, my friend. :} ~Dean

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Great voice for the intro dialogue and a scary little story. I used to have repeat dreams as a child and actually saw people all around my bed but when Mum came into me she couldn't see them. Could never work that out as a child, but on reading about your dream, that really was scary.
Congrats on your recent win Dean, well done.

Have a good day

valda

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2015

Thank you very much, Pearl. I'm happy you enjoyed the story, and I appreciate your comments, as always. ~Dean :}

Comment from marijmd

Exceptional

Short - sweet - and creepy! NIce touch at the end - the gulping and scared expresion on the under the bed daughter makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up - leaves you wondering - what will the Dad see when he stands back up???

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2015

Heh-heh, well, it's safe to assume that it won't be his daughter, that's for sure, LOL.

Thanks a bunch for your thoughtful review and generous rating, marijmd. I certainly appreciate it, as always. :) ~Dean

Comment from Ridley Williams

Exceptional

Hi Dean,
Nice one! You hit on one of my childhood nightmares; the monster under the bed.
I always wanted my dad to move my mattress onto the floor to elevate the problem, lol. Of course he didn't buy into that idea but would faithfully check under the bed to help me go to sleep.
I don't remember ever seeing a scary movie at that time, with that type of theme. Curios that most kids have this inbred fear; must be something left over from our ancestors. Remind me to thank them for that, lol.
Another great chapter; you certainly have a knack for delivering a frightening message in small package...brrrrrr!
"See" you in the next one, Bill

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2015

Thanks so much for your interest in this series, and for your support as well, Bill. I'm also very grateful for your generous rating, my friend. I sincerely appreciate it.

Yes, placing the mattress on the floor isn't a bad idea at all...unless you have a closet in your room, LOL. I was never much afraid of what might be lurking beneath my bed, but I was terrified of what might be hiding in my closet at night.

Thanks again, and pleasant screams, heh-heh... :} ~Dean

reply by Ridley Williams on 31-Mar-2015

Funny you should mention the closet; I always let my little brother sleep next to the closet. I figured I could get away while the closet monster was munching on him, lol.
Ahhhh, the wondrous sacrifice of one brother for another, eh? Haha.
Looking forward to the next one!

Comment from rod007

Excellent

Brilliant. Who is the real Betsy? You created the perfect conundrum. Is the child under the bed the real Betsy or the one that's on the bed. What is the test old Edgar must apply to know which body is his daughter. Or is his daughter already dead and we have two ghosts in Betsy's bedroom---food for horrifying thoughts. Well done, Dean.

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015

A-h-h-h, therein lies the rub, doesn't it, Rod, my friend, LOL. Who indeed is the true Betsy? You know, the Doppelganger legend claims that if the ghostly double and the real person see one another, they are both devoured and will disappear. So, I'm afraid the poor girl is doomed if she ever rises up from beneath her bed, or the other gets off the bed.

Much obliged for the review, my friend. :) ~Dean

Comment from DALLAS01

Excellent

Pretty amazing how such a small piece can exacerbate into an imaginative longer narrative in one's head. Simply due to the uncanny power of suggestion. You accomplished your goal with the music and recitation.

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015

Thanks very much, DALLAS. I'm very happy you enjoyed this tiny tale of terror, and I certainly appreciate your comments.

~Dean :}

Comment from PatVallesMangan

Excellent

Wow! This is such an excellent presentation! I loved the way you began it and then move ever so "innocently" ;) into the Doppelganger experience. In so few words, you created a feeling of terror that at some time, most all have gone through. When these dreams feel so real and happen repeatedly, I believe that these can be "Night Terrors." You certainly have captured the feeling! I always enjoy good "old fashioned" horror! Well done my friend! Blessings! ~ Pat

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015

Thanks very much, Pat!

I'm very happy you enjoyed this tiny tale of terror, and I certainly appreciate your comments.

~Dean :}

Comment from w.j.debi

Exceptional

Scary, Dean--both the story of the little girl with her duplicate under the bed, and your terrifying dream of your parents and their doubles. Both sound like they could make be a story found on the old Twilight Zone.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 29-Mar-2015

Naturally, I am a huge fan of those old Rod Serling hosted Twilight Zone series shows, debi. So not only have you paid me a wonderful compliment in comparing this to one of my all-time favorite series, you also saw fit to award me a six star rating as well. I appreciate each and every six I get. We get so few of them to hand out.

I'm glad you are into this series. In reality, all of those stories are based on old campfire tales, unban myths and legends, and even contributions from good people just like you who might have a story to share. Of course, if I use another members idea, I will acknowledge their contribution in my author's notes.

So, if you have any spooky stories or have had any eerie personal experiences, shoot me a message and I'll do a story about it.

Thanks again, my friend. Pleasant screams, heh-heh... ~Dean

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

What a dream...not a dream, DeanO...a nightmare. Did you tell your parents about the "dream?" I've had some dandies but never anythng like that. Nice touch with the preemptive sound. Bob

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2015

Yeah, I told my dad, but my mom would have just dismissed it as an over active imagination from reading too may horror comics, heh-heh. I went to my father with all of my problems and things that bothered me as a young lad, and I still do today. My mom, I can't talk to her in the same way, I never could.

Thanks a bunch for the review, Bob. I really appreciate it. :) ~Dean