My Little Book of 5-7-5's
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Bath Bomb Explosion"2015
16 total reviews
Comment from closetpoetjester
LOL One suggestion Deb...drop your bomb into the foot of an old some old panty hose leg, tie it off and then drop the muther in! LMAO
No floaty bits then. Haha
Your friend had a lovely thought but I wonder had she tested this first? Me thinks NO. Anyway this was a thoughtful gift and obviously enjoyable until things turned pear shaped and then fell to bits.
You da bomb! Great photo!
Well done...cheers P
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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LOL One suggestion Deb...drop your bomb into the foot of an old some old panty hose leg, tie it off and then drop the muther in! LMAO
No floaty bits then. Haha
Your friend had a lovely thought but I wonder had she tested this first? Me thinks NO. Anyway this was a thoughtful gift and obviously enjoyable until things turned pear shaped and then fell to bits.
You da bomb! Great photo!
Well done...cheers P
Comment Written 19-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Hi P :) That's a great idea - a pantyhose sieve = gorgeously coloured and scented bath without the crap floating around.
Thanks for your fun (and helpful) feedback :) Debs x
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LOL
Well I only thought of it quickly when I read your notes but by jingo I think it may just work.
I certainly concede that a bunch of floating crap is pretty disconcerting! LOL
haha Good luck Debs
x
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Pffft! too right! x
Comment from rama devi
This is fun and unique. The alliteration is impressive, though I must confess it does overpower the work. However, I think it works well as a poetic device because the theme itself is ironically melodramatic. Made me smile. I never heard of a bath bomb before. Thanks for enlightening me! Great satori line with superb word economy. Fun frolicsome fruit middle line with alliterated Efs. Fine presentation too.
Hugs,
rd
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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This is fun and unique. The alliteration is impressive, though I must confess it does overpower the work. However, I think it works well as a poetic device because the theme itself is ironically melodramatic. Made me smile. I never heard of a bath bomb before. Thanks for enlightening me! Great satori line with superb word economy. Fun frolicsome fruit middle line with alliterated Efs. Fine presentation too.
Hugs,
rd
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Thank you so much, Rama, for your lovely feedback :) Kindest regards as always, Debra
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:-)))))
Comment from Patti R.
I agree! I don't like baths in the first place, I much prefer showers. That might be due to the years and years of having to bathe with my sisters, to save water ...
But just look at all those poky bits.
There is terrific and copious alliteration in this one. You know I love alliteration!
Patti
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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I agree! I don't like baths in the first place, I much prefer showers. That might be due to the years and years of having to bathe with my sisters, to save water ...
But just look at all those poky bits.
There is terrific and copious alliteration in this one. You know I love alliteration!
Patti
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Hiya Patti :) Thank you for your great feedback! I prefer a shower too normally, for the same reason as yourself :)
I hope this reply finds you well, lovely :)
Love and best wishes, Debra
Comment from Capricorn30
Not the best way to enjoy a bath, Debra!
My daughter has used these "bombs" but I don't recall pieces floating around--at least she didnt make mention of them;
Well-penned humorous poem, good creative use of alliteration throughout describing your bathroom mishap-oh my!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Not the best way to enjoy a bath, Debra!
My daughter has used these "bombs" but I don't recall pieces floating around--at least she didnt make mention of them;
Well-penned humorous poem, good creative use of alliteration throughout describing your bathroom mishap-oh my!
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Hi Margaret :) Thank you for your great feedback! Kindest regards as always, Debra
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I've had a few of those, and I always fished out the bits. It is lovely though, and the perfume is so nice. I'm glad you are alright now and I hope that knee of yours is better too! It all happens in your house, doesn't it! Such fun times. (mostly) xsx :) Sandra
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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I've had a few of those, and I always fished out the bits. It is lovely though, and the perfume is so nice. I'm glad you are alright now and I hope that knee of yours is better too! It all happens in your house, doesn't it! Such fun times. (mostly) xsx :) Sandra
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Hiya Sandra :) Thanks for your great feedback... A couple of people who reviewed the poem came up with a great suggestion I'll share with you.... put the bath bomb in the knotted toe from an old pair of tights - that way, it works like a teabag and you get no bits in the bath! Brilliant!
My knee is fine now thanks! Yep, it all goes on here - it's a laugh a minute LOL! love Debra x
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Hey, thanks for that, Debra, what a clever idea! I can never think up things like that. :) xx
Comment from misscookie
I never heard of a bath bomb, the longer I live the more I r
learn. I'm glad you enjoy joyed it. thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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I never heard of a bath bomb, the longer I live the more I r
learn. I'm glad you enjoy joyed it. thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Thank you miss cookie :) Kindest regards as always, Debra
Comment from Lulube
I just love your home photos Debra. Are those your toys that you play with? lol
I'm not too into the bath bombs. I like a good body wash, Olay or Dove have a good one. or a good bubble bath that doesn't leave you feeling soapy.
How are you going with the 6 mandatory start ups?
I have one more to post as soon as I review enough poems. Then I can relax a tadd. lol
lulube love the alliterated lines. very expressive, good imagery.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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I just love your home photos Debra. Are those your toys that you play with? lol
I'm not too into the bath bombs. I like a good body wash, Olay or Dove have a good one. or a good bubble bath that doesn't leave you feeling soapy.
How are you going with the 6 mandatory start ups?
I have one more to post as soon as I review enough poems. Then I can relax a tadd. lol
lulube love the alliterated lines. very expressive, good imagery.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Hi Lulube :) Just done number 6 - took me ages to do those first 6, my muse has bogged off!
Thanks for your great feedback :) Love, Debs x
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I know what you mean. Right after all the stress of toydom, your brain has to bounce into words for creating with. I think some must have a small reserve for the new starts that they fill all year long.
but we made it
lulube
Comment from krys123
Debra; Chuckle! Chuckle! It sounds like your bath bomb was a interesting experience
where you would forgo the bits and pieces of floating material that somewhat disrupted your enjoyment. Thank you especially for your authors notes which help me visualize even more what you had written in your poem. The picture you used for your poem represents and is very appropriate for your poem. Thank you for sharing and posting and may the Lord be with you always Debra.
Alex
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Debra; Chuckle! Chuckle! It sounds like your bath bomb was a interesting experience
where you would forgo the bits and pieces of floating material that somewhat disrupted your enjoyment. Thank you especially for your authors notes which help me visualize even more what you had written in your poem. The picture you used for your poem represents and is very appropriate for your poem. Thank you for sharing and posting and may the Lord be with you always Debra.
Alex
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Thanks Alex :) Your feedback is always appreciated. Kind regards, Debra
Comment from Connie C
Nice picture to accompany this delightful 5-7-5 of yours, Debra. I can see why you might pick those things out of the water. I don't think I'd want them swimming around in my bath water either. I like your use of alliteration in both the second line with all those words that start with "f" and in the third line with "tub transformation." Oh, and I mustn't forget the first line either with "bath" and "bomb." A delight to read!
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Nice picture to accompany this delightful 5-7-5 of yours, Debra. I can see why you might pick those things out of the water. I don't think I'd want them swimming around in my bath water either. I like your use of alliteration in both the second line with all those words that start with "f" and in the third line with "tub transformation." Oh, and I mustn't forget the first line either with "bath" and "bomb." A delight to read!
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 16-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Thank you Connie for your great feedback :) Philippa (ClosetPoetJester) just came up with a great idea; put the bath bomb in the knotted toe of an old stocking before putting in the bath - it acts like a tea strainer so you get all the goodness and none of the floaty bits!
Love, Debra x
Comment from emrpoems
Perfect syllable count for the 5-7-5 form
Good use of alliteration in second and third lines
Good pairing of picture and poem
I agree I would prefer it without the bits but we must bear in mind it is a bomb bath
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Perfect syllable count for the 5-7-5 form
Good use of alliteration in second and third lines
Good pairing of picture and poem
I agree I would prefer it without the bits but we must bear in mind it is a bomb bath
Comment Written 16-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2015
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Thank you for your great feedback :) Kind regards, Debra