Reviews from

Ain't That The Truth

Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "senryu (grocery lines lengthen)"
Short poems poking fun at the human condition.

8 total reviews 
Comment from Charlene0513
Good
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Got the gist of what you were saying but lucky you don't have to choose. Now it's plastic bag or your own heavier, large bag with logo on it; for your own use at any time.
gro-cer-y lines length-en =6 syllables
Charlene

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    I think I mentioned in my notes that grocery can be either two or three syllables. There's a slurring of "cery" when pronouncd.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
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You have met the contest requirements nicely with this well penned piece. The topic is quite witty and timely with a solid ending. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Thank you for taking the time to read and rate. I appreciate that.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Excellent
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This is a clever senryu. Yes, senior shoppers often have a hard time making decisions - any decisions, I think. (I know because I am one of those; people may dread to get behind me in the aisles, too.) Good luck, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    Thanks, Jeanne. Appreciate the good luck wishes.
Comment from ravim
Excellent
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Funny. A very practical management problem. You've captured the essence of all the issues in the business world in one clean stroke. I love it.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2014
    What a great review. Thanks so much, ravim.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Excellent
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Hi,

Great question in a well presented work. You'd think in this day and age it would be solvable problem -- like biodegradable plastic instead of forever pollution.

Good job with this one. Best of luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax



 Comment Written 22-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
    Thanks, Jax. Appreciate that you took the time to read and comment.
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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I love this! I live near a seaside town often referred to as God's waiting room, where shoppers count out the exact change in 5c coins and all drivers drive as if they are in the age where they need someone walking in front of them with a red flag. In fact, some perhaps do - the drivers of gophers mainly! Incidentally, I was behind a tour bus the other day that carried the slogan 'Adventure before dementia'!

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
    LOL. Good one, Tony. Drives my hubby crazy (he doesn't have far to go) when old ladies s l o w l y empty their change purse to find the right coins.
reply by tfawcus on 23-Oct-2014
    I knew this one had to be you!
Comment from stroncoso1
Excellent
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Your Senryu is quite clever! I like the humorous tone of your poem and your followed the expected syllabic count for each respective line. I like the premise too of two senior shoppers arguing about using paper or plastic bags. How funny! I like it. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
    Thanks, stroncoso 1 for the great review. Glad it made you giggle.
Comment from Dawny53
Excellent
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I'm drawn to this little write because I found it funny.. liked the artwork, and I also know it's the truth and then some! It's also neat that you bring up a controversial topic at the same time.. doesn't everyone know we are supposed to bring our own or choose paper??

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
    I have three canvas totes and always forget to bring then! But then I recycle the plastic to clean the litter box and line the small wastebaskets. Thanks for reading and the fabulous review and rating.