Comment from mermaids

Excellent

Love these haiku poems about reptiles and I am especially fond of lizards. Majestic sangfroid is a wonderful last line even though I am not familiar with the word sangfroid. Your words portray the lizard as a beautiful creature that can hide and dance.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thank you indeed for reading and reviewing zanya

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

I liked your choice of words to describe that delightful creature, very appropriate in all aspects. Wonderful illustration and good luck in the contest. Faye

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thank you for reading and reviewing zanya

Comment from words

Excellent

Enjoyed your nod to the ineffable chameleon.

I used to have them as pets as a child. I found them forever fascinating.

Love your use of "sangfroid" ... a much underused word.

Hugs, d

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Delighted with this review zanya

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

This is a cute Haiku, One seldom think about reptiles mating. Your poem has a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thank for reading and reviewing zanya

reply by c_lucas on 12-Aug-2014

You're welcome, Zanya. Charlie

Comment from Kausar_Javeria

Excellent

Hello there~!
I'm not really fond of reptiles. But this poem is really good. It's well-written!
Good luck!

JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)

(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks for reading and reviewing zanya

Comment from The Death

Average

Hi, mystery poet.

Nice use of personification! I like the visual of chameleon wriggling.

Reptilian chic
sleek chameleon wriggle
majestic sangfroid

I don't see any interconnected lines here. At first, I thought you've first line as the satori, but even then there is no interconnection between the last two lines. You should revise that part. It's probably because you're trying to use many adjectives here. If you drop 'sleek', there'll be no issue.

Also, I stumbled when I saw 'majestic sangfroid'. How can the ability to remain calm under danger be large and beautiful. When you say 'chic', it already implies the creature is beautiful. Thus, it makes the poem full of abstract thoughts. There is a little imagery here, whereas a haiku should have concrete imagery.

Also, it should be 'wriggles' as you have singular 'chameleon'.

Fine use of phonetics with consonance of K sounds and assonance of I. Nice presentation! I don't want to re-write your haiku, so I would suggest you to put some action in the interconnected lines.

Please let me know if you decide to revise it later. I'll be happy to upgrade the rating.

Good luck!

Regards,
Anupam



This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks for reading and reviewing zanya

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

A cold-blooded, confident female. Is there anything better, anything more alluring to a fertile male reptile? Well, maybe a jar full of juicy fruit flies, perhaps. They always say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, LOL...

Nicely done, and best of luck to you in the contest!

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks for reading and reviewing zanya

reply by Dean Kuch on 12-Aug-2014

No sweat.:}

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Yup! What a sexy wriggle it is. LOL. Always thought chameleons were cool, in on how they change colors. Read the prompt rules which seems quite a challenge. You've met this contest perfectly. Well done! Les

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Thanks for a great review zanya

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

I love your little reptilian haiku. It is written perfectly. I love these little guys:) Good luck in the contest.
~~Teresa~~

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

THnks for a great review zanya

Comment from seaglass

Excellent

The picture resembles my iguana, Ziggy. He always turned purple when got near my maroon drapes. This poem describes the wiggly movement of these creatures.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014

Loved this review zanya