Short
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Spring Ahead"Shorter stories
18 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
The poor child will be traumatised! You managed to use all those words and put them into a credible story, not easy to do. This story shows what it's like when mum runs off. Another well written short, Bill. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
The poor child will be traumatised! You managed to use all those words and put them into a credible story, not easy to do. This story shows what it's like when mum runs off. Another well written short, Bill. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 09-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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I don't know how many times I have fallen back instead of springing ahead and ended up two hours late.
Comment from mjac777
I had to read this a few times to finally get the gist.
Funny, very relatable story of those who forget to turn their clocks ahead in spring.
Very good dialogue that helped move the story ahead.
Well written in general.
Took me awhile to get the "each it" - and said from the mouth of a child was priceless.
Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
I had to read this a few times to finally get the gist.
Funny, very relatable story of those who forget to turn their clocks ahead in spring.
Very good dialogue that helped move the story ahead.
Well written in general.
Took me awhile to get the "each it" - and said from the mouth of a child was priceless.
Well done.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you for the excellent review.
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the story. Spring-forward, Fall-backward. A little saying we memorize so we set our clocks right for Daylight Savings Time. It is one we forget every once in a while. That is when you start your day an hour late. Then everyone around you is in misery. Great work. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
I love the story. Spring-forward, Fall-backward. A little saying we memorize so we set our clocks right for Daylight Savings Time. It is one we forget every once in a while. That is when you start your day an hour late. Then everyone around you is in misery. Great work. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Nellie, for reviewing.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Cute, cute, and another cute. I am pretty sure as adults we have something better to do than play with clocks, but we do it twice a year. Your short story is a strong contest entry. Good luck.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
Cute, cute, and another cute. I am pretty sure as adults we have something better to do than play with clocks, but we do it twice a year. Your short story is a strong contest entry. Good luck.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Barbara, for the excellent review.
Comment from Supe
I hope you aren't still hungry. Cute story, well done, with all the words prescribed. Amazing how you can pull together something with so few words. Good luck.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
I hope you aren't still hungry. Cute story, well done, with all the words prescribed. Amazing how you can pull together something with so few words. Good luck.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Supe, for the excellent review.
Comment from Nosha17
That was a neat little story about that hour change. It's happened to me, too. Well narrated and enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
That was a neat little story about that hour change. It's happened to me, too. Well narrated and enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Faye, for the excellent review.
Comment from livelylinda
Author: cute story. Original in its theme. So much more understood than actually stated which is what makes these tiny stories so good. Nice writing. Should do well in the contest. livelylinda
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
Author: cute story. Original in its theme. So much more understood than actually stated which is what makes these tiny stories so good. Nice writing. Should do well in the contest. livelylinda
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Linda, for the excellent review.
Comment from Kaila Mari
A very amusing read. Good dialogue between dad and child. This short story adheres to prompt's instructions. Should do well in the contest. good luck!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
A very amusing read. Good dialogue between dad and child. This short story adheres to prompt's instructions. Should do well in the contest. good luck!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you for reviewing, Kaila.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent use of dialogue
a strong in media res opening
you incorporate the contest's required words well without forcing any in and as you observe the contest's strict word limits well
good humor
Brooke
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
Excellent use of dialogue
a strong in media res opening
you incorporate the contest's required words well without forcing any in and as you observe the contest's strict word limits well
good humor
Brooke
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Brooke, for the positive review.
Comment from Domino 2
Very clever to include these words seamlessly into your write.
Fun dialogue between dad and daughter, but I'm left with a mystery ending - which isn't always a bad thing.
I guess Mum left home in spring to run off with her lover, but I'm probably well off base.
Thought-provoking and entertaining.
Cheers, Ray
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
Very clever to include these words seamlessly into your write.
Fun dialogue between dad and daughter, but I'm left with a mystery ending - which isn't always a bad thing.
I guess Mum left home in spring to run off with her lover, but I'm probably well off base.
Thought-provoking and entertaining.
Cheers, Ray
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Domino, for the nice review.