Beware Tonight
Pantoum Sonnet contest entry38 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh my, this is absolutely chilling! What a great pantoum/sonnet - I enjoyed it very much - it creates a fearful 'ambiance' of mystery and dread! Your flow is smooth and the rhyme super. Best of luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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Oh my, this is absolutely chilling! What a great pantoum/sonnet - I enjoyed it very much - it creates a fearful 'ambiance' of mystery and dread! Your flow is smooth and the rhyme super. Best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much for the well wishes. The contest is over and there were some great entries. I was honored to receive a few votes.
I am happy you liked the "ambiance of mystery and dread" I'll take that as a great compliment. I appreciate the kind review. Debi
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It was very much my pleasure, Debi!
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a fun pantoum sonnet that deals with those playful fairies. The storyline is complete throughout and the idea of repeating lines becomes invisible.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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This is a fun pantoum sonnet that deals with those playful fairies. The storyline is complete throughout and the idea of repeating lines becomes invisible.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review, Bill. I am happy to hear you enjoyed this verse. I am flattered that you felt the repeating lines became invisible. Thank you, Debi
Comment from acerisestory
Wow! Hang on to your kids out there. I very much like the flow of your poem. Your rhyming, meter and enjambment are well done. I like the alliteration: changeling/child. Best of luck in the contest. Alana
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Wow! Hang on to your kids out there. I very much like the flow of your poem. Your rhyming, meter and enjambment are well done. I like the alliteration: changeling/child. Best of luck in the contest. Alana
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the encouraging review and well wishes, Alana. I appreciate it. Watch out for the fairies. Debi
Comment from prefabmouse
Very intriguing as well as intelligent and well read. It has an err of mystery and horror as well as the macabre. I really enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Very intriguing as well as intelligent and well read. It has an err of mystery and horror as well as the macabre. I really enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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I am happy you enjoyed this slightly haunting verse. Thank you for the encouraging comments. Debi
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
your repeat lines fall in place and flow well
your rhyme falls in line with the sonnet format
good enjambment through verses
good visual to portray your well chosen words
cheers..Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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good luck in the contest
your repeat lines fall in place and flow well
your rhyme falls in line with the sonnet format
good enjambment through verses
good visual to portray your well chosen words
cheers..Smoothiecool
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Smoothiecool. I appreciate the encouraging review and the details of your analysis. Thank you. Debi
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most welcome..SC
Comment from Bobby Jo
Scary thought for anyone with children. This is haunting. I like the picture that goes along very well with the story plat. Good work.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Scary thought for anyone with children. This is haunting. I like the picture that goes along very well with the story plat. Good work.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the kind comments, Bobby Jo. I am happy you liked it. Watch out for fairies. Debi
Comment from mfowler
This is very interesting and well written. Excellent form and language has been used to build up the eerie warning that:
Beware tonight of fairy light's mystique.
A changeling child is what the fairies seek.
I think you've managed to use the reel effectively to add detail and emotion to the basic message. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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This is very interesting and well written. Excellent form and language has been used to build up the eerie warning that:
Beware tonight of fairy light's mystique.
A changeling child is what the fairies seek.
I think you've managed to use the reel effectively to add detail and emotion to the basic message. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the good luck wishes and the encouraging comments. I am happy you liked this eerie verse. Watch out for fairies. Debi
Comment from Spitfire
Oh dear. I wouldn't read this to any child at bedtime. Scary! A condensed horror story here. In today's world, this is a good message to pass on!
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Oh dear. I wouldn't read this to any child at bedtime. Scary! A condensed horror story here. In today's world, this is a good message to pass on!
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the fun review. Yes, watch out for those fairies. Debi
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good use of the sonnet rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with tight/night. Good alliteration with changeling/child...precious/prize. Good eye catching photo followed by a clear message.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Good use of the sonnet rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with tight/night. Good alliteration with changeling/child...precious/prize. Good eye catching photo followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the detailed analysis. I appreciate the encouragement. Debi
Comment from visionary1234
This is delightful wj! I kept having flashes of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" in my head as I was reading, though I know it has nothing to do with stealing little ones, but the 'fairy' atmosphere you create is quite lovely here. Good luck in this - I love the pantoum form, don't you?
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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This is delightful wj! I kept having flashes of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" in my head as I was reading, though I know it has nothing to do with stealing little ones, but the 'fairy' atmosphere you create is quite lovely here. Good luck in this - I love the pantoum form, don't you?
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Hi Sharyn,
You are more right than you think. In "A Midsummer Night's Dream" Titania and Oberon, the fairy queen and king, are fighting over the possession of a human boy--he is most likely a changeling or going to be one. He is the child of one of Titania's handmaids. In some stories the fairies will also take a human mother. It could be quite the backstory to this tale...
Thank you for the wonderful review and good luck wishes. I am happy you enjoyed reading this poem and the fairy atmosphere.
Pantoums are a bit challenging, and maybe that is why I like them.
Thank you for stopping by and watch out for fairies.
Debi
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Okay, I actually did a little more research. I was close--the fairies are fighting over a changeling and that is what starts the action. Only, Oberon wants Tatiania to give him her changeling as a servant (so the changeling child is not a baby, but has grown) and she refuses. That's when Oberon decides to get even with Titiania and all the fairy fun begins.
