A love that Shines
The glow of love.....9 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Your description of a love that leaves no doubt of its magnificent grasp on the loved one. Thanks for the very nice read.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Your description of a love that leaves no doubt of its magnificent grasp on the loved one. Thanks for the very nice read.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your excellent review and kind comments.
So glad you enjoyed the poem.....harmony13
Comment from Nomar Chagrin
What a light-hearted depiction of love this is. I felt good and peaceful throughout the entire poem.
I particularly liked the line: Love fills the room with hints of bold brightness." Good job.
~ Marv
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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What a light-hearted depiction of love this is. I felt good and peaceful throughout the entire poem.
I particularly liked the line: Love fills the room with hints of bold brightness." Good job.
~ Marv
Comment Written 03-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your excellent review and kind comments.
So glad you enjoyed the poem.....harmony13
Comment from Treischel
A very pretty romantic love poem with lovely repeated last lines and loads of alliteration. Very bright colors that shine forth like a beacon of that love you describe.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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A very pretty romantic love poem with lovely repeated last lines and loads of alliteration. Very bright colors that shine forth like a beacon of that love you describe.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and great comments.
Glad you liked the poem. Happy Thanksgiving, harmony13
Comment from krys123
This poem well reflects the romantic passion that is definitely portrayed to the words and lines of this poem. The imagery of the white wine symbols to purity of love or the kindness of kittens which shows the new birth of one's love that softens the desires. The rhyming was done very well in either of the rhymes were forced, labored or strained. Thank you for sharing this with everyone. You have a good one.
AK
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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This poem well reflects the romantic passion that is definitely portrayed to the words and lines of this poem. The imagery of the white wine symbols to purity of love or the kindness of kittens which shows the new birth of one's love that softens the desires. The rhyming was done very well in either of the rhymes were forced, labored or strained. Thank you for sharing this with everyone. You have a good one.
AK
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much for this excellent review and the exceptional
comments. So glad you enjoyed the poem......harmony13
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You are so very welcome
Comment from boxergirl
A love that shines - is the good kind and you have
described it well in your ABAB poem structure.
I especially like the first line when it talks about feeling a connection because that's where it all starts.
Nice alliteration with kitten's kindness; spiritual sign; bold brightness, deeply divine.
I also like the repetition of the last line in each stanza.
Good job! BG 8-)
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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A love that shines - is the good kind and you have
described it well in your ABAB poem structure.
I especially like the first line when it talks about feeling a connection because that's where it all starts.
Nice alliteration with kitten's kindness; spiritual sign; bold brightness, deeply divine.
I also like the repetition of the last line in each stanza.
Good job! BG 8-)
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much for this excellent review and the exceptional
comments. So glad you enjoyed the poem......harmony13
Comment from Capricorn30
I greatly admire the yellow background, finely complementing the well-crafted poetry;
Nice alliteration=="kitten's kindness"; "backyard brook"--my favorite lines;
Love need not always be represented in red as bright illumination reflects strong emotions also.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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I greatly admire the yellow background, finely complementing the well-crafted poetry;
Nice alliteration=="kitten's kindness"; "backyard brook"--my favorite lines;
Love need not always be represented in red as bright illumination reflects strong emotions also.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much for the excellent review and great feedback and comments. So glad you enjoyed the poem....harmony13
Comment from Introspection
There is some good diction here, but the sentiment feels a little hackneyed. I am not sure whether or not you are trying to rhyme the first and third line of each stanza, but the half-rhymes you have used kind of grate against the harmonious imagery. I would much prefer full rhymes on these lines. Lines two and three of the last stanza sit slightly awkwardly.
I like the sparkliness of the poem - the words glow, shine, reflects, brightness, and illuminates are nice. This is a warm piece, reflecting that magical feeling of closeness you get in the early stages of true love. I like the repetition at the end of each stanza.
Overall, a nice, well-written poem.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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There is some good diction here, but the sentiment feels a little hackneyed. I am not sure whether or not you are trying to rhyme the first and third line of each stanza, but the half-rhymes you have used kind of grate against the harmonious imagery. I would much prefer full rhymes on these lines. Lines two and three of the last stanza sit slightly awkwardly.
I like the sparkliness of the poem - the words glow, shine, reflects, brightness, and illuminates are nice. This is a warm piece, reflecting that magical feeling of closeness you get in the early stages of true love. I like the repetition at the end of each stanza.
Overall, a nice, well-written poem.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Thank you for your review and your excellent detailed comments. The rhyming is the 1 and 3 lines and the 2 and 4. I will re-look at the rhyming. I just changed it to have all the lines have 10 syllables so that the meter is better. If you get a chance please go back and read it now.
Also welcome to Fanstory - I look forward to reviewing your work.
Thanks again, harmony13
Comment from caveman.dave
Hi there,
Beautiful theme for your poem here. I liked it a lot.
The repeated last line in each stanza is like a prayer of love.
I feel that this poem could be made very strong by sharpening up the meter slightly.
For example, the first stanza has a syllabic count of 11, 12, 9, 10.
The second has 9, 11, 9, 10
The third has 11, 12, 11, 10.
My suggestion is to think about bringing each into line with the same count, say 11, 12, 9, 10 - based on the first stanza.
The second verse could perhaps start with, "This love is akin to a kitten's kindness, A gift that's reflecting a spiritual sign". This would give it an 11, 12 count.
The last stanza could fall into line by removing backyard from the third line.
These are just small comments, as overall I really enjoyed the message of your poem. Thanks for writing it! Dave
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Hi there,
Beautiful theme for your poem here. I liked it a lot.
The repeated last line in each stanza is like a prayer of love.
I feel that this poem could be made very strong by sharpening up the meter slightly.
For example, the first stanza has a syllabic count of 11, 12, 9, 10.
The second has 9, 11, 9, 10
The third has 11, 12, 11, 10.
My suggestion is to think about bringing each into line with the same count, say 11, 12, 9, 10 - based on the first stanza.
The second verse could perhaps start with, "This love is akin to a kitten's kindness, A gift that's reflecting a spiritual sign". This would give it an 11, 12 count.
The last stanza could fall into line by removing backyard from the third line.
These are just small comments, as overall I really enjoyed the message of your poem. Thanks for writing it! Dave
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much for this excellent review and great feedback!
I will work on sharpening the meter as you suggested.
Have a great day!.....harmony13
Comment from tbacha58
Brightness illuminates wherever one looks
Body, mind and soul, lovers celebrate with wine
Reflections glow sitting by the backyard brook
This is a love that is deeply divine
Hello, what an amazing glowing poem, beautiful the picture and your poem. Whoa , beautiful is the divine, the rhyming is incredible. Well done. Hugs Terry
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Brightness illuminates wherever one looks
Body, mind and soul, lovers celebrate with wine
Reflections glow sitting by the backyard brook
This is a love that is deeply divine
Hello, what an amazing glowing poem, beautiful the picture and your poem. Whoa , beautiful is the divine, the rhyming is incredible. Well done. Hugs Terry
Comment Written 22-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much for the excellent review and great feedback.
Have a wonderful day!...harmony13