All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Puzzling Pieces"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
84 total reviews
Comment from josieg521
Beautiful description of life at its worst and best. Free verse is an interesting aspect of poetry because it reads like a story. I enjoyed it even though I'm not sure what the purpose of free verse is.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Beautiful description of life at its worst and best. Free verse is an interesting aspect of poetry because it reads like a story. I enjoyed it even though I'm not sure what the purpose of free verse is.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Thanks Josie - do some reading on free verse, because it really is a very beautiful poetic form, often very rich in assonance, internal rhyming and alliteration (you'll see those poetic devices especially at the end of the first verse). :)Sharyn
Comment from marijmd
Out of all your poems I have read - I must say that this one is my favorite. I love the breakdown of the different times in your life and the reflections about those times. Well done!
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Out of all your poems I have read - I must say that this one is my favorite. I love the breakdown of the different times in your life and the reflections about those times. Well done!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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wow! thank you SO much for saying something so wonderful AND for the lovely six! Now I have a VERY swelled head indeed my dear!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Gungalo
Ours are but ephemeral footprints in the sand
as earth spins, sea surges and wind rearranges
all
those
puzzling
pieces
Not so bad at all girl. Your puzzling pieces add up to a whole you. You and who you think you are. Wonderful and very telling.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Ours are but ephemeral footprints in the sand
as earth spins, sea surges and wind rearranges
all
those
puzzling
pieces
Not so bad at all girl. Your puzzling pieces add up to a whole you. You and who you think you are. Wonderful and very telling.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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you've got it, Gungalo - you and who you think you are - right on! :)Sharyn
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Smile girl.
Comment from Maustin
"I have time, now, to love, hardly noticing
my own drying up blood-red biology
leaving but a thin-skin shell of bone, beating heart...."
A very powerful free-verse you created. These lines here are moving. The artwork is so fitting for this piece. Good write.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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"I have time, now, to love, hardly noticing
my own drying up blood-red biology
leaving but a thin-skin shell of bone, beating heart...."
A very powerful free-verse you created. These lines here are moving. The artwork is so fitting for this piece. Good write.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much Maustin!:)Sharyn
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So welcome, Sharyn... .)
Comment from DALLAS01
This format reminds me very much of haibun, which I love. The movement through the time periods is so smooth it is like waltzing on a lake of glass. Each stanza literally melts into the next and flows down the canvas in blazing images.
Ours are but ephemeral footprints in the sand
as earth spins, sea surges and wind rearranges
all
those
puzzling
pieces
Nice piece of ribbon to wrap it up.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
|
This format reminds me very much of haibun, which I love. The movement through the time periods is so smooth it is like waltzing on a lake of glass. Each stanza literally melts into the next and flows down the canvas in blazing images.
Ours are but ephemeral footprints in the sand
as earth spins, sea surges and wind rearranges
all
those
puzzling
pieces
Nice piece of ribbon to wrap it up.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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"waltzing on a lake of glass" - I've never read such a wonderfully poetic review my dear - thank you SO much, and another thank you for the "nice piece of ribbon" to accompany it. So much appreciated!
:)Sharyn
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You're welcome.
Comment from Creative77
Wow, what a powerful piece of writing! You've told quite a detailed story here. Your words flow so smoothly. Also, the picture you chose is very unique. Excellent job!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Wow, what a powerful piece of writing! You've told quite a detailed story here. Your words flow so smoothly. Also, the picture you chose is very unique. Excellent job!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
Thanks so much C77! :)Sharyn
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Your grew up in Australia, wow,and now you live in Hawaii? very interesting..I'm sure you have much to write about. Your picture portrays you as such a fun loving person. Great piece. God loves you and so do I.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Your grew up in Australia, wow,and now you live in Hawaii? very interesting..I'm sure you have much to write about. Your picture portrays you as such a fun loving person. Great piece. God loves you and so do I.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Bless you, Evelyn - I married a Californian, and persuaded him to move a little more in my direction dear! He was sweet enough to do it!!! what a guy, hmm?
Blessings, as ever,
Sharyn
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Sharyn,
You have written a marvelous poem about your life from the beginning to now. At first I thought it was too long but once I began to read I couldn't stop. I like your well chosen words as they are expressive and compelling. You have used poetic devices like alliteration and enjambments. The flow is smooth and the theme is excellent. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Hi Sharyn,
You have written a marvelous poem about your life from the beginning to now. At first I thought it was too long but once I began to read I couldn't stop. I like your well chosen words as they are expressive and compelling. You have used poetic devices like alliteration and enjambments. The flow is smooth and the theme is excellent. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 23-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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thx so much chey - I couldn't make it any shorter, sorry!!! but I'm glad you hung in there and enjoyed it! ;)Sharyn
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is a whirlwind of what sounds like spontansous free association but probably took much planning. It is full of poignant references and interesting, descriptive details. Love and blessings, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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This is a whirlwind of what sounds like spontansous free association but probably took much planning. It is full of poignant references and interesting, descriptive details. Love and blessings, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 23-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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thank you Jeanie! :)Sharyn
Comment from jppoet
SORRY, I DON'T LIKE THIS. IT IS TOO MORBID, TOO FULL OF SELF-PITY, WITH NOT THE SLIGHEST TWINKLE OF A POSITIVE WORD HOPE, JOY OR LOVE. YOUR REFLECTIONS ARE THOSE OF SOMEONE CONDEMNED BY SOME AWFUL MALAISE. LIFE AND HEALTH ARE PRECIOUS GIFTS TO BE GLORIFIED DURING THE SOJOURNS OF OUR SHORT LIVES HERE. IT IS OBVIOUS YOU ARE A SUPERB WRITER,MAYBE EVEN A GOOD POETESS. IN THE HOPE THAT YOU WROTE THIS IN SOME DARK HOUR, I WILL REVIEW YOUR
PORTFOLIO. MEANTIME, --FOR A LAUGH-- YOU MIGHT LIKE MY POEM "CURSE ON AN ADVERSE VIRUS". BLESSINGS, OHN
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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SORRY, I DON'T LIKE THIS. IT IS TOO MORBID, TOO FULL OF SELF-PITY, WITH NOT THE SLIGHEST TWINKLE OF A POSITIVE WORD HOPE, JOY OR LOVE. YOUR REFLECTIONS ARE THOSE OF SOMEONE CONDEMNED BY SOME AWFUL MALAISE. LIFE AND HEALTH ARE PRECIOUS GIFTS TO BE GLORIFIED DURING THE SOJOURNS OF OUR SHORT LIVES HERE. IT IS OBVIOUS YOU ARE A SUPERB WRITER,MAYBE EVEN A GOOD POETESS. IN THE HOPE THAT YOU WROTE THIS IN SOME DARK HOUR, I WILL REVIEW YOUR
PORTFOLIO. MEANTIME, --FOR A LAUGH-- YOU MIGHT LIKE MY POEM "CURSE ON AN ADVERSE VIRUS". BLESSINGS, OHN
Comment Written 23-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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And as I just got 3 x 6 star reviews for t his one this morning, I think you may like to re-read this one and when you review, please do so in a civilized, well balanced fashion if you would. Sounds like you're smokin' honey.