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Viewing comments for Chapter 62 "His Nemeses"Shorter stories
12 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a brilliant twist at the end! I'd never have guessed it was Seymour who had been having the affair. But, there were some clues in this one, which I didn't pick up on. How both had said they never liked the other one to Ogden. Brilliant!! :)) Sandra
reply by the author on 14-May-2022
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What a brilliant twist at the end! I'd never have guessed it was Seymour who had been having the affair. But, there were some clues in this one, which I didn't pick up on. How both had said they never liked the other one to Ogden. Brilliant!! :)) Sandra
Comment Written 14-May-2022
reply by the author on 14-May-2022
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Thank you, Sandra. At the time, I was afraid it was too long.
Comment from GeraldS
This is an interesting story, with a nice twist to tie up the plot at the end. The storyline seemed to be well thought out with all the bits and pieces well integrated into the narrative. The only weakness in my mind was the believability of Ogden's recruitment of Seymour to kill Butch. But, that is a small point that most readers will be likely to overlook. This seems a pretty good tale of revenge. I wish this piece well in the judging.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013
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This is an interesting story, with a nice twist to tie up the plot at the end. The storyline seemed to be well thought out with all the bits and pieces well integrated into the narrative. The only weakness in my mind was the believability of Ogden's recruitment of Seymour to kill Butch. But, that is a small point that most readers will be likely to overlook. This seems a pretty good tale of revenge. I wish this piece well in the judging.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013
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Thank you for reviewing. It received zero votes. Perhaps the Seymour recruitment was too accommodating.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Very clever plot and well written too. As friends, they trusted each other, and the reader was led to believe that Butch had been the only one guilty of anything... right to the end. Good job.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Very clever plot and well written too. As friends, they trusted each other, and the reader was led to believe that Butch had been the only one guilty of anything... right to the end. Good job.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from gypsycaravan
Oh my goodness. What tangled tales we weave. That was definitely a good twist at the end. You wrote the plot well. The names of your characters kind of did it for me.They seemed like villains from a 1920 silent film instead of a modern day tale, Nicely done.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Oh my goodness. What tangled tales we weave. That was definitely a good twist at the end. You wrote the plot well. The names of your characters kind of did it for me.They seemed like villains from a 1920 silent film instead of a modern day tale, Nicely done.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from elliejean
I love the revenge. He got two for the price of one. It was a real shock when the bully did not go down. The friendship started with the bully and ended with him. Life goes in circles. Great work.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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I love the revenge. He got two for the price of one. It was a real shock when the bully did not go down. The friendship started with the bully and ended with him. Life goes in circles. Great work.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Thank you for your terrific review.
Comment from alexisleech
That was an excellent story of revenge. It's amazing how the deceit from a friend or loved one can inspire pure hatred. What better than to get rid of two bad guys in one sitting, leaving no evidence to incriminate yourself! Well done, and good luck in the competition.
Alexis x
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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That was an excellent story of revenge. It's amazing how the deceit from a friend or loved one can inspire pure hatred. What better than to get rid of two bad guys in one sitting, leaving no evidence to incriminate yourself! Well done, and good luck in the competition.
Alexis x
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging review.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Guess what. I suspected Seymore was the lover! How sad. Ogden got rid of two problems at once. A clever write! I just always look for that twist to a story. Good luck with the contest. This is a good story> Nancy
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Guess what. I suspected Seymore was the lover! How sad. Ogden got rid of two problems at once. A clever write! I just always look for that twist to a story. Good luck with the contest. This is a good story> Nancy
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Thank you for reading and reviewing this story.
Comment from adewpearl
waiting for the Connor's Bar to close - I would delete "the"
You set the stage well in your opening paragraph
little help from Seymour, who - add comma
little input from Beatrice, who
laws protect the mentally disturbed but allow them to be employed as bouncers? That is a great example of legislation gone bad
Lots of complex interrelationships going on here in this story of murder and betrayal Brooke
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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waiting for the Connor's Bar to close - I would delete "the"
You set the stage well in your opening paragraph
little help from Seymour, who - add comma
little input from Beatrice, who
laws protect the mentally disturbed but allow them to be employed as bouncers? That is a great example of legislation gone bad
Lots of complex interrelationships going on here in this story of murder and betrayal Brooke
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Commas are my curse. I made Ogden a lawyer so figured he'e look for a legal way to get rid of Butch first. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Good general fiction, thoughtful, realistic and can easily relate to this as a reader. Good plot and well conceived characters base too.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Good general fiction, thoughtful, realistic and can easily relate to this as a reader. Good plot and well conceived characters base too.
ola thomas
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this story about the man who got rid of two people in his life. i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest
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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this story about the man who got rid of two people in his life. i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging review.