REVENGE SERVED FROZEN
FICTION REVENGE STORY4 total reviews
Comment from J. Dark
This is a superb competition entry. It is well written and your punctuation is excellent. You have a good balance of dialogue and description, but best of all, you tell a good and entertaining story with a touch of charm and wit. Well done - you have fulfilled the competition brief brilliantly and this makes for entertaining reading. I love that ending.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :-)
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013
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This is a superb competition entry. It is well written and your punctuation is excellent. You have a good balance of dialogue and description, but best of all, you tell a good and entertaining story with a touch of charm and wit. Well done - you have fulfilled the competition brief brilliantly and this makes for entertaining reading. I love that ending.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :-)
Comment Written 19-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2013
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Thank you Julie, for your kind review. It got no-where in the comp. But never mind... Mel.
Comment from elliejean
I love the frozen revenge. Your neighbor drive you nutty, you return the favor. Besieged by UFO's in Jersey would make a believer out of me.I lived with the Jersey Devil. Great work.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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I love the frozen revenge. Your neighbor drive you nutty, you return the favor. Besieged by UFO's in Jersey would make a believer out of me.I lived with the Jersey Devil. Great work.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Thank you elliejean, for your kind review. I wonder who you mean? Regards ***
Comment from bkretz_
Funny and clever fiction, man! It is quickly and easy to read, and besides that, you were pretty creative... You brought a strong word as revenge to a light and fun context.
But I can see some mistakes that you should edit as:
"My neighbor, is a miserable sod...", I guess there's no comma here!
"Did Frank, tell you about the planning application?", again the comma!
I say as I gave him a generous measure into a glass.", I guess should be: I said as I gave him, ah? And these last quotes...
Well, I'm just trying to help you, but nice story indeed. Take another look at your writing and good luck!! Big hug
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Funny and clever fiction, man! It is quickly and easy to read, and besides that, you were pretty creative... You brought a strong word as revenge to a light and fun context.
But I can see some mistakes that you should edit as:
"My neighbor, is a miserable sod...", I guess there's no comma here!
"Did Frank, tell you about the planning application?", again the comma!
I say as I gave him a generous measure into a glass.", I guess should be: I said as I gave him, ah? And these last quotes...
Well, I'm just trying to help you, but nice story indeed. Take another look at your writing and good luck!! Big hug
Comment Written 18-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
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Thank you bkretz, for your kind review and help. These have been seen to. Mel.
Comment from Sapphirethief
It was very amusing. I liked the detail. I could really imagine the neighbor and I feel kind of sorry for him when his wife finds out. Because they always do lol.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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It was very amusing. I liked the detail. I could really imagine the neighbor and I feel kind of sorry for him when his wife finds out. Because they always do lol.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Thank you Sapphirethief, for your kind review...***