Autumn
A chill in the air says Autumn.6 total reviews
Comment from poetstar
I AM SO IMPRESSED WITH THIS POEM. I just love it all. Every word is so true of Autumn, and you did this with such unique
flair. I have never heard fall described in such a good way.
Some people write poems with line after line of description on how wonderful fall is. You said it all in so few words. Thanks for sharing your time and talents with this precious seasonal haiku. Love Vonnie
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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I AM SO IMPRESSED WITH THIS POEM. I just love it all. Every word is so true of Autumn, and you did this with such unique
flair. I have never heard fall described in such a good way.
Some people write poems with line after line of description on how wonderful fall is. You said it all in so few words. Thanks for sharing your time and talents with this precious seasonal haiku. Love Vonnie
Comment Written 08-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Vonnie, I appreciate this genuine review of encouragement and detailed help. LOL, donnadiann
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I just love it. Vonnie
Comment from jshep
Hi, Donnadiann.
The sentiments in your haiku are just lovely. Also especiall like autumn's draft chills.
I might suggest in haiku there is no punctuation so you could eliminate the comma. Also in standard haiku there are two connecting lines and a satori. I find your haiku is three continuous lines. The final line does make a great satori. I would just alter the second line. Maybe with eliminating the 'and' you could say something like":
when autumn's draft chills
furry friends rummage for food
embers warm the air
I certainly do not wish to rewrite just offering suggestions for this type of format when you write in the future.
Truly an excellent effort and best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Hi, Donnadiann.
The sentiments in your haiku are just lovely. Also especiall like autumn's draft chills.
I might suggest in haiku there is no punctuation so you could eliminate the comma. Also in standard haiku there are two connecting lines and a satori. I find your haiku is three continuous lines. The final line does make a great satori. I would just alter the second line. Maybe with eliminating the 'and' you could say something like":
when autumn's draft chills
furry friends rummage for food
embers warm the air
I certainly do not wish to rewrite just offering suggestions for this type of format when you write in the future.
Truly an excellent effort and best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Taken with the best--I do appreciate this and I'll look at it again:)
Comment from kiwigirl2821
A lovely write of what is to come in the coming months with this beauty. You have described perfectly what a beautiful autumn day is. Good luck in your contest. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2012
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A lovely write of what is to come in the coming months with this beauty. You have described perfectly what a beautiful autumn day is. Good luck in your contest. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 06-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2012
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Hi Kiwi, good to hear from you--seems I'm not on FS much anymore, gotta get busy. Thanks for such an encouraging and helpful review. Have a good day:
Comment from c_lucas
So true we lose Summer's heat almost over night. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very godo read.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2012
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So true we lose Summer's heat almost over night. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very godo read.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2012
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Thank you very much for such a well thought and helpful review:)
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You're welcome, Donna. Charlie
Comment from Bindu Saxena
True.Simply stated. Nice haiku.Fabulous fall picture.When you talked about furry, I was reminded of children's writing on anthropomorphic characters,they so much love.
Nice haiku to be read out to kids.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2012
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True.Simply stated. Nice haiku.Fabulous fall picture.When you talked about furry, I was reminded of children's writing on anthropomorphic characters,they so much love.
Nice haiku to be read out to kids.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2012
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I really appreciate this and I'm glad it is good for kids as well:)
Comment from l.raven
This is so cute. It is that time of the season. the squrils gather their nuts and the colors are just beautiful. Your wording is perfect and your picture is stuning. Well done!! I love Autumn.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2012
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This is so cute. It is that time of the season. the squrils gather their nuts and the colors are just beautiful. Your wording is perfect and your picture is stuning. Well done!! I love Autumn.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2012
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Thanks so much for such a thoughtful review:)