Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Woogle, Giki and the Mistbow"A collection of my poems
26 total reviews
Comment from kiwigirl2821
This is a glorious piece of writing Steveh. I've never experienced what you are talking about, maybe they don't happen on the south island. I love the linguist appeal to this one to. Go Kiwi! xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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This is a glorious piece of writing Steveh. I've never experienced what you are talking about, maybe they don't happen on the south island. I love the linguist appeal to this one to. Go Kiwi! xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Thank you - just have to be in the right place at the right time I think, but this is the first one I've seen in sixty years...
Steve
Comment from Chris Petersen
Strong storyline that captivates and holds the reader's interest throughout. Strong rhyming couplets enhance the work. Great notes to help those unfamiliar with the jargon used in the piece.
Overall and excellent write. Chris. :-)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Strong storyline that captivates and holds the reader's interest throughout. Strong rhyming couplets enhance the work. Great notes to help those unfamiliar with the jargon used in the piece.
Overall and excellent write. Chris. :-)
Comment Written 28-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Thanks, Chris.
Steve
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Kiwisteveh ....
I really enjoyed your well-written poem about the Mistbow which I have never heard of before. It is just on a year since I spent two weeks in your beautiful country and thankfully there was rain when it was truly needed - when some dry old trees collapsed on a bank opposite my son's home and the impact caused a fire.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Hullo Kiwisteveh ....
I really enjoyed your well-written poem about the Mistbow which I have never heard of before. It is just on a year since I spent two weeks in your beautiful country and thankfully there was rain when it was truly needed - when some dry old trees collapsed on a bank opposite my son's home and the impact caused a fire.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Thank you, Nanette Mary.
Steve
Comment from jackpeg
Delightfully rhythmic and sprightly. Mostly anapestic feet, leaping like Spring lambs. Have to admit, I'm lost on the terms, "Jandals" and "ROY G. BIV" until explained in your notes. But I'll bet your Kiwi pals weren't stumped. Good luck in the contest. It's got my vote.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Delightfully rhythmic and sprightly. Mostly anapestic feet, leaping like Spring lambs. Have to admit, I'm lost on the terms, "Jandals" and "ROY G. BIV" until explained in your notes. But I'll bet your Kiwi pals weren't stumped. Good luck in the contest. It's got my vote.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Thank you - lots of those spring lambs about at the moment. Actually it's spring calves we can see leaping and racing about out our kitchen window.
Steve
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Steve,
Crikey, mate! SWMBO??? you're a brave one. Mind you, I have one too.
Excellent execution of iambs and anapaests to create a racy cadence. Regarding your NICE mists, I can recall some pretty dark, dank, miserable fogs, but nostalgia is a funny thing.
Reg
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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Dear Steve,
Crikey, mate! SWMBO??? you're a brave one. Mind you, I have one too.
Excellent execution of iambs and anapaests to create a racy cadence. Regarding your NICE mists, I can recall some pretty dark, dank, miserable fogs, but nostalgia is a funny thing.
Reg
Comment Written 28-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2012
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What SWMBO doesn't know won't hurt her!
Your memories are probably of the south island - they don't know how to do decent weather down there - I am in the winterless north!
Steve
Comment from nomi338
Wow! When I read your poem I thought, he must be making this up or else he's had a few too many sips. As it turns out you are dead on with this account and because you are I am more the wiser. For this I thank you, as I accept and welcome all new knowledge. As to your poem, not bad, as an American steeped in our particular manner of speech, some of the words and phrases caused me to stumble a bit, but I was able to get through it and I found it to be more than enjoyable, I found it to be quite good.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Wow! When I read your poem I thought, he must be making this up or else he's had a few too many sips. As it turns out you are dead on with this account and because you are I am more the wiser. For this I thank you, as I accept and welcome all new knowledge. As to your poem, not bad, as an American steeped in our particular manner of speech, some of the words and phrases caused me to stumble a bit, but I was able to get through it and I found it to be more than enjoyable, I found it to be quite good.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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What moi? make things up?!
Thanks for the nice review.
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
solid rhyming couplets
I love the alliteration and flow in misty, moisty morning
really good fanciful description of the rainbow like a curvy big banana
good proximate internal rhyme of guess the rest
I'm loving the passage about geeky speak
This is absolutely delightful, Steve :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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solid rhyming couplets
I love the alliteration and flow in misty, moisty morning
really good fanciful description of the rainbow like a curvy big banana
good proximate internal rhyme of guess the rest
I'm loving the passage about geeky speak
This is absolutely delightful, Steve :-) Brooke
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This is terrific, Steve... amusing to the nth degree. Your author notes are great and the whole thing is most entertaining. Your quatrains are constructed so well with good meter for a ton of syllables. Good luck in the context. Giddy
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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This is terrific, Steve... amusing to the nth degree. Your author notes are great and the whole thing is most entertaining. Your quatrains are constructed so well with good meter for a ton of syllables. Good luck in the context. Giddy
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thanks for the great review and the six stars - quatrain contests are so vague - who knows what they will give the prize to?
Steve
Comment from Sally Carter
Gotta be a 6, Steve. Funny and informative, plus great meter and rhyme. What more could a reader ask?
So many lines I enjoyed that I really couldn't list them all.
"Jandalled" - never heard of that before. I thought you were back into the made up stuff. I want a pair of jandals! What a great picture that verse paints.
Clever inclusion of ROY G BIV!
Love SWMBO.
And clever inclusion of the two knowledgeable friends.
So many funny poems miss out on meter etc, but this doesn't falter. Really excellent, and how good it would be to see a funny win this contest.
Thanks for the smiles (and the new info).
Sally
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Gotta be a 6, Steve. Funny and informative, plus great meter and rhyme. What more could a reader ask?
So many lines I enjoyed that I really couldn't list them all.
"Jandalled" - never heard of that before. I thought you were back into the made up stuff. I want a pair of jandals! What a great picture that verse paints.
Clever inclusion of ROY G BIV!
Love SWMBO.
And clever inclusion of the two knowledgeable friends.
So many funny poems miss out on meter etc, but this doesn't falter. Really excellent, and how good it would be to see a funny win this contest.
Thanks for the smiles (and the new info).
Sally
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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So what do you Poms wear on your feet at the beach in summer - or is it too cold to go to the beach or have summer??!
Not really sure what the judges look for in a quatrain contest - it's so vague - I guess deep and meaningful is probably the way to go.
Thanks for all the stars!
Steve
Comment from Dawn Munro
This is a charming, well-metered and lovely rhymed poem with a fascinating topic. I thoroughly enjoyed every word, and especially liked the 'friends' being considered so knowledgeable. Lots of fun!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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This is a charming, well-metered and lovely rhymed poem with a fascinating topic. I thoroughly enjoyed every word, and especially liked the 'friends' being considered so knowledgeable. Lots of fun!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thanks, Dawn - seems even at my age there's lots to learn about simple, natural things.
Steve