Reviews from

The Heir Apparent

Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Why Did Alfina Lie?"
A family learns their father is a serial killer

18 total reviews 
Comment from CALLAHANMR
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Hi Valerie:)
My health is still not back to normal, but now that Marilyn's cataract surgery is over, I will have time to write and review again.

This is an interesting chapter that starts out with Mr. Hurley in a pleasant mood as everything seemed to be improving for the Mathews family, then Mac came with a bad attitude and bad news. Grandmother appears to have lied about Dark's death. According to the Medical Examiner, Dark died from a stab wound, not the defensive blow that grandmother delivered to his head, but a subsequent stab wound. With this important omission from grandmother's statement, it now appears that Dark's death is murder. This omission will invalidate Grandmother's statement and destroys her use as a witness to Anne Marie's murder.

Now Mac wants James and Mr. Hurley to talk to Grandmother and her doctors to learn if she is mentally competent to seek and explanation for her lie.

now I wonder if perhaps John Mathews assisted in the murder of is Grandfather/ Nothing else makes much sense to me with the present evidence.

Great writing once again, so I;m sending you some more healing Irish hugs to give you strength.

Roger

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2012
    You picked up on Dad's possible connection to Dark's murder. The only one that really knows what happened is Alfina. They need to speak with her and also make sure they can prove she is competent. Thanks for the great review.
Comment from psalmist
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I love complications and hurdles in stories, questions that need answers, problems that need to be resolved. You have all this and more. Keeps me interested and wanting more, and not wanting to stop and have to wait for the next chapter. Well done. Linda

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012
    Thanks. I am so pleased you like the way his is going.
Comment from RebelRose
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Sounds like bad news all around but I am waiting to see what the reason is for the lie. I have my own theory (of course) but will wait and see. Another great and enjoyable chapter. I did find one small nit.

expecially what ...especially

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 04-Apr-2012
    Thanks for catching the spag. I hope to post another chapter today.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
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Another brilliant chapter Smurphy. You have tightened and expanded this story in exactly the right manner for it is a joy to read and glides the reader right down through the page. Every word of it is fantastic. Bravo. xoxo deborah

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thank you very much. I am so pleased you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
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6 paragraphs from end... [of] the Medical Examiners Report,
Yes, Mr Hurley makes an impressive character. Sasha, you are a master manipulator of the unexpected!! Giddy

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thanks for catching that. I am glad you like Mr. Hurley.
Comment from Alaskastory
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'Why Did Alfina Lie?' is a chapter that opens even more questions. Frustration by Mac is well shown by his actions and dialogue.
This piece is well written, Sasha.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    I've been in a room filled with frustrated detectives, it is not a pretty site and you need earplugs to block out the foul language. Glad you liked this chapter.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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Very interesting twist.

The medical examiner found a stab wound to the chest is what did the trick." (This reads choppy, you may want to reword it.)

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Yes, it does. I'll go back and fix that. Thanks
Comment from Showboat
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Hi Sasha,

Good chapter here, as always. I can't wait until Susan and Martha both get home so everyone can begin to heal. Frankly, if they never get to prove that John killed Marie, everyone knows he did it, so life in prison is still life in prison.

Still, I know the thirst for revenge is strong and understandable, so I can see why it's important for closure.

Can't wait for the next one!

Hugs,
Gayle

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    James isn't looking for revenge but the truth and justice his father deserves. I am pleased you liked this chapter.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
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More intrigue.. now we find
that Alfina lied, but why??

the paragraph starting...
James, the term... is double-lined spacing which is not in keeping witht he others. Evil Eddie???
I see he's messed with your author notes also...

I couldn't even get into site until 3 this afternoon... something has been causing problems.

Margaret

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    I had the same problem. I hope it is finally fixed. Thanks for pointing out Evil Eddie's at it again. I am working on answering that question right now....
Comment from InterestingRon
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Hi Smurphy
A good chapter that fills in a few family history gaps.
I also think you achieved a perfect word count for FanStory consumption. I think a lot of folks on this site skip your work if it looks too long.
Ron

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
    Thanks. I agree. Many just don't want to take the time needed to read something they see as too long.