The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "The Red Dress chapter forty-eight."The story of a teenage girl
15 total reviews
Comment from G.B. Smith
Alright Alexis
I am certain there is a reason Nick and prick rhyme. He is loonier than a tune and in that, it is hard to predict his thinking. He's just as soon kill each of them than lose her. I am tired of hanging on this frigging cliff. I am old, and fat, and can't take too much excitement. Put me out of my misery pretty soon
Bear
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
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Alright Alexis
I am certain there is a reason Nick and prick rhyme. He is loonier than a tune and in that, it is hard to predict his thinking. He's just as soon kill each of them than lose her. I am tired of hanging on this frigging cliff. I am old, and fat, and can't take too much excitement. Put me out of my misery pretty soon
Bear
Comment Written 22-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
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Lol! Good point, NO, I don't mean point! I'm still giggling at this great and amusing review my friend. Thank you for putting a smile on my face! Alexis x
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
At one point[,] Alan jumped out of his chair and begged Eve to do more,
Who's to say[no comma for missing "that"] you can't do it again? You certainly had me fooled."
but she believed that[,] if he thought Alan wasn't a threat, he might not want to harm him.
When she stopped the car[,] there was an eerie silence before Nick got out of the passenger seat and walked round towards her door before opening it.
"And in the meantime[,] we just sit here while that bastard is doing God knows what to Lisa?
Lisa stared around the chalet[,] desperately looking for a way out, apart from the locked front door.
her hand shaking so much[htat] the pale golden liquid cascaded over the sides of the overfilled glass.
Lisa stared at him in disbelief and, unable to contain herself any longer, threw what was left in her glass[] in his face.
and viciously pushed [it] to the side of her face.
You won't be going anywhere[] until there is an 'us'."
Nick ignored her and walked over to the bed where he picked up the silk night-dress and the robe[] before handing them to her.
praying that there might be a window []in the bathroom[ to escape from].
Before she reached the door[,] Nick came up to her[] and[,] taking her chin in his free hand, stared intently into her eyes.
alexis, For sometime, there has been a GPS in the cell phones so the provider can track the phone. the police can contact them and locate Lisa.
Also, I just recently learned there's a new feature in at least some of the phones. My granddaughter lost her phone, so her mom, because the contract was in her name, was able to go to the website and turn on a locator function. that allowed my daughter to know the approximate location. For instance, if it was in our apartment, it would show our courtyard. It turned out she'd left it in one of her friend's car.
Even if Lisa owns the contract to her own phone, the police have a code they use when contacting the provider to have them track the phone.
Good chapter.
One thing about getting behind is that I can hurry on tot he next chapter.
Roberta
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
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At one point[,] Alan jumped out of his chair and begged Eve to do more,
Who's to say[no comma for missing "that"] you can't do it again? You certainly had me fooled."
but she believed that[,] if he thought Alan wasn't a threat, he might not want to harm him.
When she stopped the car[,] there was an eerie silence before Nick got out of the passenger seat and walked round towards her door before opening it.
"And in the meantime[,] we just sit here while that bastard is doing God knows what to Lisa?
Lisa stared around the chalet[,] desperately looking for a way out, apart from the locked front door.
her hand shaking so much[htat] the pale golden liquid cascaded over the sides of the overfilled glass.
Lisa stared at him in disbelief and, unable to contain herself any longer, threw what was left in her glass[] in his face.
and viciously pushed [it] to the side of her face.
You won't be going anywhere[] until there is an 'us'."
Nick ignored her and walked over to the bed where he picked up the silk night-dress and the robe[] before handing them to her.
praying that there might be a window []in the bathroom[ to escape from].
Before she reached the door[,] Nick came up to her[] and[,] taking her chin in his free hand, stared intently into her eyes.
alexis, For sometime, there has been a GPS in the cell phones so the provider can track the phone. the police can contact them and locate Lisa.
Also, I just recently learned there's a new feature in at least some of the phones. My granddaughter lost her phone, so her mom, because the contract was in her name, was able to go to the website and turn on a locator function. that allowed my daughter to know the approximate location. For instance, if it was in our apartment, it would show our courtyard. It turned out she'd left it in one of her friend's car.
Even if Lisa owns the contract to her own phone, the police have a code they use when contacting the provider to have them track the phone.
Good chapter.
One thing about getting behind is that I can hurry on tot he next chapter.
Roberta
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
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I must admit, I remember that facility being used on '24' and a few other films and programmes I've seen in the past, but didn't know anything about it. I shall check into whether it was available ten years ago when this was supposed to all be happening. It would be great if it was! Thank you yet again, Roberta for such a helpful review. Alexis x
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I didn't know when this took place. they definitely did not have the locator to find your lost phone ten years ago, and maybe not the GPS. Before GPS, they triangulated so maybe they wouldn't have gotten any closer than the intersection where the cop lost them. Technology has been changing so fast in the past twenty years that it's hard to know what its status was at any particular time. I don't know when they first started putting GPS in tires.
Comment from Anthony Crosbie
I need to know what is going to happen! Thank goodness you are writing almost as fast as I can read. I hope you are looking to get a book deal for this?!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
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I need to know what is going to happen! Thank goodness you are writing almost as fast as I can read. I hope you are looking to get a book deal for this?!
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2012
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My last but one of your lovely reviews. Thank you so much for being part of the journey. Alexis x
Comment from axelbeariter
But Eve grabbed his phone and held it well out of his reach./Well placed detail----
he added sarcastically./Drop sarcastically. The reader knows from reading about her posing in the nude that Nick's remark is sarcastic.----You've produced another gripping chapter.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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But Eve grabbed his phone and held it well out of his reach./Well placed detail----
he added sarcastically./Drop sarcastically. The reader knows from reading about her posing in the nude that Nick's remark is sarcastic.----You've produced another gripping chapter.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Second last opportunity to thank you yet again Axel. I look forward to having the time to read and review other peoples work, your's included. As usual, I can't thank you enough. Alexis x
Comment from wordsfromsue
I can't believe there's only one more chapter. I'm feeling very bereft at the looming end of the story. It's a great chapter. I'm just too sad to say much. I'm about to lose my 'fly on the wall' spot. :-(
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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I can't believe there's only one more chapter. I'm feeling very bereft at the looming end of the story. It's a great chapter. I'm just too sad to say much. I'm about to lose my 'fly on the wall' spot. :-(
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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Don't worry, my friend, the next ones about to start! Thank you! Alexis x
Comment from Malerie
Well, this is not looking good for Lisa. Nick appears to be beyond reason. I do expect this to have a happy ending; Alan will find her and they will live happily ever after. Thanks for another good chapter; keep writing; I'm reading till the end.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Well, this is not looking good for Lisa. Nick appears to be beyond reason. I do expect this to have a happy ending; Alan will find her and they will live happily ever after. Thanks for another good chapter; keep writing; I'm reading till the end.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Yes, he's a complete fruit loop, I'm afraid. Thank you so much for your great review and support and comments throughout. Alexis x
Comment from LisaSilva
I don't know if it's true of everyone, but I've always planned what I would do in a case like this. It wouldn't make a good story, but I would lie my "*$#" off. I would act so modest and shy and pretend I was in love until I found an opportunity to injure, kill or run away. Scary stuff and very good writing!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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I don't know if it's true of everyone, but I've always planned what I would do in a case like this. It wouldn't make a good story, but I would lie my "*$#" off. I would act so modest and shy and pretend I was in love until I found an opportunity to injure, kill or run away. Scary stuff and very good writing!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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I'm with you on that one, Lisa! I tried to get inside Lisa's head as much as I could on this one and ended up with very mixed emotions regarding fear, revulsion, and the need to stay alive. Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
but Nick reached down, having seen it by her feet where is had ended up when she'd stopped the car.---OOPS I think you mean where 'it' had ended ...
Whoa, another wonderfully written chapter. Great work,my fiend!!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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but Nick reached down, having seen it by her feet where is had ended up when she'd stopped the car.---OOPS I think you mean where 'it' had ended ...
Whoa, another wonderfully written chapter. Great work,my fiend!!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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As usual, well spotted! Thank you so much, my friend for your great review. Nearly there! Alexis x
Comment from debskatz
Hey alexis,
God, Nick really is crazy, seriously crazy!
Found one spag:
"Were(We're) bound to find them - although later in the sentence, you use "they're" twice. you might want to consider doing that with "we're."
I hardly even want to read the next one knowing it's the last. sigh...
But off I go!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Hey alexis,
God, Nick really is crazy, seriously crazy!
Found one spag:
"Were(We're) bound to find them - although later in the sentence, you use "they're" twice. you might want to consider doing that with "we're."
I hardly even want to read the next one knowing it's the last. sigh...
But off I go!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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As usual, you are spot on, Debs. I think I've cleared it up by starting the next sentence with 'Our guys' so that the 'they're is clearer. My thanks yet again. Alexis x
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
At least Lisa knows her own mind...
His threat to try and kill Alan again her (was?? or comma)only motivation to do as he asked. - I fancy this needs a comma or "was".
don't love you?"She asked - space before She
Margaret
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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At least Lisa knows her own mind...
His threat to try and kill Alan again her (was?? or comma)only motivation to do as he asked. - I fancy this needs a comma or "was".
don't love you?"She asked - space before She
Margaret
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Well spotted, Margaret. I can always depend on you to spot the ones that got away! Thank you so much. Alexis x