The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "The Red Dress chapter thirty six"The story of a teenage girl
13 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
My first thought is: calm before the storm. Puddinhead Nick knows how to pull out all the right baubles to wow a girl half his age. I am not impressed, Mr Rich Freak Boy Puddinhead.
And Alan Missing A Pair, would it have been too much trouble to write Please Call Me inside the card? This lot are driving me crazy!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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My first thought is: calm before the storm. Puddinhead Nick knows how to pull out all the right baubles to wow a girl half his age. I am not impressed, Mr Rich Freak Boy Puddinhead.
And Alan Missing A Pair, would it have been too much trouble to write Please Call Me inside the card? This lot are driving me crazy!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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You manage to make me laugh every time you write a review. I'm sure that if you were Lisa, you would have sorted Nick out in five seconds flat! Thank you. Alexis x
Comment from Malerie
Poor Nick, I feel that he is in for yet another surprise. Lisa seems to really enjoy all the gifts that is bestowing on her. What she feels is gratitude, not love. I wonder if she could grew to love Nick or has Alan completely stolen her heart forever. With Nick's reputation, I'm sure Lisa pass actions will soon catch up with her. Another good chapter, keep writing I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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Poor Nick, I feel that he is in for yet another surprise. Lisa seems to really enjoy all the gifts that is bestowing on her. What she feels is gratitude, not love. I wonder if she could grew to love Nick or has Alan completely stolen her heart forever. With Nick's reputation, I'm sure Lisa pass actions will soon catch up with her. Another good chapter, keep writing I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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Your spot on in your deductions, as I think you now know. Thats why I didn't want to answer this before you had a chance to read on, in case I spoilt the surprise! Alexis x
Comment from LisaSilva
"Many congratulations on your engagement, I hope you'll be very happy... Alan"
This way she doesn't find out just what he's been through. It's a true romance filled with misunderstandings.
It feel so good to get those extravagant gifts when you're poor. She comes from a rich family, but on her own, she's poor. I came from a poor family and had a few guys spoil me. It is such a relief, like water in the desert, but the price...
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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"Many congratulations on your engagement, I hope you'll be very happy... Alan"
This way she doesn't find out just what he's been through. It's a true romance filled with misunderstandings.
It feel so good to get those extravagant gifts when you're poor. She comes from a rich family, but on her own, she's poor. I came from a poor family and had a few guys spoil me. It is such a relief, like water in the desert, but the price...
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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You are absolutely right, Lisa. No amount of money can turn you on, if the chemistry's not there, so women who think that money can make up for it, often pay a much greater price for happiness. The novelty soon wears off, I'm sure. Thank you so much for your review. Alexis x
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I hope she's right... nothing will
stop her.
"Es this Sasha a school friend you ave?"
Taking it that "Es" is deliberate... but if dropping an "h" on have, then it should be 'ave?
reached him.The look - space after period
the car with it's - its
Margaret
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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I hope she's right... nothing will
stop her.
"Es this Sasha a school friend you ave?"
Taking it that "Es" is deliberate... but if dropping an "h" on have, then it should be 'ave?
reached him.The look - space after period
the car with it's - its
Margaret
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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My sincere thanks for your review and eagle eye, Margaret. Alexis x
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
"Well[,] now []she is your best friend!"
All through assembly[,] Lisa stared down at the card trying to glean the underlying message inside.
When she got back to her bedroom[,] she was tempted to put the card in the bin,
When she walked out of the front doors[,]
she could see most of her
When he saw Lisa walking towards him[,]
his face lit up, and he smiled at her, holding up a set of keys.
and he knew the press might get wind of it[] if he took anyone that was underage.
As she looked over at him driving the car[,]
she felt so thankful, not only for his kindness and generosity, but his thoughtfulness as well.
And will she go, or will something come up?
Roberta
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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"Well[,] now []she is your best friend!"
All through assembly[,] Lisa stared down at the card trying to glean the underlying message inside.
When she got back to her bedroom[,] she was tempted to put the card in the bin,
When she walked out of the front doors[,]
she could see most of her
When he saw Lisa walking towards him[,]
his face lit up, and he smiled at her, holding up a set of keys.
and he knew the press might get wind of it[] if he took anyone that was underage.
As she looked over at him driving the car[,]
she felt so thankful, not only for his kindness and generosity, but his thoughtfulness as well.
And will she go, or will something come up?
Roberta
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2012
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All corrected thanks to your wonderful reviewing. Thank you so much. Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
WOW, he knows how to spoil Lisa! I;m thrilled she got a card from Alan AND his # Hope still reigns! LOL.
Great writing. I didn't see anything to correct.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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WOW, he knows how to spoil Lisa! I;m thrilled she got a card from Alan AND his # Hope still reigns! LOL.
Great writing. I didn't see anything to correct.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Oh, to have a guy who looked like that, and had all that money! Never mind... sigh. Thank you so much for your review. Alexis x
Comment from axelbeariter
from her brother in The States suggesting that her classmate should have picked a husband in The Virgin Islands, instead of The Isle of Man./Very clever.----with a waiting list as long as your arm,/Re-write this cliche: with a waiting list as long as a flagpole or something like that.----Even her mother was enjoying the pressure from the press./Try to write more actively: Even her mother enjoyed the pressure from the press. Go over your entire manuscript when you finish it and look for these passive sentences----simple 18thbirthday card/Put a space after 18th----She made her way downstairs to meet Amy and passed the library where there were usually a few of her year swotting away after supper./It sounds like you left something out in this sentence----Nick was grinning/passive--Nick grinned/active---- 'Is it really for me?' she asked/Fix the quote marks----Another masterpiece.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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from her brother in The States suggesting that her classmate should have picked a husband in The Virgin Islands, instead of The Isle of Man./Very clever.----with a waiting list as long as your arm,/Re-write this cliche: with a waiting list as long as a flagpole or something like that.----Even her mother was enjoying the pressure from the press./Try to write more actively: Even her mother enjoyed the pressure from the press. Go over your entire manuscript when you finish it and look for these passive sentences----simple 18thbirthday card/Put a space after 18th----She made her way downstairs to meet Amy and passed the library where there were usually a few of her year swotting away after supper./It sounds like you left something out in this sentence----Nick was grinning/passive--Nick grinned/active---- 'Is it really for me?' she asked/Fix the quote marks----Another masterpiece.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Axel. Great advice, as usual. I have learnt so much from your reviews. Alexis x
Comment from MumEsGirl
Im not sure, but I think Lisa is better off with Nick. Alan will be a long time recovering and now that Carla is back, he will be under pressure.
Like the media coverage and the return of many old friends, probably wanting to touch shoulders with the rich and famous
kate
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Im not sure, but I think Lisa is better off with Nick. Alan will be a long time recovering and now that Carla is back, he will be under pressure.
Like the media coverage and the return of many old friends, probably wanting to touch shoulders with the rich and famous
kate
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Just give it another three or four chapters before you decide. Don't forget,there's a gorgeous lawyer in London... Alexis x
Comment from debskatz
Hey alexis,
Nice! Hey, tell me where Nick is & I'll be on my way!! lol Great chapter. Made all the more better because there was no spag. Thank you!!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Hey alexis,
Nice! Hey, tell me where Nick is & I'll be on my way!! lol Great chapter. Made all the more better because there was no spag. Thank you!!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Phew! Shame I can't do it every day! Thank you so much, Debs, your reviews mean a lot to me. Alexis x
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Fantastic....worked like a dream and I never saw any spags sticking out, I'll leave that for the pros.
This was filled like any girls dreams of a big splash...
A wonderful read and a bit sad with Alan......yes yes I know but still its the wistfulness that stays alive I think.
Funny, I bought myself (cause I never had a millionaire like Lisa) a yellow two seater sports car, CRX, Honda......funny how the colours were the same.....
Yup perfectly done.
Loved it.
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen
wc xx
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Fantastic....worked like a dream and I never saw any spags sticking out, I'll leave that for the pros.
This was filled like any girls dreams of a big splash...
A wonderful read and a bit sad with Alan......yes yes I know but still its the wistfulness that stays alive I think.
Funny, I bought myself (cause I never had a millionaire like Lisa) a yellow two seater sports car, CRX, Honda......funny how the colours were the same.....
Yup perfectly done.
Loved it.
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen
wc xx
Comment Written 08-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much, Maureen. Hold onto your hat...It's about to be a bumpy ride! Oh, I'm so excited! Love Ya, Alexis x