The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Red dress chapter twenty four."The story of a teenage girl
10 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
Awww, this chapter is totally realistic for the story, but I couldn't help feeling sad for them. I remember being that age and you just feel stuff like this so much more dramatically than you would/will later in life. It's as if they're the only two people who had been in love like this.
I am hoping they can weather the future storms. Not certain at all, but hopeful.
Very good storytelling.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2012
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Awww, this chapter is totally realistic for the story, but I couldn't help feeling sad for them. I remember being that age and you just feel stuff like this so much more dramatically than you would/will later in life. It's as if they're the only two people who had been in love like this.
I am hoping they can weather the future storms. Not certain at all, but hopeful.
Very good storytelling.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2012
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Okay, I'm doing the random reply thing again, I know! It's so strange. As you read, I sleep, and visa versa. Love that you still seem to be enjoying it. Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
Lisa and Alan went to his parents on the Wednesday night so that she could say goodbye... OOPS You don't need 'the' before Wednesday.
WOW!!!What a chapter. Phew I'm exhausted, in a good way!:-)
You have done such a great job of hooking so many emotions.
Great work
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Lisa and Alan went to his parents on the Wednesday night so that she could say goodbye... OOPS You don't need 'the' before Wednesday.
WOW!!!What a chapter. Phew I'm exhausted, in a good way!:-)
You have done such a great job of hooking so many emotions.
Great work
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much for yet another of your wonderfully enthusiastic reviews. You so inspire me to write! Alexis x
Comment from Malerie
Wow, I wonder if their relationship can stand the test of time. I think that Lisa needs this time to mature and gain her independence. That last chapter, showing her immaturity really seemed to put the future in check for her. I'm sure there is more drama to come for the couple. Thanks for another good chapter, please keep writing, I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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Wow, I wonder if their relationship can stand the test of time. I think that Lisa needs this time to mature and gain her independence. That last chapter, showing her immaturity really seemed to put the future in check for her. I'm sure there is more drama to come for the couple. Thanks for another good chapter, please keep writing, I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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Who can say? Things are about to get pretty complicated! Thank you so much for your review. Alexis x
Comment from axelbeariter
When they left Lisa hugged them all,/Put a comma after left----he had become her soul mate, her friend, and her lover- and she needed all three to survive./Perfect. You've described, in my estimation also, the ultimate qualifications of a relationship that would last through storm and fire.----don't leave your phone in the car!"/well placed ! This one is allowed----/Another well composed chapter. Good job.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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When they left Lisa hugged them all,/Put a comma after left----he had become her soul mate, her friend, and her lover- and she needed all three to survive./Perfect. You've described, in my estimation also, the ultimate qualifications of a relationship that would last through storm and fire.----don't leave your phone in the car!"/well placed ! This one is allowed----/Another well composed chapter. Good job.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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I'm so pleased I got it right. You have taught me well, and my anti (!) patrol is now on full alert(!) It's a bit like having chocolate in the cupboard and learning how to ignore it and only bring it out for special occasions. Alexis x
Comment from AlexAX
A great chapter and it is the best solution they have right now. Glad they see it. But I guess they felt like their world would fall apart if they aren't together, physically, seeing each other. I wonder how she will be with her mum *pondering that thought* ;) Just saw this .. Even although(though) she had proved that. Alex :)
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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A great chapter and it is the best solution they have right now. Glad they see it. But I guess they felt like their world would fall apart if they aren't together, physically, seeing each other. I wonder how she will be with her mum *pondering that thought* ;) Just saw this .. Even although(though) she had proved that. Alex :)
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Thank you so much for catching that. Hopefully you know by now how the mother meeting went. Thank you so much for following the story and reviewing. Alexis x
Comment from MumEsGirl
This is more like it. Lisa finally getting a shot at normal living.
Something tells me she wont last too long at school though.
This story is coming along well and it would be easy to pick up the threads even for a new reader
kate
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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This is more like it. Lisa finally getting a shot at normal living.
Something tells me she wont last too long at school though.
This story is coming along well and it would be easy to pick up the threads even for a new reader
kate
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Kate. Yes, the book is about to start tangling a lot of threads. I just hope everyone can follow them. Alexis x
Comment from debskatz
Hi alexis,
Yeah, this is the right thing to do. God, remember when we were young and emotions were so raw & we thought the world would end if you couldn't be together with the one you loved? I'm so glad I'm not there anymore! Too much angst!!
I'm off to the next chapter!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Hi alexis,
Yeah, this is the right thing to do. God, remember when we were young and emotions were so raw & we thought the world would end if you couldn't be together with the one you loved? I'm so glad I'm not there anymore! Too much angst!!
I'm off to the next chapter!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Yep, I remember it well...why do you think I wrote the book? I so love writing, you can be anyone you like, and beautiful to boot! So much easier than the real thing. Alexis x
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AMEN!! And you can write a different ending to a story that didn't end so well in real life! :-)
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Spot on!
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Reality comes crashing around the love birds.
Another well penned work my friend.
Your chapter is still flowing well and good imagery creating the scene around them. The two who don't want to be separated but life goes on.
This chapter had a great emotional hit to it...Not the usual of just sad, but also the inevitable. Their union seems to faltering and I could sense they both know it.
Great job my friend...I am relieved no cold showers for a bit, I was staring to catch a cold and go into hormonal shock.:)
Thanks for sharing another great work.
Maureen
Edit checks:
" On their last morning together they touched, they held, they loved, they promised, everything they could in the little time that they had left, feeling cheated that circumstances were forcing them apart and that the future for them both was so uncertain."
// This just seemed like a very long sentence. I'm not the greatest on grammar, but think you should take a look at that when you can...there are a few within this chapter. :)
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Reality comes crashing around the love birds.
Another well penned work my friend.
Your chapter is still flowing well and good imagery creating the scene around them. The two who don't want to be separated but life goes on.
This chapter had a great emotional hit to it...Not the usual of just sad, but also the inevitable. Their union seems to faltering and I could sense they both know it.
Great job my friend...I am relieved no cold showers for a bit, I was staring to catch a cold and go into hormonal shock.:)
Thanks for sharing another great work.
Maureen
Edit checks:
" On their last morning together they touched, they held, they loved, they promised, everything they could in the little time that they had left, feeling cheated that circumstances were forcing them apart and that the future for them both was so uncertain."
// This just seemed like a very long sentence. I'm not the greatest on grammar, but think you should take a look at that when you can...there are a few within this chapter. :)
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Really good point wc, I have re-jigged it, and it looks much better. Came back from Wakefield tonight with 30+ reviews to reply to, which is fantastic (albeit time consuming!) Havent seen the television in months, and the eyes are out on bloodshot stalks, but hey, it's fun! Think I should become b sad c! Alexis xxx
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Not surprising, since you are a great writer.
Blood shot eyes...just put some cucumbers on em....lol
I had 23 reviews to reply to and 42 reviews to do....but hey soon you'll be a published author...and can start on the blue dress...ROFL.
Ok ok just having fun...B sad C,, hell no, those bedroom scenes should keep your engine going for a while...
W happy C.....tis the wine:)
Comment from Hareem.S
Awww its sad to see them parting for a while though. Hope they feel the same way and keep in touvh. Another vivid chapter which is very close to reality. Loved it.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Awww its sad to see them parting for a while though. Hope they feel the same way and keep in touvh. Another vivid chapter which is very close to reality. Loved it.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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As they say, all good things have to come to an end sometime. Thank you so much for your lovely review. Alexis x
Comment from KinaSalad
Hi there Alexisleech, I enjoyed reading your story here. Your writing just flows and I like the story. Thank you very much for sharing
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Hi there Alexisleech, I enjoyed reading your story here. Your writing just flows and I like the story. Thank you very much for sharing
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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The pleasure is all mine. Thank you so much for reviewing. Alexis x