The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 " The Red Dress chapter nineteen"The story of a teenage girl
16 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
I don't know, the offer sounded pretty good, as long as she didn't have to be alone in London with her Mom.
Living on love and ramen noodles might get old after awhile...
I shall have to wait and see what's ahead. :-)
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
  |
I don't know, the offer sounded pretty good, as long as she didn't have to be alone in London with her Mom.
Living on love and ramen noodles might get old after awhile...
I shall have to wait and see what's ahead. :-)
Comment Written 16-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
-
Okay, I am now going to dance in and out of your fabulous reviews in no particular order! A huge thank you! Alexis x
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hello Alexis
Once again you have blended intrigue, sex, and drama into the ring. This is a excellent chapter. Lisa needs to go away. She is not ready for the challenges ahead. At least that is my take on it
Bear
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
|
Hello Alexis
Once again you have blended intrigue, sex, and drama into the ring. This is a excellent chapter. Lisa needs to go away. She is not ready for the challenges ahead. At least that is my take on it
Bear
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
-
And your take is spot on! Thank you so much. Alexis x
Comment from Gooloom
The twist in the tail has come, with her brother's arrival and the hard facts of life he has placed before her. To day's gen.next do not wish to wait for the right time, or the right man. When their hormones reach the zenith, they want raw throbbing SEX--and to hell with the future. Lets see what happens. I can't wait for the nxt chapter. Gooloom
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
|
The twist in the tail has come, with her brother's arrival and the hard facts of life he has placed before her. To day's gen.next do not wish to wait for the right time, or the right man. When their hormones reach the zenith, they want raw throbbing SEX--and to hell with the future. Lets see what happens. I can't wait for the nxt chapter. Gooloom
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
-
Yes, they certainly do, but like all good things, perhaps it can't last forever. The next twenty chapters will tell...Alexis
Comment from rwilliam
At half past ten Alan's mobile rang, just as Lisa walked back into the bedroom after her shower. After he answered it, Alan silently mouthed the name Eve Brookes, before handing Lisa the phone.-- Try:
At half past ten Alan's mobile rang, just as Lisa walked into the bedroom from her shower. He looked at her and mouthed the name Eve Brookes, before handing her the phone.
She loved her brother, but she still remembered the time she had turned to him before, and the subsequent consequences. She had never really trusted him in the same way since then.--Try:
She loved her brother, but she couldn't forget the last time she had turned to him, and the subsequent consequences. She never really trusted him in the same way since.
The waitress arrived after five minutes, and after they had ordered, Scott chatted to Lisa as though nothing had happened. --Try: The waitress arrived and after they ordered, Scott chatted with Lisa as though nothing had happened. -I'd be careful of using the same word to often in close proximity. For example the word 'after'. :-)
Read my lips, both of you--- I'm not interested!"--This -in MY opinion mind you :-)- would have more impact like this. More drama: Read my lips, both of you--- I'M NOT INTERESTED!
She tried to dry her eyes with her napkin, and took a sip of her cold coffee before returning his gaze with pleading eyes.-She 'tried' to dry her eyes? I'd say She dabbed at her eyes or she dried her eyes but I personally don't like 'tried' . Just a personal note though so you decide.
EXCELLENT chapter. Exciting! Very,very good!!
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
|
At half past ten Alan's mobile rang, just as Lisa walked back into the bedroom after her shower. After he answered it, Alan silently mouthed the name Eve Brookes, before handing Lisa the phone.-- Try:
At half past ten Alan's mobile rang, just as Lisa walked into the bedroom from her shower. He looked at her and mouthed the name Eve Brookes, before handing her the phone.
She loved her brother, but she still remembered the time she had turned to him before, and the subsequent consequences. She had never really trusted him in the same way since then.--Try:
She loved her brother, but she couldn't forget the last time she had turned to him, and the subsequent consequences. She never really trusted him in the same way since.
The waitress arrived after five minutes, and after they had ordered, Scott chatted to Lisa as though nothing had happened. --Try: The waitress arrived and after they ordered, Scott chatted with Lisa as though nothing had happened. -I'd be careful of using the same word to often in close proximity. For example the word 'after'. :-)
Read my lips, both of you--- I'm not interested!"--This -in MY opinion mind you :-)- would have more impact like this. More drama: Read my lips, both of you--- I'M NOT INTERESTED!
She tried to dry her eyes with her napkin, and took a sip of her cold coffee before returning his gaze with pleading eyes.-She 'tried' to dry her eyes? I'd say She dabbed at her eyes or she dried her eyes but I personally don't like 'tried' . Just a personal note though so you decide.
EXCELLENT chapter. Exciting! Very,very good!!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
-
Spot on, as usual! I've corrected all in line with your suggestions. Thank you so much for the great input. Alexis x
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alexis, you did a great job writing this chapter, i don't think too much of scott talking like lisa was dumb and led men around by a nose ring.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
|
this is very well written, alexis, you did a great job writing this chapter, i don't think too much of scott talking like lisa was dumb and led men around by a nose ring.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
-
You are spot on with your observations. Thank you so much for your review. Alexis x
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
My goodness, Alexis -
ten pages in one review...
a good chapter that moves
the story on -
holding the interest throughout.
had to go though -through
Margaret
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
|
My goodness, Alexis -
ten pages in one review...
a good chapter that moves
the story on -
holding the interest throughout.
had to go though -through
Margaret
Comment Written 28-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
-
Thank you for your eagle eye, Margaret. I can't believe how long it takes to edit, especially if you haven't read the chapter for a while. Alexis x
Comment from Chris Davis
Another very nicely done chapter. I am really getting pulled into this story despite coming into it at chapter 18 (the one previous to this). I plan to go back and start from the beginning. There were a couple of simple typographical errors but easily corrected and doesn't affect my opinion or rating. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
|
Another very nicely done chapter. I am really getting pulled into this story despite coming into it at chapter 18 (the one previous to this). I plan to go back and start from the beginning. There were a couple of simple typographical errors but easily corrected and doesn't affect my opinion or rating. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
-
You couldn't pay me a greater compliment if you do read more. Thank you so much for your great review. Alexis x
-
This storyline definitely has me intrigued... looking forward to more. ~Chris
Comment from Malerie
Well, the plot continues to thicken. Lisa has a golden opportunity to go to school. I feel that she is heading for a different kind of world than what she is used to if she decides to enter the modeling world. I'm still waiting for Carla and Nick to re-enter this story. Keep writing; I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
|
Well, the plot continues to thicken. Lisa has a golden opportunity to go to school. I feel that she is heading for a different kind of world than what she is used to if she decides to enter the modeling world. I'm still waiting for Carla and Nick to re-enter this story. Keep writing; I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
-
Thank you. A lot more thickening to come, I'm delighted to say. Alexis x
Comment from debskatz
Hey alexis,
Please, if they can't consider being apart for 10 months, they don't need to consider being together at all. Kids!!
Well, I hope she goes myself.
I'm really looking forward to reading the next chapter!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
|
Hey alexis,
Please, if they can't consider being apart for 10 months, they don't need to consider being together at all. Kids!!
Well, I hope she goes myself.
I'm really looking forward to reading the next chapter!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2012
-
Oh, you are so going to enjoy the next few chapters! Thank you so much for your review, advice, and company through this journey. Alexis x
Comment from AlexAX
The dialogue played a big part in this chapter and I wondered when Scott would make an appearance. Hi, Scott, it's Lisa - where are you?'<(")>'Hey--- don't shoot the messenger. So if she takes the offer she still has to meet her mum, hmm interesting. Great chapter, still completely hooked lol. I only saw (")'You've seen the kind of lifestyle she's used to. "I thought you might be staying for a day or so,'("). Alex :)
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
|
The dialogue played a big part in this chapter and I wondered when Scott would make an appearance. Hi, Scott, it's Lisa - where are you?'<(")>'Hey--- don't shoot the messenger. So if she takes the offer she still has to meet her mum, hmm interesting. Great chapter, still completely hooked lol. I only saw (")'You've seen the kind of lifestyle she's used to. "I thought you might be staying for a day or so,'("). Alex :)
Comment Written 27-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2012
-
Thank you so much for spotting these, I have had to change every single quotation mark to a double because that's what I used when I first wrote the book, and I always miss a couple in every chapter! Grrrrr Yes, you are soon to see a few new faces (and a few old ones.) Be ready to boo and hiss! Alexis x
-
You're welcome :) Hahaha I feel like I'm at the theatre ;) Alex.