Keith & Brianna
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Pancakes"Blossoming romance
2 total reviews
Comment from nanna
The conversation works well and I like the way you have something happening whilst the speak to each other. What I did not like was the way you felt it necessary to name the speaker after each speech. There were only two people present so it was clear which person was speaking.asked, whined, joked,advised,said replied, sang. Perhaps you could try it without all these. Nanna
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2011
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The conversation works well and I like the way you have something happening whilst the speak to each other. What I did not like was the way you felt it necessary to name the speaker after each speech. There were only two people present so it was clear which person was speaking.asked, whined, joked,advised,said replied, sang. Perhaps you could try it without all these. Nanna
Comment Written 08-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2011
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It'll take some practice. I'll keep that in mind. You're nice. Thanks!
Comment from Queenise
You made me hungry. Great imagery and pace as well as a good flow. Like the dialogue the two have and it is so true to life. Good art with this. Best wishes. Will go back and read some more chapter as I have time. Queenise
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2011
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You made me hungry. Great imagery and pace as well as a good flow. Like the dialogue the two have and it is so true to life. Good art with this. Best wishes. Will go back and read some more chapter as I have time. Queenise
Comment Written 08-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2011
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You're so nice. Thank you. Good night!
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You're welcome. Queenise. Thank you.