shelley's contest collage
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "butterfly springs"keeping hope alive....
10 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
I really, really like this poem! Love it, actually! It is so full of fun and joy and rebirth and all the things that make the earth a good place to be...
Thanks for the invitation to come and look over your work. It appears to me like you struggle with depression part of the time... Don't worry, I recognize it because I struggle also. I can tell that you fight to make your pieces light-hearted but sometimes the depression wants to be let out.
For example, in your poem about the beginning of Spring, you primarily speak of the highlights of the season - the blessings, more or less -- then hit the reader with an unexpected hammer-blow at the end with the mention of depression. Do you think you might change the poem to allude to it a little bit more before then? I think you are on the right track with the idea of the thunderings of Spring, but perhaps you might set up the fact that it is a darker poem? Food for thought.
That's enough for now. You have a wonderful talent. I hope you write frequently and share your work. The world will be a better place for it. *smile*
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
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I really, really like this poem! Love it, actually! It is so full of fun and joy and rebirth and all the things that make the earth a good place to be...
Thanks for the invitation to come and look over your work. It appears to me like you struggle with depression part of the time... Don't worry, I recognize it because I struggle also. I can tell that you fight to make your pieces light-hearted but sometimes the depression wants to be let out.
For example, in your poem about the beginning of Spring, you primarily speak of the highlights of the season - the blessings, more or less -- then hit the reader with an unexpected hammer-blow at the end with the mention of depression. Do you think you might change the poem to allude to it a little bit more before then? I think you are on the right track with the idea of the thunderings of Spring, but perhaps you might set up the fact that it is a darker poem? Food for thought.
That's enough for now. You have a wonderful talent. I hope you write frequently and share your work. The world will be a better place for it. *smile*
Comment Written 01-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2011
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aw thank you so much for dropping in :)
Comment from starkat
hey shel - congratulations on winning the Nonet contest! you're on a roll - i see you won another haiku contest. And, you're beating out some of my fellow classmates that were in my haiku class. way to go! you're a successful graduate of one of Alvin's classes.
i love this nonet about the woosey, cute and cuddly caterpillar that had too many drops of tequila and slipped off a leaf into a rain puddle where he caught pneumonia and shiverred a bunch, so wrapped himself in a warm banky and had some weird dreams about flying through and above flowers when all of a sudden he woke up and saw that he was flying - a miracle, and knew that with those wings he was finally a free spirit and never again would have to crawl around on the ground in the mud.
delighful nonet - keep up the great writing
cheers ...;o) kat
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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hey shel - congratulations on winning the Nonet contest! you're on a roll - i see you won another haiku contest. And, you're beating out some of my fellow classmates that were in my haiku class. way to go! you're a successful graduate of one of Alvin's classes.
i love this nonet about the woosey, cute and cuddly caterpillar that had too many drops of tequila and slipped off a leaf into a rain puddle where he caught pneumonia and shiverred a bunch, so wrapped himself in a warm banky and had some weird dreams about flying through and above flowers when all of a sudden he woke up and saw that he was flying - a miracle, and knew that with those wings he was finally a free spirit and never again would have to crawl around on the ground in the mud.
delighful nonet - keep up the great writing
cheers ...;o) kat
Comment Written 20-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2011
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hehe thanx kat!! :-)
Comment from more2write
I did not know what a nonnet poem was until I started reading these. I see why yours is a winner. Your writing is like your poem, it's tranformitive and free. Good job, more2write
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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I did not know what a nonnet poem was until I started reading these. I see why yours is a winner. Your writing is like your poem, it's tranformitive and free. Good job, more2write
Comment Written 18-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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thank you much :)
Comment from Jennlynne
Very nice nonet. No clue how you got that blinky graphic in there but kudos. It seems to be turning heads along with the cute butterfly story. Best of luck to you. :)
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2011
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Very nice nonet. No clue how you got that blinky graphic in there but kudos. It seems to be turning heads along with the cute butterfly story. Best of luck to you. :)
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2011
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photobucket.com :)
Comment from missy98writer
Mystery Poet,
your Nonet is beautifully written. Your words paint a picture in the readers head of a caterpillar transforming in to a beautiful butterfly. I love your pictures you used. Your Nonet is in proper form and syllable count. You've effectively used alliteration, personification and metaphor in you Nonet. I liked your explanation of a caterpillar wrapping himself in a soft warm blanked. I enjoyed your lines; "dreaming of flying thorough May flowers butterfly awakes free." our poem is an excellent entry in the writing prompt contest. I wish you good luck in the contest.
Missy.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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Mystery Poet,
your Nonet is beautifully written. Your words paint a picture in the readers head of a caterpillar transforming in to a beautiful butterfly. I love your pictures you used. Your Nonet is in proper form and syllable count. You've effectively used alliteration, personification and metaphor in you Nonet. I liked your explanation of a caterpillar wrapping himself in a soft warm blanked. I enjoyed your lines; "dreaming of flying thorough May flowers butterfly awakes free." our poem is an excellent entry in the writing prompt contest. I wish you good luck in the contest.
Missy.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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thank you missy :)
Comment from MAMONIA
Kinda love this one!!! It is so cuddly
and lovely a poem. A nonet of my dreams.
Not only do I adore butterflies, but just
the thought of the process they must go
through to bring us such job, fills my
heart, as did this poem.
You defintely have my vote on this one.
It's a winner. Lots of love, Marie
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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Kinda love this one!!! It is so cuddly
and lovely a poem. A nonet of my dreams.
Not only do I adore butterflies, but just
the thought of the process they must go
through to bring us such job, fills my
heart, as did this poem.
You defintely have my vote on this one.
It's a winner. Lots of love, Marie
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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hehe thank you marie :)
Comment from WilliamDeen
LOVE IT!!! GREAT GRAphics too!!! This would be a good poem to use on an insect unit in the classroom. Good luck in the contest. YOU have my vote. Thanks for sharing, Pamela
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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LOVE IT!!! GREAT GRAphics too!!! This would be a good poem to use on an insect unit in the classroom. Good luck in the contest. YOU have my vote. Thanks for sharing, Pamela
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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cool! thanx! :)
Comment from heyjude
mystery author, this is cute. I love how you have crafted
this poem. Just right on with the syllable count. I like
how you've shown his metamorphosis.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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mystery author, this is cute. I love how you have crafted
this poem. Just right on with the syllable count. I like
how you've shown his metamorphosis.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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thank you jude :)
Comment from Irish Rose
Well written description of a caterpillar's life. Flows well and follows the format chosen. Keep up the good work.
Rose
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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Well written description of a caterpillar's life. Flows well and follows the format chosen. Keep up the good work.
Rose
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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thank you rose :)
Comment from rama devi
Nice nonet. I think this must be SK--iut has your style stamped on it. If not, I'd be surprised! he he he
Good syllabic structure and fine presentation with unique artistic ornamentation using simple punctuaiton devices.
I'm not sure those parenthesis work well, but they grow on me on second read.
Good luck in the contest.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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Nice nonet. I think this must be SK--iut has your style stamped on it. If not, I'd be surprised! he he he
Good syllabic structure and fine presentation with unique artistic ornamentation using simple punctuaiton devices.
I'm not sure those parenthesis work well, but they grow on me on second read.
Good luck in the contest.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 16-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2011
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you're correct :)
