Reflections For The New Day
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The Light Foreseen"21 total reviews
Comment from ChryWizard
This is a nice piece about self realization, its easy to follow, flows well and it follows the old rule....keep it simple!
Your writings are as beautiful as the woman in the picture, of the Author.
well done sweet Poet, keep it up and I might follow you home like a puppy....LOL
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This is a nice piece about self realization, its easy to follow, flows well and it follows the old rule....keep it simple!
Your writings are as beautiful as the woman in the picture, of the Author.
well done sweet Poet, keep it up and I might follow you home like a puppy....LOL
Comment Written 21-Dec-2004
Comment from robertr36
I love this poem, Jewell.
So, your dream has been revealed to you. Isn't the future a wonderful thing?
Yours in the spirit,
Rob
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I love this poem, Jewell.
So, your dream has been revealed to you. Isn't the future a wonderful thing?
Yours in the spirit,
Rob
Comment Written 06-Nov-2004
Comment from breathing melody
I thought this was really good.
I can see where some people would find critism in it being almost too 'wordy' for a free verse poem. If you get a lot of comments like that, consider condensing it a little. But I thought it was super.
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I thought this was really good.
I can see where some people would find critism in it being almost too 'wordy' for a free verse poem. If you get a lot of comments like that, consider condensing it a little. But I thought it was super.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2004
Comment from Shari_K
This seems to have a meaningful message of hope and having faith therefore not fearing the dark images. Your words are moving and very intense.
Victory is won.
I shall take this time
To wait and grow.
I have renewed my strength.
My vision is now on
What is ahead.
I see what is to come
and not where I
once basked in misery.
An encouraging poem with a very powerful ending! Excellent writing!
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This seems to have a meaningful message of hope and having faith therefore not fearing the dark images. Your words are moving and very intense.
Victory is won.
I shall take this time
To wait and grow.
I have renewed my strength.
My vision is now on
What is ahead.
I see what is to come
and not where I
once basked in misery.
An encouraging poem with a very powerful ending! Excellent writing!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2004
Comment from Graceheart
You have such a wonderful way of pullling the reader into your hopes, dreams, fears and pain! I too seek this light and you have given hope to a wondering soul with your words and images of strength! Stay your course, that light shall be yours! So moving and powerful is this piece that I was awed and encouraged by it! Start to finish, an amazing poem! Written @ a time when many readers can draw from your strength! Thak you for these hopes and your faith to write them!
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You have such a wonderful way of pullling the reader into your hopes, dreams, fears and pain! I too seek this light and you have given hope to a wondering soul with your words and images of strength! Stay your course, that light shall be yours! So moving and powerful is this piece that I was awed and encouraged by it! Start to finish, an amazing poem! Written @ a time when many readers can draw from your strength! Thak you for these hopes and your faith to write them!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2004
Comment from Night Raven
A nice poem about determination and not giving in to loss. Just by this poem, it seems you have a strong will to go on when times look desperate but you are the person to get out of that deep hole. Nice read.
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A nice poem about determination and not giving in to loss. Just by this poem, it seems you have a strong will to go on when times look desperate but you are the person to get out of that deep hole. Nice read.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2004
Comment from Miss Sarah
I think that technically, you could fix this up a little by changing the form and flow. Possibly break up the stanzas a little. I think that you have shown us a really nice progression of feelings, from misery to something less......miserable.
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I think that technically, you could fix this up a little by changing the form and flow. Possibly break up the stanzas a little. I think that you have shown us a really nice progression of feelings, from misery to something less......miserable.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2004
Comment from jonjo
The thing about reviewing is - that is is such a personal thing...
I would like to see you break this into stanzas for ease of read, and therfore by doing so, create more impact. -->
"Today I can see the light
At the end of the tunnel.
I feel I am chained down
At the opposite end,
Looking toward its brightness
And wishing I could move forward.
Trapped in this dark place,
I close my eyes
and hope to fall asleep,
so time will move faster.
Unfortunately,
sleeping takes me
to a vision of being bound
In this place that I cannot
Get out of. === small 'g' for 'get'
I see it, I know it's there.
Circumstances prevent
Me from being freed
To run toward the light.
My spirit man rises up
And begins to war against
These dark images.
Victory is won.
I shall take this time
To wait and grow.
I have renewed my strength.
My vision is now on
What is ahead.
I see what Is to come == small 'i' for 'is'
and not where I
once basked in misery."
This has a very strong message and is fluently written. 9imho) this breaking up into stanzas will vastly improve the read and is well worth considering.:-)
jj
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The thing about reviewing is - that is is such a personal thing...
I would like to see you break this into stanzas for ease of read, and therfore by doing so, create more impact. -->
"Today I can see the light
At the end of the tunnel.
I feel I am chained down
At the opposite end,
Looking toward its brightness
And wishing I could move forward.
Trapped in this dark place,
I close my eyes
and hope to fall asleep,
so time will move faster.
Unfortunately,
sleeping takes me
to a vision of being bound
In this place that I cannot
Get out of. === small 'g' for 'get'
I see it, I know it's there.
Circumstances prevent
Me from being freed
To run toward the light.
My spirit man rises up
And begins to war against
These dark images.
Victory is won.
I shall take this time
To wait and grow.
I have renewed my strength.
My vision is now on
What is ahead.
I see what Is to come == small 'i' for 'is'
and not where I
once basked in misery."
This has a very strong message and is fluently written. 9imho) this breaking up into stanzas will vastly improve the read and is well worth considering.:-)
jj
Comment Written 05-Nov-2004
Comment from amaranthblue
First the picture you chose was just beautiful. The word choices were nice and vivid in there imagery. It had a pretty decent flow to it, however it felt a little jumbled at times...
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First the picture you chose was just beautiful. The word choices were nice and vivid in there imagery. It had a pretty decent flow to it, however it felt a little jumbled at times...
Comment Written 05-Nov-2004
Comment from Bryana
We feel trapped into a place without an outlet sometimes, but, as you say it in your poem all of a sudden we can see that all is not lost, we learn and grow from the experience. Thank you for sharing your poem.
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We feel trapped into a place without an outlet sometimes, but, as you say it in your poem all of a sudden we can see that all is not lost, we learn and grow from the experience. Thank you for sharing your poem.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2004