Sories Poetically Speaking
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Joan"A complete story in written as a poem.
26 total reviews
Comment from shariannegaylee
I love this poem. It reminds me of a similar thing that happened to me, only at my 20-year high school reunion. Rivalry between girls often goes unspoken, and the way you showed the "competition" was just great!
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2011
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I love this poem. It reminds me of a similar thing that happened to me, only at my 20-year high school reunion. Rivalry between girls often goes unspoken, and the way you showed the "competition" was just great!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. This actually happened to me at a high school reunion too. The ball game worked best for the poem. Other than that it was true
Comment from marion
Hi Beth
I really enjoyed this story-like poem. I thought it was written to perfection with a great message within. What a surpise - her envying the girl who envied her! I am pleased to give Joan one of my precious six stars. Marion.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
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Hi Beth
I really enjoyed this story-like poem. I thought it was written to perfection with a great message within. What a surpise - her envying the girl who envied her! I am pleased to give Joan one of my precious six stars. Marion.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much Marion, I'm so pleased you liked this enough to consider it worthy of six stars. I was happy to have won third place on it.
Beth
Comment from Mastery
Congratulations, Beth! I had missed this one, but it certainly is deserving of the wi....I Mean the first place win at that. Good writing as usual for you. Bob
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
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Congratulations, Beth! I had missed this one, but it certainly is deserving of the wi....I Mean the first place win at that. Good writing as usual for you. Bob
Comment Written 29-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
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Thank you Bob, I really appreciate you reading and thnking ot worthy of a win.
Beth
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Had this girl named Virginia Laos who for whatever reason hated me in high school and taunted me...My sister Marilyn caught her and her little gang in the bathroom one time and told Virginia if she ever came near me again she would kick her ass! Virginia never bothered me again...but later in a little town in Texas I met Virginia again outside a barbeque joint...she said she kept hassling me because she just wanted to be my friend...good grief the things we DON'T know in school could fill a book. Great write. Loved it. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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Had this girl named Virginia Laos who for whatever reason hated me in high school and taunted me...My sister Marilyn caught her and her little gang in the bathroom one time and told Virginia if she ever came near me again she would kick her ass! Virginia never bothered me again...but later in a little town in Texas I met Virginia again outside a barbeque joint...she said she kept hassling me because she just wanted to be my friend...good grief the things we DON'T know in school could fill a book. Great write. Loved it. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 25-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2011
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Hi Kiwi, You are right. We never know what is going on in another person's mind. Thank you for the review and the nice comments.
Beth
Comment from missy98writer
Beth,
I love the moral to your story poem. I guess the grass isn't always greener for the other person. Your rhyming quatrains are excellent and the photo you used is perfect. I love Jennifer Lopez after watching an hour show on the Biography channel. It reminds me of a friend of mine who told me she envied me because I never allowed the kids in high school to categorize me into a certain group. I embraced everybody and I fought with the nasty rich girls who were mean to my friends. Your poem is a real contender in the Quatrain Poetry contest.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Beth,
I love the moral to your story poem. I guess the grass isn't always greener for the other person. Your rhyming quatrains are excellent and the photo you used is perfect. I love Jennifer Lopez after watching an hour show on the Biography channel. It reminds me of a friend of mine who told me she envied me because I never allowed the kids in high school to categorize me into a certain group. I embraced everybody and I fought with the nasty rich girls who were mean to my friends. Your poem is a real contender in the Quatrain Poetry contest.
Melissa.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you Melissa, I enjoyed your comments and I appreciate you sharing a little of your own experiences in high school.
All the Best,
Beth
Comment from RebelRose
I have heard of this happening before. We always think our rival is one to be envied. The truth is, in most cases, we all possess something that someone else would like to have. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Your poem had such great flow and a perfect rhyming scheme. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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I have heard of this happening before. We always think our rival is one to be envied. The truth is, in most cases, we all possess something that someone else would like to have. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Your poem had such great flow and a perfect rhyming scheme. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and the insightful comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Beth
Comment from juliaSjames
Quatrains are excellent for story telling. Your rhyme and meter are spot on, Beth as you recount this tale of schoolgirl rivals. So true that we're often so caught up in envying others that we don't appreciate our true worth.
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Quatrains are excellent for story telling. Your rhyme and meter are spot on, Beth as you recount this tale of schoolgirl rivals. So true that we're often so caught up in envying others that we don't appreciate our true worth.
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much julia, I guess it is pretty typical high school behavior. At the time, it never occurred to me that she actually envied me.
Beth
Comment from humpwhistle
If we were a logical species, we'd understand that all competition is a form of flattery.
I like the way your tell this story, Beth. From your girl's perspective. From your growing maturity. From your dawning that this person was not an outcast, but a rival of significance.
Finally you got to a point where you recognized that you envied her, and that is my point. Envy among rivals is always a two-way street.
My favorite rhyme is dozen/cousin. Really, Beth? Your cousin? I think that is a humpwhistle fib.
Good stuff. Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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If we were a logical species, we'd understand that all competition is a form of flattery.
I like the way your tell this story, Beth. From your girl's perspective. From your growing maturity. From your dawning that this person was not an outcast, but a rival of significance.
Finally you got to a point where you recognized that you envied her, and that is my point. Envy among rivals is always a two-way street.
My favorite rhyme is dozen/cousin. Really, Beth? Your cousin? I think that is a humpwhistle fib.
Good stuff. Peace, Lee
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you Lee, I enjoyed your comments. About the prom date it was even worse than my cousin, it was my female cousin. She was in my class and neither of us had dates. We attented without dates, but I was dating a guy from our of town who couldn't be there. I saw Joan at a class reunion and not a ball game and her name of Jo Ann, not Joan. Is that what you call a humpwhistle fib?
Beth
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Beth , I really did enjoy your tale. As far as what constitutes a humpwhistle, this is the way Dr. Vincent Albino puts it: "In every person's life there are exactly six moments of absolute truth. The rest is all humpwhistle."
By the way the Doc is of Sicilian blood, I don't beleive he is an Albino at all.
Is your female cousin still looking for a date? I'm quite the catch, you know?
Peace and humpwhistles, Lee
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Lee, I tried to look up the word humpwhistle on the net (the net knows everything) All I found was you. Dr Vincent Albino is a family practice doctor in Philidelphia. What does he know about humpwhistles. I think you made it up. LOL
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You're catching on, Beth. Everything I say is a humpwhistle. Dr. Albino is actually a black man who is not a real doctor and inhabits one of my myriad unfinished novels.
Really, if you Google humpwhistle you get me? How cool is that?
If it ain't quite fact, and it ain't quite fiction, well, what would you call it? You got something better than humpwhistle? Didn't think so.
Thanks for the chuckle Beth, Lee
Comment from stanishmichelle
Great story in a poem. There is always someone at school or work who is envious of another. The quatrain has good structure and flow. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Great story in a poem. There is always someone at school or work who is envious of another. The quatrain has good structure and flow. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and the lovely comments.
Beth
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You're welcome. Michelle
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
I like the flow (it resonates), and the rhyme scheme (b d. bd (?))
I also like the surprising twist at the end.: envy turned to humility, and reversed envy when the competitor confessed envy of the first party.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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I like the flow (it resonates), and the rhyme scheme (b d. bd (?))
I also like the surprising twist at the end.: envy turned to humility, and reversed envy when the competitor confessed envy of the first party.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and the insightful comments.
Beth