Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock

Exceptional

I don't see many reviews here, but they sure missed a good story here. This guy's deep seated hatred for his wife! So plainly seen in his dream.
How could he deny it when awake. Yes, for sure, time to see a doctor in this short and sweet tale.

:)Ralf

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020

Thanks again Ralf for the six stars and taking me down memory lane. X :) Bob

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Very graphic use of vocabulary in such a short, succinct piece. If I can picture the action in my mind's eye, then to me the author has accomplished something. Some fall short with stories of 3,000 words. You managed to do it with 100. Well done!

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013

Hi, Dean. Welcome aboard Fanstory. I am honored that you would peruse my portfolio and read this little piece. I will become a fan of yours so I will know when you post myour work also. Good luck...Bob (Mastery)

Comment from medicnate

Excellent

Very well written, especially for such a short, short story. I enjoyed this very much, but I have a mind for the macabre. Great detail and imagery in such a short period of time, nice work here.

~medicnate~

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2009

Thanks so much, Medicnate...I appreciate you taking the time and your comments too. Bob

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

OH Dear! Being a wife I'm not too happy how this turned out. I definitely know that Alex is the main character. You have going to my books for the setting, because I know the setting here is somewhere in the house or is the setting in a dream. It's not clear. Again, I see the violence, but I'm not sure about conflict. If he was torn about his actions then conflict, or if there was a fight with his wife; conflict, but I'm not seeing conflict. Again with resolution. Is his resolution to murder his wife, but then what is conflict?

compulsions that he (You don't need that.)

I'm impressed. I can't say anything in 100 words, just ask my husband.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2009

I guess the only conflict is what he wants to do and only does in his dreams...Thanks for your input, Barb...Bob

reply by barbara.wilkey on 21-Jun-2009

I'm sorry. I'm beginning to think, I'm not understanding your writing. I'm not seeing the qualities the contests are asking for. Maybe it's deeper than I'm seeing. Maybe my thinking isn't deep enough.

Comment from ~Sarina Ali-McBride~

Excellent

Very well written. I am just wondering about this part:

crack, like

Should it have been crack; like? That's how I would have written it BUT I could be wrong.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2009

Thank you, Emily...I checked and like it as is, but thanks for your input...Bob (Mastery)

reply by ~Sarina Ali-McBride~ on 21-Jun-2009

np and you're welcome :)

Comment from Nicnac

Excellent

Wow! With dreams like this one, I'd agree that insomnia is better. LOL
This is a great flash fiction piece, Bob. You have incorporated so much into this short story. You've used only 100 words and yet told a full and compelling tale.
'a wet crack, like a rain-soaked newspaper hitting the front porch' <--Frightening imagery. Yuck!

Great writing. I really enjoyed delving into this dark and scary dream. The irony of the bright shaft of sunlight at the end of this this dark story gives it a nice close.
No nits or suggestions.
Bravo.
Nic

 Comment Written 31-May-2009

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reply by the author on 31-May-2009

Thanks so much, Nic...Bless you...Bob

Comment from Veronica Grace

Exceptional

Great job! The whole story with pictures in one hundred words. Fantastic, horrid, and thrilling all at once. As usual you captured it all with imagery and few words. Good to see you, hadn't seen you for a while.Veronica

 Comment Written 28-May-2009

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reply by the author on 28-May-2009

Hi, Veronica! Yes, I was gone for two years...LOL..Missed you guys..Thanks so much for the gorgeous comeback six! I truly appreciate your comments and encouragemnt...I'll be watching for your work as well, Bob (Mastery)

Comment from SannaT

Excellent

Stunning! I love this sentence - Lately Alex's life was not shaped so much by the compulsions that he fostered; instead it was just a matter of a wrong turn in an angry moment and a disregard for consequences.

How many people's lives have been forever changed because of this same mind-set?

Great writing is such few words!

 Comment Written 25-May-2009

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reply by the author on 27-May-2009

Thanks so much, SannaT...I appreciate your taking the time....Bob

Comment from Diny

Exceptional

Even with sucha tragic theme you paint the picture well- Your flare and discriptioon are umong the best I have ever rea- your name is fitting dear Mastery! Good luck- write on-Di

 Comment Written 22-May-2009

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reply by the author on 27-May-2009

Thanks so much, Diny. Contest is over, I'm afraid I didn't do well..Yikes! LOL...You are such a sweetheart....Bob

Comment from Mrs Jones

Exceptional

How to write a novel in 100 words. I think Flash is your thing Bobbie. Though the story suggests a dream I think the title is very clever ....
Excellent work
Cheers
Rose

 Comment Written 20-May-2009

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reply by the author on 20-May-2009

Thanks oh, so much, my sweet Rosie..I don't think I earned a six, but you are so sweet to me. Thank you! Thank you! Bobbie

reply by Mrs Jones on 20-May-2009

Oh no! This definately earned a six.