How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Macro-Critting (The Wrap)"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
91 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was well written. I'm not sure about the "center" text. For some reason that nagged me as I was reading. But I thought you did a great job of sharing tips and techniques for writing. Even in this you are "showing" us which is a wonderful lesson for writers. Great job and an informative post.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
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I thought this was well written. I'm not sure about the "center" text. For some reason that nagged me as I was reading. But I thought you did a great job of sharing tips and techniques for writing. Even in this you are "showing" us which is a wonderful lesson for writers. Great job and an informative post.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
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Thanks for your encouragement and support, Michael. Wow, you had to dig deep in the "pages" to find this.
Comment from giraffmang
hi Jay,
Another excellent piece on the outset of critting. I hope a lot of people see this, as it offers an invaluable insight into the mind and perceptions of the reader. very nice
G
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
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hi Jay,
Another excellent piece on the outset of critting. I hope a lot of people see this, as it offers an invaluable insight into the mind and perceptions of the reader. very nice
G
Comment Written 16-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
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Thank you, G. I don't know how many of the Fanstorians who might value from this will have a chance to read it (certainly more, after your thoughtful gifts). This is the second, and the last day, and I have 3, including you, who found it.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
You have great tips here, especially the one about how to read. I have never encountered a word that couldn't be understood by its context, except for technical manuals. When I was a computer engineer, complicated words were par for the course. Now, I look at some of these books and am amazed that I ever read them.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
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You have great tips here, especially the one about how to read. I have never encountered a word that couldn't be understood by its context, except for technical manuals. When I was a computer engineer, complicated words were par for the course. Now, I look at some of these books and am amazed that I ever read them.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
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I'm so happy you were able to ferret it out of the swamps. Tom wouldn't allow the REVIVED certificate
Comment from barbara.wilkey
All I can really say is oh my!! You are much more technical than I am. I am a fly by the seat of my pants type of person. But we all do what works for us. I enjoyed reading.
reply by the author on 09-May-2015
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All I can really say is oh my!! You are much more technical than I am. I am a fly by the seat of my pants type of person. But we all do what works for us. I enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 09-May-2015
reply by the author on 09-May-2015
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Oh, thank you, Barbara. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Another to post--I hope tonight.
Comment from scd41
I read the entire article in one go and without scrolling. It has some down to earth tips for ambitious writers. Nearly two decades back, Bill Gates had said 'Content is the king'. Even today, it perhaps holds good. If a writer writes keeping his readers in mind, no packaging would be necessary as in case of the gift for wife's birthday. One of my favourite quote is "A writer is , after all, only half his book. The other half is the reader and from the reader the writer learns,"
reply by the author on 09-May-2015
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I read the entire article in one go and without scrolling. It has some down to earth tips for ambitious writers. Nearly two decades back, Bill Gates had said 'Content is the king'. Even today, it perhaps holds good. If a writer writes keeping his readers in mind, no packaging would be necessary as in case of the gift for wife's birthday. One of my favourite quote is "A writer is , after all, only half his book. The other half is the reader and from the reader the writer learns,"
Comment Written 09-May-2015
reply by the author on 09-May-2015
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Some excellent points, my friend, from a person who truly looks at this site with the right perspective. You will learn deeply and teach your readers through your intention. Thanks for your kindness and your generosity.
Comment from mfowler
I'm learning from you. I'm glad I've stuck with this. You're not only entertaining in your casual, yet eloquent style, but clearly knowledgeable about this subject. The book you read about reading three times makes eminent sense. I must admit the thought of reading 'War and Peace' through for a macro-recognisance is a bit daunting, but when applied to shorter works such as those on FS, I can see how sorting the wheat from the chaff would ultimately save time, or alternatively give the reader a great starting point in giving a piece a proper review. Love your writing; see you next time.
reply by the author on 09-May-2015
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I'm learning from you. I'm glad I've stuck with this. You're not only entertaining in your casual, yet eloquent style, but clearly knowledgeable about this subject. The book you read about reading three times makes eminent sense. I must admit the thought of reading 'War and Peace' through for a macro-recognisance is a bit daunting, but when applied to shorter works such as those on FS, I can see how sorting the wheat from the chaff would ultimately save time, or alternatively give the reader a great starting point in giving a piece a proper review. Love your writing; see you next time.
Comment Written 09-May-2015
reply by the author on 09-May-2015
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Your crits are so encouraging, mfowler. Thank you for that and for the prize of great worth ... the sixer! Lots more to come. Glad to have you aboard.
Comment from Donovan
I too am an ordained reader of the Great Books. Mine was while I was in high school. My parents wanted me to be educated. (My father and mother were as successful as you could ever imagine, in every way, but my Dad quit high school in his freshman year to start a business...it was the great depression. He vowed that his children would be educated so they could be successful, he never saw himself as such. Concerned he did enough, he bought the books and they proudly were lodged on a bookcase in our front room. I think it gave him a good feeling to see them and in some small way know that he was doing all he could do to help with our learning. I read Adler, I believed him. I read many of the Great Books, some, as you know were difficult, some not so much. Did they influence me, absolutely. Three degrees later and a professional career, I think they were a constant reminder of what he wanted for me. It taught us both one great principle, reading is not the purpose of a book or an article, learning is. I believe you are a very good salesman. (I subscribe to the belief the nothing happens until something is sold.) I am not sure I can be a convert to your journey, I have discussed why, but by golly I am going to be riding on the train. I told my wife I was instructed by you to remember the "first time." She quietly reminded me that if my memory was too vivid there would not be a next time. I quickly reply, the only first time I remember was when you and I were......she said, good answer, and started to unbutton her blouse. So for that, you get a sixer.
reply by the author on 09-May-2015
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I too am an ordained reader of the Great Books. Mine was while I was in high school. My parents wanted me to be educated. (My father and mother were as successful as you could ever imagine, in every way, but my Dad quit high school in his freshman year to start a business...it was the great depression. He vowed that his children would be educated so they could be successful, he never saw himself as such. Concerned he did enough, he bought the books and they proudly were lodged on a bookcase in our front room. I think it gave him a good feeling to see them and in some small way know that he was doing all he could do to help with our learning. I read Adler, I believed him. I read many of the Great Books, some, as you know were difficult, some not so much. Did they influence me, absolutely. Three degrees later and a professional career, I think they were a constant reminder of what he wanted for me. It taught us both one great principle, reading is not the purpose of a book or an article, learning is. I believe you are a very good salesman. (I subscribe to the belief the nothing happens until something is sold.) I am not sure I can be a convert to your journey, I have discussed why, but by golly I am going to be riding on the train. I told my wife I was instructed by you to remember the "first time." She quietly reminded me that if my memory was too vivid there would not be a next time. I quickly reply, the only first time I remember was when you and I were......she said, good answer, and started to unbutton her blouse. So for that, you get a sixer.
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 09-May-2015
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You are too funny, Donovan, and tell a riveting tale yourself. Like mine, your wife is grist for the story-mill. If they don't want to be part of the narrative, mine shouldn't have gone house-hunting with me and yours shouldn't have unbuttoned her blouse. God bless both and all ... but we are writers and are pimps for our readers pleasure.
Meanwhile thanks so much for the sixer, Donovan. I'm thrilled to have you reading my stuff. I'm impressed but not surprised about your three degrees and your professional career. What was your career in, if I may get nosey?
Jay
Comment from --Turtle.
(I eased into this writing ... easily, immediately liking the voice and pace of the read. I appreciated the humor, firstmost, and was comfortable with the sentences as they came as I saw the reins on the grammar and structure, and began trusting the driver, thereby not getting weary or hung up on the sentences themself.)
Drinking made me dizzy at first, then pukey afterwards.
--Funny, dreaming has the same effect on me. I found the one or the other point interesting.
--had the goofiest smile crazed joy could produce (I stumbled around the adjective string here in this sentence. I blame the versatility of crazed or my desire to link words to crazed, but the second time through, it made sense. I don't often recommend a 'that' be added to a sentence, but a forced railing might have kept me from slipping.)
(By the third or fourth section of reading, I found myself absorbing information, which is nice, because a lot of time I spend considering why a sentence is rubbing me the wrong way, or where is the echo coming from, or what is the writer trying to make me feel, see, or understand, and am I getting it. A work is in good flow when I don't have to stop, or stop only to say, Hey, I didn't have to stop. I don't want to stop, but sometimes I'm jettisoned so far out of someone's reading, I find myself examining the do's and don'ts of what my reaction was. 'Cause really, reading someone else's work on a reviewing level is all about me, and what I think worked and didn't work and why. Sometimes, however, I'm jettisoned because I'm recognizing something is working on me in a good way with the writing, and I want to mentally highlight why, as well as tell the writer... hey, good job through here.
I suggest an intimate relationship between the reader and the scroll-button.
(Ah that is always my intent, but this only works if running on pavement, or at least if the hurdles aren't too big. If I'm tossed out of my read and have to crawl back in, I peep as I get back in, but yes... understanding the whole of reading is more than the bits and pieces. Don't start looking at a painting with your nose jammed up the frame. Step back, and move forward. I get it. I even do it sometimes. Time allowing.)
While I enjoyed watching you scroll, above ... now, with some trepidation--okay, some titillation,
(I thought of the use of 'you' through this section. The effect of the direct engagement placed on the reader, and the reflective nature of the subject was ... I don't know, I liked it. I was forced to recognize that I was part of the reading as the reader, which is a tad like being pointed at by a performer when you prefer to stay a nonexistent member of a crowd, but also entertaining. I thought it worked well in investing the reader, make them part of the thought process.)
My eyes are glazed. I'm not thinking, I'm intuitive as all hell--I qualify!)
(Oh, I like this a lot. Not only am I not rubbed raw by general bad writing practices, but I am entertained and interested in the topic. There is patience and thought in the path provided me this read. And there is a practical honesty in the application of a review described here. I didn't follow the format you described in my own feedback to you. Really I'm just describing back the ride you took me on to the best of my feeble capabilities. As a reviewer here, I connect with the experience you are describing.)
this oatmeal-thick block of words to the end.
(A great way to describe this phenomenon. I was easily able to relate as a reviewer to this as well.)
Second Selection: a short story, about the same length.
grade-book (gradebook) Gradebook is a real word.
Before continuing, I need to ask a question: Am I right assuming most writers on FanStory want to have their work published? (I think most writers on Fanstory want to have their work read. Some want it published, and a fewer some of those want it good. The ego and id are hard at work, and the format of Fanstory merges all levels of 'endgoal' in the same pot. Sometimes the results are disastrous! You have serious writers bonking grammar hammers on the heads of non-serious writers who just want share, and you have super nice readers telling serious writers everything is amazing great when they are not, and I mean oh-my-god not. And you have the starstruck, those who might be serious but can't see past rating.
Wheeee, and round and round they go. Baa. Sorry. The question struck a nerve in me.
over-worked (overworked) it is a real word, some words don't really need the hyphen
under-paid (underpaid),
(The story of the wife and present was a lovely setup of a pointed thought regarding visual stimulus, and beyond. I thought, you have strong hold on where you want to lead the reader, and you control the images. It is a pleasant and relaxing flow)
--
overall, I left this read with a few things to consider on my reviewing, but also my writing. I thought the voice of style was consistent and pleasing. The show and tell engaged.
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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(I eased into this writing ... easily, immediately liking the voice and pace of the read. I appreciated the humor, firstmost, and was comfortable with the sentences as they came as I saw the reins on the grammar and structure, and began trusting the driver, thereby not getting weary or hung up on the sentences themself.)
Drinking made me dizzy at first, then pukey afterwards.
--Funny, dreaming has the same effect on me. I found the one or the other point interesting.
--had the goofiest smile crazed joy could produce (I stumbled around the adjective string here in this sentence. I blame the versatility of crazed or my desire to link words to crazed, but the second time through, it made sense. I don't often recommend a 'that' be added to a sentence, but a forced railing might have kept me from slipping.)
(By the third or fourth section of reading, I found myself absorbing information, which is nice, because a lot of time I spend considering why a sentence is rubbing me the wrong way, or where is the echo coming from, or what is the writer trying to make me feel, see, or understand, and am I getting it. A work is in good flow when I don't have to stop, or stop only to say, Hey, I didn't have to stop. I don't want to stop, but sometimes I'm jettisoned so far out of someone's reading, I find myself examining the do's and don'ts of what my reaction was. 'Cause really, reading someone else's work on a reviewing level is all about me, and what I think worked and didn't work and why. Sometimes, however, I'm jettisoned because I'm recognizing something is working on me in a good way with the writing, and I want to mentally highlight why, as well as tell the writer... hey, good job through here.
I suggest an intimate relationship between the reader and the scroll-button.
(Ah that is always my intent, but this only works if running on pavement, or at least if the hurdles aren't too big. If I'm tossed out of my read and have to crawl back in, I peep as I get back in, but yes... understanding the whole of reading is more than the bits and pieces. Don't start looking at a painting with your nose jammed up the frame. Step back, and move forward. I get it. I even do it sometimes. Time allowing.)
While I enjoyed watching you scroll, above ... now, with some trepidation--okay, some titillation,
(I thought of the use of 'you' through this section. The effect of the direct engagement placed on the reader, and the reflective nature of the subject was ... I don't know, I liked it. I was forced to recognize that I was part of the reading as the reader, which is a tad like being pointed at by a performer when you prefer to stay a nonexistent member of a crowd, but also entertaining. I thought it worked well in investing the reader, make them part of the thought process.)
My eyes are glazed. I'm not thinking, I'm intuitive as all hell--I qualify!)
(Oh, I like this a lot. Not only am I not rubbed raw by general bad writing practices, but I am entertained and interested in the topic. There is patience and thought in the path provided me this read. And there is a practical honesty in the application of a review described here. I didn't follow the format you described in my own feedback to you. Really I'm just describing back the ride you took me on to the best of my feeble capabilities. As a reviewer here, I connect with the experience you are describing.)
this oatmeal-thick block of words to the end.
(A great way to describe this phenomenon. I was easily able to relate as a reviewer to this as well.)
Second Selection: a short story, about the same length.
grade-book (gradebook) Gradebook is a real word.
Before continuing, I need to ask a question: Am I right assuming most writers on FanStory want to have their work published? (I think most writers on Fanstory want to have their work read. Some want it published, and a fewer some of those want it good. The ego and id are hard at work, and the format of Fanstory merges all levels of 'endgoal' in the same pot. Sometimes the results are disastrous! You have serious writers bonking grammar hammers on the heads of non-serious writers who just want share, and you have super nice readers telling serious writers everything is amazing great when they are not, and I mean oh-my-god not. And you have the starstruck, those who might be serious but can't see past rating.
Wheeee, and round and round they go. Baa. Sorry. The question struck a nerve in me.
over-worked (overworked) it is a real word, some words don't really need the hyphen
under-paid (underpaid),
(The story of the wife and present was a lovely setup of a pointed thought regarding visual stimulus, and beyond. I thought, you have strong hold on where you want to lead the reader, and you control the images. It is a pleasant and relaxing flow)
--
overall, I left this read with a few things to consider on my reviewing, but also my writing. I thought the voice of style was consistent and pleasing. The show and tell engaged.
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Three needs your lovely crit stirred in me: first, to combine the hyphenated words; the second is to fan you, since anyone who can crit so effectively is a writer in his/her own right, and I want to read your stuff; and thirdly I am adding your name to my Thumbs Up folder, as one of those I want to be sure and recognize the critiquing genius of, that is, when I get a new supply of them.
Funny, ADDING a that to a sentence. I have so many littering my rough draft that I put the word in my find/replace function on WORD and get rid of about ten percent. I remember that specific one was iffy. I opted to go with economy and yanked it. Now I need to return it. Thanks for your keen critical eyesight.
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Hey, Jay... I read through your critter chapt four again. : )
Where I failed two years ago in this review... to clarify where I meant the added 'that' should go
You have:
I had the goofiest smile crazed that joy could produce pasted to my face...
I meant for it to be:
I had the goofiest smile that crazed joy could produce pasted to my face...
Something to recheck... though otherwise, I still think this chapter is a super read for anyone who writes or reads others work with a critical eye.
--Turtle.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. I enjoyed this! I cringed in a few places and laughed in others(I hope that is allowed)...as always I appreciate your 'voice'.
I am a little rusty at reviewing so can't say I am good looking for SPAG, sorry.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Hi. I enjoyed this! I cringed in a few places and laughed in others(I hope that is allowed)...as always I appreciate your 'voice'.
I am a little rusty at reviewing so can't say I am good looking for SPAG, sorry.
padumachitta
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Blessings, and deep scads of thanks for your kind words and oh, so beautiful chartreuse cross! Glad you're enjoying this.
Comment from Annette Gulliver
I think we all get starry eyed about being a great author one day, lazing by the pool in the Bahamas, cocktail in hand, while the dollars roll in from our avid readers. But back down to earth with a thud we come (or most of us anyway). I really enjoy your way of 'critting'. Since you have started to crit me, I shudder when I press the post button, but I do look forward to your honest and helpful reviews.
I'm looking forward to your next lesson lol
bye
Annettew
reply by the author on 07-May-2015
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I think we all get starry eyed about being a great author one day, lazing by the pool in the Bahamas, cocktail in hand, while the dollars roll in from our avid readers. But back down to earth with a thud we come (or most of us anyway). I really enjoy your way of 'critting'. Since you have started to crit me, I shudder when I press the post button, but I do look forward to your honest and helpful reviews.
I'm looking forward to your next lesson lol
bye
Annettew
Comment Written 07-May-2015
reply by the author on 07-May-2015
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You are too sweet, Annette. Thank you for your usual kindness. I just posted the last chapter of Bent: Wake or Cross. If you've read the others you'll want to catch that. Hey! What is this a commercial?