How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Macro/Micro Critting"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
127 total reviews
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi, Jay,
I read this several days ago, and have been waiting for a quiet moment to write down my thoughts. I went with six stars, because ... even though I read this days ago, there were images floating in my head, lingering, even days later. I love how you take down to earth aspects that have an autobiographical edge of yourself and use it as anchor points to secure a more complicated emotion/ thought process, along with a behind the curtain lesson.
It's easy to find yourself at a certain frame of mind given human activities... the starbucks and cokes on a day trip ... but then to take that and use it as a noose to capture something that could easily become a lecture, it's difficult for me to describe, but not difficult for me to appreciate.
And those establishments always have restrooms, so our bladders are never entirely full.
(The foundation for this personal tidbit visual of two people in a car is very smooth and engaging, too me. A strong balance of taking everyday external environment objects and capturing unsumarizable personality internals.
Could life be any sweeter when you have with you the
(It is the enjoyment of these types of perfect setups that I appreciate in life. Especially when I've been taking my eye off the ball. Meaning ... I'm miffed at my significant other and it's got me extra goopey for simple moments that can mean so much.)
loos. Understand us, Critters, and love us ... in spite of it.
(The voice of this chapter so far takes what I love about your biography voice, and ties it into your teaching voice. Pleasing -- the both of them, but slowly the reader is woven into their chair... almost forgetting that we were here to get some rubber and roads of critting, only to have, at the snap of a finger, it click into place that the foundation of evaluating a house you don't plan to buy, from behind the shield of a cup of starbucks and a good weekend jaunt, does have ties to macro critting. And my curiosity prepares me to get into the nitty gritty of anothers reviewing philosophy.
kids to stay in their rooms and be quiet.
(I really like how you handle perceived activity, from the outside of the house. Keeping the POV stable while also engaging the imagination to show use anticipation. In this, you make the people selling the house real people we can relate to, and kind of sympathize with, and not just cardboard cut outs.)
with an inclination of my head (I don't know, but I wanted some punctuation here) first right, then left--to the houses
Plywood covers one window, like a patch over an eye. The
roof. An engine-gutted pick-up (pickup)? is hunkered in
striking the bubbling crude." I am thinking out loud.
(oh snap, a snappy burn... : D It tickled my snob bone.
I frown. No one wants to be called a snob. I direct
(Lol, very entertaining. The showing of this banter... between self and better half, is very easy to imagine.)
coverings are white and lacey(lacy?) and corseted to the
(actually not sure. I'm very bad at spelling... I looked in google, and I couldn't find lacey)
And thorns prick, even through gloves, when you cart the
(This is neat, because what I thought here was, look how the mind is actively assessing. Noticing the thorns for the roses and not swayed by the blooms for the work. Pragmatic thought.)
I rested enough and in the right frame of mind?
(Oh, crunch, I don't know if I'm ever in the right frame of mind. But I appreciate the bedside manner exposed, the tact. The remembering that each of these bits of soul floating around in virtual space of black and white letters is precious to someone.)
Roseana and I choose weekends to house hunt, so we'll be relaxed. (the comma isn't necessary... though it's also probably fine as is... I just got excited because I recognized a hidden 'so that' which unlike the coordinating conjunction 'so' ... doesn't need a comma. It works with the comma as a forced pause... though)
wouldn't, would we? Well, would we?
(I think this is an effective stop and think moment. Planting the seed of behaving with maturity, with a sense of being in the right state to think as reasonably as one can... considering the prone human nature to bring along baggage for the ride)
individually, to deal with that dilemma.
(Thank goodness that I am only as prolific as my reviewing pace. : D )
more formalized, rhymed and metered variety?
(This is some solid stuff. I, personally, enjoy seeing peoples' reviewing philosophies, how they handle things. The refreshing thing is you gently pat the elephant in the corner of everyone's mind without making the thing rear up and stampede. It's a beautiful thing. Without condensation, without judgment, there's a thought process that everyone can step-by-step think about on facing a random thing to review. )
Don't you even consider that brand of logic, Jay!
(I love how you take the reader directly along with your thoughts through here. One arm around the reader, they get to experience the tug of war of rationalization.)
unseen judge that I am over eighteen. Oh, my!
(By here, the wry humor had me giggling. swearing to an unseen judge... Awesomeness. So slightly, you wave your hand over the bits that might have reviewers leaving reviews complaining of too much violence, too much sex, too much profanity... It happens and it feathers get ruffled and if only the reviewer took a minute to stop and think things through.)
choose to stay here--am I liable to treat my neighbors unfairly?" (really great tie-backs in flow to the foundation image planted from the start... the house hunting ... it's like David Bowie's stunt hands in Labryinth ... where the crystal ball is rolling from one hand to the other.)
can I help but improve my own writing skills?
(And this aspect of your reviewing lesson is like preaching to the choir to me... I dissect writing with trying to figure out what makes something so good... what makes me slip into the flow... as well as, what is making my brain hurt?? (so I can avoid doing that... and unravel the aspects of effective writing versus non effective writing. I probably get more out of reviewing than some reviews. I probably shouldn't have said probably.)
what expectations should we, fellow critters--have of the
(I also like the way you lay a question out before the answer, sometimes opting to leave the question stew in the subconcious while you attack a thought from multiple angles. In a way, you are herding the thought process, and laying a hook to get a reader to come back for the next chapter)
Also like the endearing way this ended, when I left it in my head to stew those days, it was like a ghosted image of a woman with a California sun in her eyes, voice overlay and all.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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Hi, Jay,
I read this several days ago, and have been waiting for a quiet moment to write down my thoughts. I went with six stars, because ... even though I read this days ago, there were images floating in my head, lingering, even days later. I love how you take down to earth aspects that have an autobiographical edge of yourself and use it as anchor points to secure a more complicated emotion/ thought process, along with a behind the curtain lesson.
It's easy to find yourself at a certain frame of mind given human activities... the starbucks and cokes on a day trip ... but then to take that and use it as a noose to capture something that could easily become a lecture, it's difficult for me to describe, but not difficult for me to appreciate.
And those establishments always have restrooms, so our bladders are never entirely full.
(The foundation for this personal tidbit visual of two people in a car is very smooth and engaging, too me. A strong balance of taking everyday external environment objects and capturing unsumarizable personality internals.
Could life be any sweeter when you have with you the
(It is the enjoyment of these types of perfect setups that I appreciate in life. Especially when I've been taking my eye off the ball. Meaning ... I'm miffed at my significant other and it's got me extra goopey for simple moments that can mean so much.)
loos. Understand us, Critters, and love us ... in spite of it.
(The voice of this chapter so far takes what I love about your biography voice, and ties it into your teaching voice. Pleasing -- the both of them, but slowly the reader is woven into their chair... almost forgetting that we were here to get some rubber and roads of critting, only to have, at the snap of a finger, it click into place that the foundation of evaluating a house you don't plan to buy, from behind the shield of a cup of starbucks and a good weekend jaunt, does have ties to macro critting. And my curiosity prepares me to get into the nitty gritty of anothers reviewing philosophy.
kids to stay in their rooms and be quiet.
(I really like how you handle perceived activity, from the outside of the house. Keeping the POV stable while also engaging the imagination to show use anticipation. In this, you make the people selling the house real people we can relate to, and kind of sympathize with, and not just cardboard cut outs.)
with an inclination of my head (I don't know, but I wanted some punctuation here) first right, then left--to the houses
Plywood covers one window, like a patch over an eye. The
roof. An engine-gutted pick-up (pickup)? is hunkered in
striking the bubbling crude." I am thinking out loud.
(oh snap, a snappy burn... : D It tickled my snob bone.
I frown. No one wants to be called a snob. I direct
(Lol, very entertaining. The showing of this banter... between self and better half, is very easy to imagine.)
coverings are white and lacey(lacy?) and corseted to the
(actually not sure. I'm very bad at spelling... I looked in google, and I couldn't find lacey)
And thorns prick, even through gloves, when you cart the
(This is neat, because what I thought here was, look how the mind is actively assessing. Noticing the thorns for the roses and not swayed by the blooms for the work. Pragmatic thought.)
I rested enough and in the right frame of mind?
(Oh, crunch, I don't know if I'm ever in the right frame of mind. But I appreciate the bedside manner exposed, the tact. The remembering that each of these bits of soul floating around in virtual space of black and white letters is precious to someone.)
Roseana and I choose weekends to house hunt, so we'll be relaxed. (the comma isn't necessary... though it's also probably fine as is... I just got excited because I recognized a hidden 'so that' which unlike the coordinating conjunction 'so' ... doesn't need a comma. It works with the comma as a forced pause... though)
wouldn't, would we? Well, would we?
(I think this is an effective stop and think moment. Planting the seed of behaving with maturity, with a sense of being in the right state to think as reasonably as one can... considering the prone human nature to bring along baggage for the ride)
individually, to deal with that dilemma.
(Thank goodness that I am only as prolific as my reviewing pace. : D )
more formalized, rhymed and metered variety?
(This is some solid stuff. I, personally, enjoy seeing peoples' reviewing philosophies, how they handle things. The refreshing thing is you gently pat the elephant in the corner of everyone's mind without making the thing rear up and stampede. It's a beautiful thing. Without condensation, without judgment, there's a thought process that everyone can step-by-step think about on facing a random thing to review. )
Don't you even consider that brand of logic, Jay!
(I love how you take the reader directly along with your thoughts through here. One arm around the reader, they get to experience the tug of war of rationalization.)
unseen judge that I am over eighteen. Oh, my!
(By here, the wry humor had me giggling. swearing to an unseen judge... Awesomeness. So slightly, you wave your hand over the bits that might have reviewers leaving reviews complaining of too much violence, too much sex, too much profanity... It happens and it feathers get ruffled and if only the reviewer took a minute to stop and think things through.)
choose to stay here--am I liable to treat my neighbors unfairly?" (really great tie-backs in flow to the foundation image planted from the start... the house hunting ... it's like David Bowie's stunt hands in Labryinth ... where the crystal ball is rolling from one hand to the other.)
can I help but improve my own writing skills?
(And this aspect of your reviewing lesson is like preaching to the choir to me... I dissect writing with trying to figure out what makes something so good... what makes me slip into the flow... as well as, what is making my brain hurt?? (so I can avoid doing that... and unravel the aspects of effective writing versus non effective writing. I probably get more out of reviewing than some reviews. I probably shouldn't have said probably.)
what expectations should we, fellow critters--have of the
(I also like the way you lay a question out before the answer, sometimes opting to leave the question stew in the subconcious while you attack a thought from multiple angles. In a way, you are herding the thought process, and laying a hook to get a reader to come back for the next chapter)
Also like the endearing way this ended, when I left it in my head to stew those days, it was like a ghosted image of a woman with a California sun in her eyes, voice overlay and all.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2017
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I don't know why, but I've been having trouble getting this answered, Turtle. I sent it in and then thanked you for the 6 star rating. Said basically the same in both. Just know how much I appreciate you, my dear friend.
Comment from w.j.debi
You have an intriguing way of speaking directly to the reader. I feel like you are sitting across from me telling the story about house hunting as an introduction and metaphor for the advice you are about to give on what to consider before beginning to 'crit'. It is a great way to hook me as a reader and draw me in to the essay.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
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You have an intriguing way of speaking directly to the reader. I feel like you are sitting across from me telling the story about house hunting as an introduction and metaphor for the advice you are about to give on what to consider before beginning to 'crit'. It is a great way to hook me as a reader and draw me in to the essay.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2017
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I'm quite conscious of doing just that, W.J. I picture myself speaking directly to the reader, even anticipating what his/her questions are to my words so I can address them in my writing. I know when I'm too far afield in this last part when the reader responds based on his/her confusion. Thank you so much for your flattering words. Sometimes it's just what my ego needs.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was really interesting, the metaphor of going to open houses to critiquing the written work is a brilliant idea and works very well. (Aren't you clever??) I didn't realise this was the 2nd part, I thought it was still part one, hence my delay i n reading. I have picked up several helpful hints in this part, and I already have a thought as to where the next part will take us, regarding coming in at chapter ?? to review. I'll see if I'm right in a minute. Well done, my friend, I love everything you write it's an education in itself. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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That was really interesting, the metaphor of going to open houses to critiquing the written work is a brilliant idea and works very well. (Aren't you clever??) I didn't realise this was the 2nd part, I thought it was still part one, hence my delay i n reading. I have picked up several helpful hints in this part, and I already have a thought as to where the next part will take us, regarding coming in at chapter ?? to review. I'll see if I'm right in a minute. Well done, my friend, I love everything you write it's an education in itself. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 30-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2017
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Bet you're wrong! LOL, thank you, Sandra. A post is incomplete without Sandra's crit!
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LOL!! xxxx
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is very good, and very accurate. It drives me nuts when someone starts reading in the middle of my book and tells me that they don't understand who the characters are, or why they relate to each other in certain ways. One reviewer always reads my chapters in reverse order because that's the way they arrive in her message box. I reply .ouy knahT.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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This is very good, and very accurate. It drives me nuts when someone starts reading in the middle of my book and tells me that they don't understand who the characters are, or why they relate to each other in certain ways. One reviewer always reads my chapters in reverse order because that's the way they arrive in her message box. I reply .ouy knahT.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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Thanks, Thomas, I appreciate your kind crit. Reads your chapters in reverse, huh. She must love 2 cent reads. LOl.
Comment from Curly Girly
I also enjoy visiting open houses. The real estate agents here tend to follow up and put pressure on, so I don't attend as many as I would like to.
Ha-ha!....
But wait! You only have two "member cent pumps" and $3.42 in member dollars in your stash, and the story you promoted yesterday is already beginning its inevitable greased descent. You need to pump some life in it, and you need to do it now. You need to pump ... it ... up .... I guess it's up to each of us, individually, to deal with that dilemma.
Ah, those FS poems. Most are nice, easy, quick reads; but some--eh! I fear I misinterpreted some old lady's poem and now I have had to put her on MUTE.
Poetry can be a mine field.
A fun read, Jay.
Nicole
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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I also enjoy visiting open houses. The real estate agents here tend to follow up and put pressure on, so I don't attend as many as I would like to.
Ha-ha!....
But wait! You only have two "member cent pumps" and $3.42 in member dollars in your stash, and the story you promoted yesterday is already beginning its inevitable greased descent. You need to pump some life in it, and you need to do it now. You need to pump ... it ... up .... I guess it's up to each of us, individually, to deal with that dilemma.
Ah, those FS poems. Most are nice, easy, quick reads; but some--eh! I fear I misinterpreted some old lady's poem and now I have had to put her on MUTE.
Poetry can be a mine field.
A fun read, Jay.
Nicole
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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Thanks, Nicole. I'm glad you enjoyed it. NO profound insights yet. Hopefully one is coming down the road.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jay, a very entertaining piece as usual and I hope you've been re-united with Roseana. I agree with most of what your saying here but disagree with one thing, and that is about critting poetry. I don't have a clue about all the complicated forms of writing poetry. But should that prevent me from reading it and give the only opinion I can? Namely, what did I feel about it, what sentiment did it give me, if any, and did I enjoy it. I always tell the author that is what I base my review on. Never the form, because I can't. Poems are a lot if not mostly about feeling, sentiment and the image it evokes in you. If I don't like it at all, I skip.
I'm looking forward to your next instalment. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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Hi Jay, a very entertaining piece as usual and I hope you've been re-united with Roseana. I agree with most of what your saying here but disagree with one thing, and that is about critting poetry. I don't have a clue about all the complicated forms of writing poetry. But should that prevent me from reading it and give the only opinion I can? Namely, what did I feel about it, what sentiment did it give me, if any, and did I enjoy it. I always tell the author that is what I base my review on. Never the form, because I can't. Poems are a lot if not mostly about feeling, sentiment and the image it evokes in you. If I don't like it at all, I skip.
I'm looking forward to your next instalment. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Ulla, for giving me input, even on what you disagreed with. That's important for me also, so I can make adjustments in my thinking. We're not far apart in that, actually. If it is metered poetry and I find something that doesn't sound a part of the meter, I'll tell him that. But usually, I go in with my feelings on the poem's meaning. Again, thanks, Ulla. I appreciate your candor.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
So, let's say the selection I have chosen to look at (to decide whether or not I'll crit) is chapter seventeen of a crime/thriller novel. By now, most characters are well developed, a few are killed off, and the story line has taken many twists and turns. What, then, should the writer expect of me as a critter? And what expectations should I--what expectations should we, fellow critters--have of the writer?'
This is a constant cause of concern for me. I then feel obliged to read everything by that person but there are not enough hours in the day. I love your acerbic humour and no word of a lie love reading your critting pieces very much-they a hilarious and always on the button. kind regards and keep on critting as will I Meia x
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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So, let's say the selection I have chosen to look at (to decide whether or not I'll crit) is chapter seventeen of a crime/thriller novel. By now, most characters are well developed, a few are killed off, and the story line has taken many twists and turns. What, then, should the writer expect of me as a critter? And what expectations should I--what expectations should we, fellow critters--have of the writer?'
This is a constant cause of concern for me. I then feel obliged to read everything by that person but there are not enough hours in the day. I love your acerbic humour and no word of a lie love reading your critting pieces very much-they a hilarious and always on the button. kind regards and keep on critting as will I Meia x
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Meia. You are a staple to my series. People like you who read with their eyes open and speak with candor. That's what I need.
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I am honoured thankyou so much :) M
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Jay were you sneaking a peak into my brain just now? lmao! I re-entered the world of FanStory with one think in mind. To learn how to write prose. I tell myself daily that there is a story inside my head somewhere. So far there isn't but, do I let that stop me. Oh hell no! I've been criticized for writing romance poetry although frankly I think that could be debated on some of my pieces. The thing is I do believe if you are going to stop by and read my work, I should be paying for it in some way. I mean time is money, No? So I have studiously been reading not just poetry but a heap of prose as well (see I'm here with you right now). I do not in about 95% of the time discriminate a 2 cent post or a $1.00 post. I am finding out that my vocabulary is getting better and when I respond, I write the story there as you can tell by this responses length. I'm enjoying your lessons about the Critter world too. A wise master are you! Cheeky, perhaps but you do make a lot of sense. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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Jay were you sneaking a peak into my brain just now? lmao! I re-entered the world of FanStory with one think in mind. To learn how to write prose. I tell myself daily that there is a story inside my head somewhere. So far there isn't but, do I let that stop me. Oh hell no! I've been criticized for writing romance poetry although frankly I think that could be debated on some of my pieces. The thing is I do believe if you are going to stop by and read my work, I should be paying for it in some way. I mean time is money, No? So I have studiously been reading not just poetry but a heap of prose as well (see I'm here with you right now). I do not in about 95% of the time discriminate a 2 cent post or a $1.00 post. I am finding out that my vocabulary is getting better and when I respond, I write the story there as you can tell by this responses length. I'm enjoying your lessons about the Critter world too. A wise master are you! Cheeky, perhaps but you do make a lot of sense. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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Bless you, Kiwi! You learn from me and I learn how to approach the rich soil of your Romance poetry. As I explained earlier, I tend to ascribe meanings and feelings that may not even be there. But I'm counting on you changing my oatmeal into heaven.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I'm having trouble reconciling househunting with critting on FS. I still don't know what this is "about"... if anything. Why would you sit in the car reviewing posts when you and your wife have decided to look at the yellow house?
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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I'm having trouble reconciling househunting with critting on FS. I still don't know what this is "about"... if anything. Why would you sit in the car reviewing posts when you and your wife have decided to look at the yellow house?
Comment Written 28-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
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I didn't go back to the car. I went into an alternate universe of reviewing. LOL, actually it was my attempt at an extended metaphor comparing the choice of a house with the decision making for the choice of a selection to review. But it goes deeper than that. You are a straight-forward, no-nonsense storyteller. I am full of nonsense, which I use to try to get the reader to look at simple reality in a different way. Strangely, though, if you read the reviews you'll see that yours was the only one that took a logical, commonsense approach to what I (the protagonist) did when I left my wife on the sidewalk.
I thank you, Phyllis, for reading this, and for your candor.
Comment from Rasmine
We are lookey-loos (is it 'looky' Jay?). Understand us, Critters, and love us ... in spite of it. Rather, from my emotional center (comma) the answer will come of itself with a resounding "Yes! Yes!" Or it will be a "Yuk!" If it is a "Yuk," now is not the time, nor is this the place, to begin a program of poetry appreciation--not at the expense of the poem in question.
Okay, well, sometimes I just do it just to get the member cents -- I'll admit it to everyone! Okay, Jay, to next time!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2017
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We are lookey-loos (is it 'looky' Jay?). Understand us, Critters, and love us ... in spite of it. Rather, from my emotional center (comma) the answer will come of itself with a resounding "Yes! Yes!" Or it will be a "Yuk!" If it is a "Yuk," now is not the time, nor is this the place, to begin a program of poetry appreciation--not at the expense of the poem in question.
Okay, well, sometimes I just do it just to get the member cents -- I'll admit it to everyone! Okay, Jay, to next time!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2017
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Don't ya hate it when you spend time on a review, only to find it didn't take? That happened to five of them, including yours. Just know I am happy my post resonated with you. Good to know we're not the only looky-loos, no matter how it's spelled. LOL, thanks Rasmine.
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I found that by cutting it, I can edit and then cut and paste it back in the box. :P
I have ten more review dollars than I can post, so now I'm just running on empty. But I do point out errors if I see them.
Take care Jay,
Rasmine