Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Chapter 25 Willing Hearts"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
18 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
Another awesome addition. I like that you said the LLC was committng crimes they were not interested in. That is a spot on characterization of the Feds.
This part is slightly off:
Bob finished his first Kabob. "Boss, I think maybe The Bureau needs to hire Sami to help with team building. She's good at this."
The only agency referred to as the Bureau is the FBI. CIA is the Agency. Home Land Security is always referred to as The Department. Not a big deal as probably only a fed would catch it.
Great read!
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Another awesome addition. I like that you said the LLC was committng crimes they were not interested in. That is a spot on characterization of the Feds.
This part is slightly off:
Bob finished his first Kabob. "Boss, I think maybe The Bureau needs to hire Sami to help with team building. She's good at this."
The only agency referred to as the Bureau is the FBI. CIA is the Agency. Home Land Security is always referred to as The Department. Not a big deal as probably only a fed would catch it.
Great read!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
Comment from lyenochka
I am glad that Noah has made Sami his priority. He'll have much more sane and happy life thanks to understanding love. I like how you had Sami create this BBQ team building event. Is it a BBQ? Where is the fire? Inside the house or outside?
Oh and one thing keeps bugging me. I never heard of "Galvin" as a first name, it's usually an Irish last name. Typically, it's Gavin as a first name but I figured you must know a Galvin. There's a Calvin but never met a Galvin.
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I am glad that Noah has made Sami his priority. He'll have much more sane and happy life thanks to understanding love. I like how you had Sami create this BBQ team building event. Is it a BBQ? Where is the fire? Inside the house or outside?
Oh and one thing keeps bugging me. I never heard of "Galvin" as a first name, it's usually an Irish last name. Typically, it's Gavin as a first name but I figured you must know a Galvin. There's a Calvin but never met a Galvin.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
Comment from Wendy G
I don't think anyone can change overnight regatdless of good intentions, so I hope it all works out in the way they hope and plan. The reality of everyday life will be a very different one. Best wishes to them both though!
Wendy
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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I don't think anyone can change overnight regatdless of good intentions, so I hope it all works out in the way they hope and plan. The reality of everyday life will be a very different one. Best wishes to them both though!
Wendy
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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There will be some more bumps in the road. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from T B Botts
Hi Barbara,
I see things are finishing up. That's a good thing, everything needs a start, middle and finish. I would have a hard time reading it if I didn't believe there was going to be an end to the matter. I hope Noah will be able to follow through with the way he feels now. When they leave protective custody, all of their lives will change, and the dynamics that were prevailing in the cabin might change. I guess we'll see.
Blessings,
TOm
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Hi Barbara,
I see things are finishing up. That's a good thing, everything needs a start, middle and finish. I would have a hard time reading it if I didn't believe there was going to be an end to the matter. I hope Noah will be able to follow through with the way he feels now. When they leave protective custody, all of their lives will change, and the dynamics that were prevailing in the cabin might change. I guess we'll see.
Blessings,
TOm
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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There will be some more bumps in the road. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
I gather weare really close top the end of this great story. You have done well as you always do in your writing. If they are what I think..like chicken on sticks?? we call them kebabs. I have several sources of gluten-free ones, now. I might write about it.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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I gather weare really close top the end of this great story. You have done well as you always do in your writing. If they are what I think..like chicken on sticks?? we call them kebabs. I have several sources of gluten-free ones, now. I might write about it.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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There will be some more bumps in the road. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
They all have interesting plans, but plans have a way of not working out. I hope Noah can keep his promise, but his job is very demanding. He may need to think about a new job.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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They all have interesting plans, but plans have a way of not working out. I hope Noah can keep his promise, but his job is very demanding. He may need to think about a new job.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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There will be some more bumps in the road. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from forestport12
Dialogue and interaction so good it kept me in the moment, which is really one of the benefits of dialogue, a present perspective. But you should teach a class on dialogue. Your exchanges are not complete sentences or missing words to bring realism in how they speak. Loved it carried me into the scene at the safe house and the kabobs. If I put chicken on one, I'm spoiled, I love it when meat is super tender or in a slow cook stew. I should spend more time reading your stuff, cause it reminds me how to write.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Dialogue and interaction so good it kept me in the moment, which is really one of the benefits of dialogue, a present perspective. But you should teach a class on dialogue. Your exchanges are not complete sentences or missing words to bring realism in how they speak. Loved it carried me into the scene at the safe house and the kabobs. If I put chicken on one, I'm spoiled, I love it when meat is super tender or in a slow cook stew. I should spend more time reading your stuff, cause it reminds me how to write.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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There will be some more bumps in the road. Thank you for the kind review. Thank you for the encouragement. I enjoy listening to people speak.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, the writing and editing are fine. But the story feels to be stretched. The plot seems to be over, yet things continue... why? I recommend thinking about what is needed and what isn't.
notes:
"You've been here for twenty-five days. I've been with you for twenty days, almost three weeks."
-And this is a problem with "the formula" love in three weeks???
"Sami, I won't let it happen," said Noah as he stood.
"You can't promise that." Sami held out her hand. "We'd better get back to reality."
-Why can't he? Can he not get another job? How does she not understand that?
Noah frowned. "I'm not sure..."
"Noah, there isn't a threat," interrupted Sarah
-Wait. We were just told Sami was going home Thursday. This thread of concern or dialogue doesn't make sense.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Hmm, the writing and editing are fine. But the story feels to be stretched. The plot seems to be over, yet things continue... why? I recommend thinking about what is needed and what isn't.
notes:
"You've been here for twenty-five days. I've been with you for twenty days, almost three weeks."
-And this is a problem with "the formula" love in three weeks???
"Sami, I won't let it happen," said Noah as he stood.
"You can't promise that." Sami held out her hand. "We'd better get back to reality."
-Why can't he? Can he not get another job? How does she not understand that?
Noah frowned. "I'm not sure..."
"Noah, there isn't a threat," interrupted Sarah
-Wait. We were just told Sami was going home Thursday. This thread of concern or dialogue doesn't make sense.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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There will be some more bumps in the road. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, This is another great chapter and I feel we're soon reaching the end of the story. Now they are soon to be out and away from the protective environment. We'll learn soon enough how that will pan out. A hug. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Hi Barbara, This is another great chapter and I feel we're soon reaching the end of the story. Now they are soon to be out and away from the protective environment. We'll learn soon enough how that will pan out. A hug. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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There will be some more bumps in the road. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
It's. No secret that Noah has been enslaved by his commitment to work, in a sense it's been his first love, now something and someone has forcefully, but gently pushed that aside, and now, like one's parents take another role, one's perspective partner can and should be the priority, well done, Barbara, blessings
Roy
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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It's. No secret that Noah has been enslaved by his commitment to work, in a sense it's been his first love, now something and someone has forcefully, but gently pushed that aside, and now, like one's parents take another role, one's perspective partner can and should be the priority, well done, Barbara, blessings
Roy
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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There will be some more bumps in the road. Thank you for the kind review.
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Most welcome Barbara,