Peace and Pressure
A free verse11 total reviews
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hello again Jess! (Port Raid Review #2)
I was watching this poem in the contest it was in, because I was also in that contest. I knew it was yours, because I had looked at your port and saw it, even though it was blind. As the voting continued, I was absolutely floored that it did so poorly. I think it is excellent and could have very easily won. If I was not in the contest myself, you would have gotten my vote.
So, our narrator seems to be at his/her best when the "weather" is the most fierce. In the beginning of the poem, you use words like "grapples" and "burden" and "consumes" to illustrate that the narrator struggles when circumstances are easy and predictable ("sunlit sky," "soft and soothing breeze," "cloudless calm"). This sets the contrast of the poem on its way, showing the unexpected quality of the narrator.
Then, there is a "shift" as the "storm inside" emerges. The sky is "darkening," yet the narrator is "steady" in this. There is then a comparison between the narrator's inner "tension" and the pressure of the atmosphere as the outer storm develops. There is a "tolerance" inside the narrator of this turmoil; he/she seems to thrive under the pressure, is used to the "common,/coming crisis." The narrator is "rooted" (protected, armored) against it all! The "paradox" becomes: the more outer turmoil the narrator experiences, the more inner calm he/she feels.
So, what do we make of this? It certainly is brilliant on its own -- this paradox shown using the weather as a metaphor. But if we were to go further and extrapolate what the poem is trying to say, do we comment on the narrator proud of his/her strength to endure the trials of life? Or do we take it the other way and see the narrator as someone who enjoys pain and turmoil, who thrives on self-harm and is happiest when they should be unhappy? It could be read either way, which makes the poem more universal in its interpretation.
Some pressure readings from the eye of the poem:
---"I grapple with the silence/of a sunlit day's contentment," --Oh, the iambic bounciness is so lovely!
---"a common,/coming crisis." --A nod to your use of alliteration, although I could have pulled out four of the stanzas to show this!
---"and the chaos felt/in calmness/turns to stillness in/the storm." --Wherever it is inside you--whether it is in your brain, your heart, or your tummy--that appreciates great lines of poetry must surely have flashed red and tickled you when you wrote this line. It is absolutely one of your best! Why?
--Contrast (chaos-calmness)
--rhythmic assonance (calmness-stillness)
--all that awesome sibilance (chaos-calmness-turns-stillness-storm)
--perfect iambic bounciness
--the absolute pin-point meaning of the entire poem, right here, the paradox displayed for all! I mean, just look at this! The narrator feels chaotic in the calmness and manages to turn it into "stillness in the storm!" This is next-level! It's almost as if the narrator has an emotional barometer that lowers on the inside as the barometer measuring the storm rises on the outside. I could just keep going and going, but no need. Put this one up beside the 5th Stanza of "Black" as a flawless and peerless stanza!
Oh my! I do not mean to demean our fellow members, but it takes some patience and time to appreciate the best poetry. Most don't bother. THIS poem deserved to win the contest. Alas, no 6-stars left.
But if I had one ...
Pookie says his brain is hurting. I can't blame him. He's a bird. His brain is much smaller than yours and mine. Interpreting your wonderful poetry is worth every minute of my time. I know sometimes I may lay it on thick, but again, when I am writing these reviews and reading your poetry, the words just pour out of me. What can I say? (evidently a lot, actually *laughs*)
Okay, one more to go! By the way, I love what you have done with the welcoming plaza in your port. The statue to Sylvia Plath in the center is beautiful! [In case this confuses you, it's just me making stuff up, pretending I am actually Eyepatch Patrick IN your port of call. I say this so from now on, when I do a Port Raid, you will understand my silliness.]
Eyepatch Patrick (and Pookie)
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Hello again Jess! (Port Raid Review #2)
I was watching this poem in the contest it was in, because I was also in that contest. I knew it was yours, because I had looked at your port and saw it, even though it was blind. As the voting continued, I was absolutely floored that it did so poorly. I think it is excellent and could have very easily won. If I was not in the contest myself, you would have gotten my vote.
So, our narrator seems to be at his/her best when the "weather" is the most fierce. In the beginning of the poem, you use words like "grapples" and "burden" and "consumes" to illustrate that the narrator struggles when circumstances are easy and predictable ("sunlit sky," "soft and soothing breeze," "cloudless calm"). This sets the contrast of the poem on its way, showing the unexpected quality of the narrator.
Then, there is a "shift" as the "storm inside" emerges. The sky is "darkening," yet the narrator is "steady" in this. There is then a comparison between the narrator's inner "tension" and the pressure of the atmosphere as the outer storm develops. There is a "tolerance" inside the narrator of this turmoil; he/she seems to thrive under the pressure, is used to the "common,/coming crisis." The narrator is "rooted" (protected, armored) against it all! The "paradox" becomes: the more outer turmoil the narrator experiences, the more inner calm he/she feels.
So, what do we make of this? It certainly is brilliant on its own -- this paradox shown using the weather as a metaphor. But if we were to go further and extrapolate what the poem is trying to say, do we comment on the narrator proud of his/her strength to endure the trials of life? Or do we take it the other way and see the narrator as someone who enjoys pain and turmoil, who thrives on self-harm and is happiest when they should be unhappy? It could be read either way, which makes the poem more universal in its interpretation.
Some pressure readings from the eye of the poem:
---"I grapple with the silence/of a sunlit day's contentment," --Oh, the iambic bounciness is so lovely!
---"a common,/coming crisis." --A nod to your use of alliteration, although I could have pulled out four of the stanzas to show this!
---"and the chaos felt/in calmness/turns to stillness in/the storm." --Wherever it is inside you--whether it is in your brain, your heart, or your tummy--that appreciates great lines of poetry must surely have flashed red and tickled you when you wrote this line. It is absolutely one of your best! Why?
--Contrast (chaos-calmness)
--rhythmic assonance (calmness-stillness)
--all that awesome sibilance (chaos-calmness-turns-stillness-storm)
--perfect iambic bounciness
--the absolute pin-point meaning of the entire poem, right here, the paradox displayed for all! I mean, just look at this! The narrator feels chaotic in the calmness and manages to turn it into "stillness in the storm!" This is next-level! It's almost as if the narrator has an emotional barometer that lowers on the inside as the barometer measuring the storm rises on the outside. I could just keep going and going, but no need. Put this one up beside the 5th Stanza of "Black" as a flawless and peerless stanza!
Oh my! I do not mean to demean our fellow members, but it takes some patience and time to appreciate the best poetry. Most don't bother. THIS poem deserved to win the contest. Alas, no 6-stars left.
But if I had one ...
Pookie says his brain is hurting. I can't blame him. He's a bird. His brain is much smaller than yours and mine. Interpreting your wonderful poetry is worth every minute of my time. I know sometimes I may lay it on thick, but again, when I am writing these reviews and reading your poetry, the words just pour out of me. What can I say? (evidently a lot, actually *laughs*)
Okay, one more to go! By the way, I love what you have done with the welcoming plaza in your port. The statue to Sylvia Plath in the center is beautiful! [In case this confuses you, it's just me making stuff up, pretending I am actually Eyepatch Patrick IN your port of call. I say this so from now on, when I do a Port Raid, you will understand my silliness.]
Eyepatch Patrick (and Pookie)
Comment Written 11-Oct-2024
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jessica,
This is a well done free verse about how the silence after the storm or the peace after solving the problem can seem dangerous sometimes. But it is good to get used to it and enjoy it before the next storm comes.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Hope you are having and enjoyable weekend.
Joan
P S If I have not told you already, I have recently published a book that is available on Amazon.com.. It is called "The Interloper (and other stories in prose and poetry)" by Joan Pechter. If I have, I am sorry for the repetition.
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Hi Jessica,
This is a well done free verse about how the silence after the storm or the peace after solving the problem can seem dangerous sometimes. But it is good to get used to it and enjoy it before the next storm comes.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Hope you are having and enjoyable weekend.
Joan
P S If I have not told you already, I have recently published a book that is available on Amazon.com.. It is called "The Interloper (and other stories in prose and poetry)" by Joan Pechter. If I have, I am sorry for the repetition.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2024
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Jessica,
I love the comparison and contrast in your profound poem. It's paradoxical, and very beautifully written.
I love the photo too. I play the cello.
Best wishes,
Blessings,
Cindy
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Jessica,
I love the comparison and contrast in your profound poem. It's paradoxical, and very beautifully written.
I love the photo too. I play the cello.
Best wishes,
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 28-Sep-2024
Comment from Begin Again
We all face trials on a daily basis, and it is ours to choose to face them, weather the storm, or let it beat us down. For a moment, it reminded me of the gymnast walking and flipping around on the balance beam. I gasp, hold my breath, and applaud when we accomplish another day.
Smiles, Carol
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We all face trials on a daily basis, and it is ours to choose to face them, weather the storm, or let it beat us down. For a moment, it reminded me of the gymnast walking and flipping around on the balance beam. I gasp, hold my breath, and applaud when we accomplish another day.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 28-Sep-2024
Comment from Wendy G
This is most interesting and requires several readings. The juxtaposition of opposites is thoughtful, and thought-provoking, as well as cleverly done. Perhaps there is this tension within us all as we try to walk the balance beam of life. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
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This is most interesting and requires several readings. The juxtaposition of opposites is thoughtful, and thought-provoking, as well as cleverly done. Perhaps there is this tension within us all as we try to walk the balance beam of life. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
I found the contrasts between the pressure and peace to be interesting as the transition takes place. I like the phrase, "I shift beside the weather." I hope I perceived the metaphor correctly as you wrote it. Well done and Good Luck.
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I found the contrasts between the pressure and peace to be interesting as the transition takes place. I like the phrase, "I shift beside the weather." I hope I perceived the metaphor correctly as you wrote it. Well done and Good Luck.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
Comment from Y. M. Roger
A beautiful free verse for the contest here -- your words that tie the day's strong emotions to the ebb and flow of a storm are very well phrased and presented -- thank you so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest!
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A beautiful free verse for the contest here -- your words that tie the day's strong emotions to the ebb and flow of a storm are very well phrased and presented -- thank you so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Peace and Pressure, finds the poet amid the day with the ambience of climate and breeze adding to the pleasure of being outside with nature.
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This poem, Peace and Pressure, finds the poet amid the day with the ambience of climate and breeze adding to the pleasure of being outside with nature.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
Comment from Samantha Quinn Snow
Great job with this! What a wonderful piece about finding your footing in troubled times. The use of alliteration really help make your words pop and the flow of the poem is really well done.
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Great job with this! What a wonderful piece about finding your footing in troubled times. The use of alliteration really help make your words pop and the flow of the poem is really well done.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Nicely done! I love how the storm becomes familiar - almost a companion. The line "to wear the weather" stood out to me. It's such a unique way to describe strength. This poem is wonderful!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Nicely done! I love how the storm becomes familiar - almost a companion. The line "to wear the weather" stood out to me. It's such a unique way to describe strength. This poem is wonderful!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024