Summer Slips Away
The seasonal cycle8 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I love the endurance of the rose, our next door neighbours nurtured and tended their own rose bushes, and those bushes still survive, although much muted but lack of attention, could still be revived today by an enthusiast, there is much to enthuse about the rose, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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I love the endurance of the rose, our next door neighbours nurtured and tended their own rose bushes, and those bushes still survive, although much muted but lack of attention, could still be revived today by an enthusiast, there is much to enthuse about the rose, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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I, too, am a fan of the rose!!!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
The best part of Texas is my roses, they quit blooming during the heat of summer but wait! they will continue to bloom until the end of December, once it cools down. The tomatoes will produce until then too. We stop getting tomatoes once the weather gets above 95. I enjoyed reading your Haiku entry and sending you the best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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The best part of Texas is my roses, they quit blooming during the heat of summer but wait! they will continue to bloom until the end of December, once it cools down. The tomatoes will produce until then too. We stop getting tomatoes once the weather gets above 95. I enjoyed reading your Haiku entry and sending you the best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Thank you, my friend!
Comment from BethShelby
This is a nicely written haiku. I'm not ready for fall. Last week the tempature hit a 100. Now it is four days into September and I'm acutally cold. Fall can be nice but I hate to see the roses go. Good luck with the contest. This is could the winner.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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This is a nicely written haiku. I'm not ready for fall. Last week the tempature hit a 100. Now it is four days into September and I'm acutally cold. Fall can be nice but I hate to see the roses go. Good luck with the contest. This is could the winner.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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It is a sign of the times!
Comment from Jeanette Marie
Beautiful Haiku to feel the change of seasons. Can also feel this might relate to more than just summer to fall? Love the words and the meaning. Great job!
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Beautiful Haiku to feel the change of seasons. Can also feel this might relate to more than just summer to fall? Love the words and the meaning. Great job!
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2024
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Goodness, thank you for the awesome rating and kind words! I struggled with the words in this Haiku quite a bit.
Yes! It did have a double meaning, but you are the only one who picked up on it. Thank you!
Douglas
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Very nicely done, Doug! I like the way you've included the autumn season so subtly here. A delicately phrased 5-7-5 with a touch of poignancy in a presentation that practically wafts its scent on to the page. Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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Very nicely done, Doug! I like the way you've included the autumn season so subtly here. A delicately phrased 5-7-5 with a touch of poignancy in a presentation that practically wafts its scent on to the page. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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That middle stanza is kicking my arse😩😩😩
Fragrant or gracefully
Waft or dance
Haiku is not for the faint of heart. Ha!
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I like waft. Dance is a bit choreographed whereas waft is more drifting and random (if any of that makes sense)
Comment from Wendy G
Very lovely short poem. I do wonder if the petals are graceful, or whether it is their descent which is graceful. What abour "Fragrant petals" to tie in with "scent"? Nevertheless you have captured well the beauty of the fading rose as it loses its petals at the sunset of its life.
Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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Very lovely short poem. I do wonder if the petals are graceful, or whether it is their descent which is graceful. What abour "Fragrant petals" to tie in with "scent"? Nevertheless you have captured well the beauty of the fading rose as it loses its petals at the sunset of its life.
Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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Wendy! Arghhh!!!
I have struggled with that second stanza bouncing back and forth from :
Fragrant to graceful
Waft to dance.
This Haiku be kickin my butt 😩
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Lol. It is still beautiful.
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hello Douglas!
I absolutely love the first line of your Haiku! The use of the word "sunset" evokes the end of something, but at the same time, declares it beautiful. This is precisely what must be done in short poetry. You have to make single words connote multiple meanings, and "sunset" does that perfectly. I also appreciate the subtle use of sibilant alliteration -- "sunset," "rose," "graceful," "scent," and "descends." The pattern of this sibilance unites your poem well.
One thing I might suggest. Please understand that it is ultimately the decision of the poet and not the reader who chooses the words to a poem. But, just in case you are looking for feedback, I have to admit that I'm not crazy about the word "waft" in combination with "petals." First, gases tend to waft, not solids. I sense what you are getting at, but you are transforming the petals themselves into a scent rather then indicating their fragrance. It is a small thing, but in a Haiku this type of precision is essential. I hesitate to recommend a word in such a short poem, but I am happy to give it to you in case you like it. If you changed "graceful" to "perfumed," "perfume," or "fragrant," you draw the reader's attention to the smell of the petals rather than their motion, for when I first read it, I was picturing rose petals descending to the ground like feathers, and this does not jibe with "waft." Anyway, you lose an instance of sibilance by replacing "graceful," but you gain a strong alliteration with "perfumed petals." In any event, I have gone on way too long about this. I hope you see this as me trying me best to help you fine-tune an already excellent Haiku. Take my advice as you will, and thank you for sharing your talent!
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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Hello Douglas!
I absolutely love the first line of your Haiku! The use of the word "sunset" evokes the end of something, but at the same time, declares it beautiful. This is precisely what must be done in short poetry. You have to make single words connote multiple meanings, and "sunset" does that perfectly. I also appreciate the subtle use of sibilant alliteration -- "sunset," "rose," "graceful," "scent," and "descends." The pattern of this sibilance unites your poem well.
One thing I might suggest. Please understand that it is ultimately the decision of the poet and not the reader who chooses the words to a poem. But, just in case you are looking for feedback, I have to admit that I'm not crazy about the word "waft" in combination with "petals." First, gases tend to waft, not solids. I sense what you are getting at, but you are transforming the petals themselves into a scent rather then indicating their fragrance. It is a small thing, but in a Haiku this type of precision is essential. I hesitate to recommend a word in such a short poem, but I am happy to give it to you in case you like it. If you changed "graceful" to "perfumed," "perfume," or "fragrant," you draw the reader's attention to the smell of the petals rather than their motion, for when I first read it, I was picturing rose petals descending to the ground like feathers, and this does not jibe with "waft." Anyway, you lose an instance of sibilance by replacing "graceful," but you gain a strong alliteration with "perfumed petals." In any event, I have gone on way too long about this. I hope you see this as me trying me best to help you fine-tune an already excellent Haiku. Take my advice as you will, and thank you for sharing your talent!
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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Great suggestions! Always appreciated!
Comment from Begin Again
I noticed today that my roses are becoming less and less plentiful...so fall is on its way. You painted the picture, Doug...so I have you to blame. Have to blame someone right? Nice work!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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I noticed today that my roses are becoming less and less plentiful...so fall is on its way. You painted the picture, Doug...so I have you to blame. Have to blame someone right? Nice work!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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It is already cold here 😩
