The Wrong Decision
She thought he was the one.2 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
This is very good. A bit sad and funny at the end. Well done.
notes:
He calls again, "Why not jump? I'll catch you"
-He calls again, "Why not jump? I'll catch you." (add punctuation_
But then he turned and sneezed. I blow past like a breeze.
-But then he turns and sneezes. I blow past like a breeze. (Maintain that present tense)
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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This is very good. A bit sad and funny at the end. Well done.
notes:
He calls again, "Why not jump? I'll catch you"
-He calls again, "Why not jump? I'll catch you." (add punctuation_
But then he turned and sneezed. I blow past like a breeze.
-But then he turns and sneezes. I blow past like a breeze. (Maintain that present tense)
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Will edit. Thanks for the suggestions and the review.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought your poem cleverly blends humor with a touch of tragedy. What an amusing story you share here! I love the romantic build up and the unexpected twist at the end was such a surprise! haha It's a witty and creative take on the "loves me, loves me not" theme of this contest!
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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I thought your poem cleverly blends humor with a touch of tragedy. What an amusing story you share here! I love the romantic build up and the unexpected twist at the end was such a surprise! haha It's a witty and creative take on the "loves me, loves me not" theme of this contest!
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much for your thoughtful review.