Sandra's Lover
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Mark gets his freedom at a cost"A macabre crime thriller. Grotesque and detailed.
1 total reviews
Comment from Aiona
This chapter is engrossing. I feel such pity for Mark for having such uncaring folks surrounding him. He needed to have a stable family. Instead, he was surrounded by people who were only looking out for themselves and their selfish desires, no matter who was hurt by infidelity or neglect. I saw several typos. Here are some:
1. "The driver obviously new the route and silently drove."
I think you meant "knew" instead of "new."
2. "At this point mother, I think your time for making demands on me is over."
Since Mark is addressing his mother, there should be commas on either side. Like this:
"At this point, mother, I think your time for making demands on me is over."
3. "I hope Father that your extra escapades aren't a depraved as MOTHERS."
I think you meant "as" instead of "a." "Father" needs commas around it, since Mark is addressing him. Also... "MOTHERS" is a possessive, not a plural noun, right? So it should be "Mother's."
4. "He needed to get control on himself."
Perhaps a better preposition would be "over" instead of "on."
5. "They kept tabs on his progress over the years, but true to Marks word, he never returned to that house."
I think you meant "Mark's" instead of "Marks."
Well done! I hope Mark finds better people to be with in his life!!!!!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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This chapter is engrossing. I feel such pity for Mark for having such uncaring folks surrounding him. He needed to have a stable family. Instead, he was surrounded by people who were only looking out for themselves and their selfish desires, no matter who was hurt by infidelity or neglect. I saw several typos. Here are some:
1. "The driver obviously new the route and silently drove."
I think you meant "knew" instead of "new."
2. "At this point mother, I think your time for making demands on me is over."
Since Mark is addressing his mother, there should be commas on either side. Like this:
"At this point, mother, I think your time for making demands on me is over."
3. "I hope Father that your extra escapades aren't a depraved as MOTHERS."
I think you meant "as" instead of "a." "Father" needs commas around it, since Mark is addressing him. Also... "MOTHERS" is a possessive, not a plural noun, right? So it should be "Mother's."
4. "He needed to get control on himself."
Perhaps a better preposition would be "over" instead of "on."
5. "They kept tabs on his progress over the years, but true to Marks word, he never returned to that house."
I think you meant "Mark's" instead of "Marks."
Well done! I hope Mark finds better people to be with in his life!!!!!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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Aiona - thank you ever so much for your feedback! My spell check didn't catch those!
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You're welcome! I love finding typos. It's like doing a word-search puzzle.
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Please keep going!