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Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Theo's Response "Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
19 total reviews
Comment from Aiona
Engrossing chapter! I could see why you couldn't find a place to stop. From what I read, I gather this is told mostly from Echo's POV (point of view). I love the beginning of this chapter, where we get some of Echo's deep POV. But towards the latter part of the chapter, it seems to be more third-person omniscient. I wanted more of Echo. Here's an example:
From the earlier part of the chapter:
"He was so handsome, and yet, so very deadly. She was like an addict, hating what had a hold on her, but being unable to resist it."
He was handsome, which is descriptive, but not with images, but with how Echo feels about his attractiveness.
From a later part of the chapter:
"And I'm here, too," Brian Baker announced. He stood behind his father in full armor, a sword hanging by his side. "And at your service."
It is descriptive, for sure. I can see Brian Baker. But how does this image of him make Echo feel? Is she feeling protected? Is she anxious about him getting hurt? Or is she feeling proud? Or loving? How does this image impact her feelings and how will it induce her to speak or behave? I wanted more Echo. :) People (or gods, actually) were talking around her, but I wasn't understanding how Echo was reacting to it other than being surprised. Need more Echo. :)
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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Engrossing chapter! I could see why you couldn't find a place to stop. From what I read, I gather this is told mostly from Echo's POV (point of view). I love the beginning of this chapter, where we get some of Echo's deep POV. But towards the latter part of the chapter, it seems to be more third-person omniscient. I wanted more of Echo. Here's an example:
From the earlier part of the chapter:
"He was so handsome, and yet, so very deadly. She was like an addict, hating what had a hold on her, but being unable to resist it."
He was handsome, which is descriptive, but not with images, but with how Echo feels about his attractiveness.
From a later part of the chapter:
"And I'm here, too," Brian Baker announced. He stood behind his father in full armor, a sword hanging by his side. "And at your service."
It is descriptive, for sure. I can see Brian Baker. But how does this image of him make Echo feel? Is she feeling protected? Is she anxious about him getting hurt? Or is she feeling proud? Or loving? How does this image impact her feelings and how will it induce her to speak or behave? I wanted more Echo. :) People (or gods, actually) were talking around her, but I wasn't understanding how Echo was reacting to it other than being surprised. Need more Echo. :)
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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Hi Aiona, thank you for the review and comments. You were so absolutely right about not showing enough of Echo's thoughts and feelings. I was trying to put too much into this long chapter, and I think a sentence or two would have done what you asked. I appreciate those thoughts,
Rhonda
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Wow, what an amazing chapter, Rhonda! I love it. It looks like Hades is about to be defeated!! Apollo is such a nice god, he would give up his place on the council so Theo can have it. But what is he, and his twin, bringing in that mist? I can see a happy ending for Theo and Echo, and the rest of the world. Apollo won't end up like Hades did. I think this story is amazing, my friend, now don't take too long bringing in the next chapter. Love it! :)) Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
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Wow, what an amazing chapter, Rhonda! I love it. It looks like Hades is about to be defeated!! Apollo is such a nice god, he would give up his place on the council so Theo can have it. But what is he, and his twin, bringing in that mist? I can see a happy ending for Theo and Echo, and the rest of the world. Apollo won't end up like Hades did. I think this story is amazing, my friend, now don't take too long bringing in the next chapter. Love it! :)) Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment Written 09-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
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Hi Sandra!! Thanks for the six stars, my friend!! Hades is about to go down. Apollo will stay on the Council, he will just be the new god of the dead. Hades is the one about to be deposed. I will try on the next chapter, but have a very full weekend ahead, lol.
Love and hugs back,
Rhonda
Comment from Teri7
Rhonda, This is a really good chapter. You used great descriptive words and imagery from your words. All the pictures you used were really good too. Thank you for sharing! love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
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Rhonda, This is a really good chapter. You used great descriptive words and imagery from your words. All the pictures you used were really good too. Thank you for sharing! love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 08-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
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Hi Teri, thank you so much for the six stars, my friend. What a lovely gesture. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I'm also glad you liked the pictures. They help me stay focused.
Hugs,
Rhonda
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You are so welcome! I am so much enjoying this story!
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Awww, thank you!!!
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
Another wonderful chapter for the book with marvelous dialogue and sparring between the two sides. Theo has good reason to be confident having already given the gift of immortality to Echo long ago in the safety of that cave.
It's about time Apollo showed up and joined the action. Nice little twist having him also work for the paper with the name "Sun".
And now the Nix twins appear. Poor Hades, all by his lonesome self.
I never thought of the Nix twins as Hades superiors, that's news to me.
But I like the idea.
It appears Theo is about to fulfill his challenge. But will he now have to pull the sun around every day? Sounds boring.
Excellent chapter with a well thought out plot line.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Hello Rhonda,
Another wonderful chapter for the book with marvelous dialogue and sparring between the two sides. Theo has good reason to be confident having already given the gift of immortality to Echo long ago in the safety of that cave.
It's about time Apollo showed up and joined the action. Nice little twist having him also work for the paper with the name "Sun".
And now the Nix twins appear. Poor Hades, all by his lonesome self.
I never thought of the Nix twins as Hades superiors, that's news to me.
But I like the idea.
It appears Theo is about to fulfill his challenge. But will he now have to pull the sun around every day? Sounds boring.
Excellent chapter with a well thought out plot line.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 08-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Hi Robert!
Thanks for the brilliant six stars. They are as appreciated as your commentary.
The Twins are the sons of Nyx, or night, and are the only ones to whom the gods have to answer. They very seldom every get involved and have to be tricked or coerced into helping. This part is actually real Greek Mythology and not just my tinkering with their stories, lol, which is what I do when I put Apollo in charge of the Underworld.
Yeah, Apollo got a little tired of the sun and chariot business, himself. That will be addressed later as well.
Thanks, as, always, for your insightful review,
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
So, it looks like Hades can't possibly win now, with Thanatos and Hypnos standing with the other Gods, and Apollo taking Hades' position, it sounds like things are going to be a little better now, with Theo and Echo being together, beautifully written Rhonda, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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So, it looks like Hades can't possibly win now, with Thanatos and Hypnos standing with the other Gods, and Apollo taking Hades' position, it sounds like things are going to be a little better now, with Theo and Echo being together, beautifully written Rhonda, blessings Roy
Comment Written 08-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Hi Roy,
You're right, the big fight is over, just resolution now. There will be one or two chapters more, then I'm calling this book done!!
Much thanks for staying with it the whole way.
Rhonda
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Just loved it Rhonda
Comment from Daylily
Outstanding...so much is provided here. The path for accomplishing it has to have taken a lot of significant planning to make it work. Many kudos to you, my friend!
Again, you have left us with another terrific cliff hanger! :-)
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Outstanding...so much is provided here. The path for accomplishing it has to have taken a lot of significant planning to make it work. Many kudos to you, my friend!
Again, you have left us with another terrific cliff hanger! :-)
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Hi Lily,
Thank you so much for your beautiful six star review!! I appreciate the time you've taken to keep up with this book. It has, maybe, two chapters left.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Could use of juxtaposition: " He was so handsome, and yet, so very deadly." there is a twist in the way the reader is to perceive things: ""We do now," Thanatos said. He stepped away from his brother. "And I don't think I need remind you that with a wave of my hand, I can make you mortal. You are way out of control and I will not hesitate to do as I've threatened." fi love the verbal spiraling at the end of this chapter.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Could use of juxtaposition: " He was so handsome, and yet, so very deadly." there is a twist in the way the reader is to perceive things: ""We do now," Thanatos said. He stepped away from his brother. "And I don't think I need remind you that with a wave of my hand, I can make you mortal. You are way out of control and I will not hesitate to do as I've threatened." fi love the verbal spiraling at the end of this chapter.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Hi Liz, thank you so much for reviewing and for including the parts that stood out to you. Very helpful, indeed.
Take care,
Rhonda
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***SMILE***
Comment from Pam (respa)
An excellent chapter, Rhonda. A very good beginning that showcases the love that Theo and Echo have for each other. He speaks out against Hades claim that he had made Echo immortal, and Theo explains why. A good job taking us back in time when Echo and Theo first knew each other and sharing the prophecy.
It was a surprise to see people from when Echo was a reporter. An interesting revelation about the prophecy regarding Hades that he said Poseidon made up to scare him, and then the heavens responded, revealing the displeasure of Hades' behavior and lack of principles. In contrast to that, I like the responses by Hypnos and Thanatos about the importance of the earth.
A very good ending to the chapter with the interesting decision that Apollo made, followed by the actions of Hypnos and Thanatos to accentuate and reinforce the decision.
Very well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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An excellent chapter, Rhonda. A very good beginning that showcases the love that Theo and Echo have for each other. He speaks out against Hades claim that he had made Echo immortal, and Theo explains why. A good job taking us back in time when Echo and Theo first knew each other and sharing the prophecy.
It was a surprise to see people from when Echo was a reporter. An interesting revelation about the prophecy regarding Hades that he said Poseidon made up to scare him, and then the heavens responded, revealing the displeasure of Hades' behavior and lack of principles. In contrast to that, I like the responses by Hypnos and Thanatos about the importance of the earth.
A very good ending to the chapter with the interesting decision that Apollo made, followed by the actions of Hypnos and Thanatos to accentuate and reinforce the decision.
Very well done, my friend.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Pam, thank you so much for the six star rating, and for your comments on each of my main points. It was a long read, but kind of had to flow that way.
The characters from the newspaper were foreshadowed long ago, and was one of the things you and I talked about on the technique. Of course, it's hard to keep long foreshadowing up when you take a year to write a book. I'll bring a few more things up in the next two chapters that will tie everything in together as well.
You're right about how Hade's tried to talk his way, and excuse his way, out of what he'd done, but Thanatos and Hypnos weren't buying it. The twins, also, had something to learn and grow from. They found a lot of value in Theo and the way he handled his quest.
I took a huge twist to Greek mythology by having Apollo take Hades' place, but I wanted to show that people can use their positions to make excuses for their behavior, but find someone else just might handle it differently.
Again, thanks so much,
Rhonda
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. I appreciate your reply and the reminder about foreshadowing. I think it is okay that the newspaper people were foreshadowed; that was helpful. I didn't know that is what you were referring to when you asked.
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There were several places I used it, some places with a little more to the foreshadow and in others, just a little hint.
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Sounds like a good idea.
Comment from Jacob1395
I could really feel Hades' anger when he realised he'd been tricked. The dialogue in your piece is excellent Rhonda, and I thought it did a great job of moving the pace of your story along, keeping me really engaged. I really enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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I could really feel Hades' anger when he realised he'd been tricked. The dialogue in your piece is excellent Rhonda, and I thought it did a great job of moving the pace of your story along, keeping me really engaged. I really enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Hi Jacob, thank you so very much for reviewing a chapter in a book that you are catching the end of. Of course, that's helpful to me as you can see it as its own entity rather than as a part of the bigger whole.
Take care and thanks,
Rhonda
Comment from lyenochka
That's really quite a backstory. I'm glad that it was Theo who granted immortality to Echo. It seems he already knew that was his fate. Great that Thanatos and Hypnos showed up when they did. A lot of new information here and it seems that Echo and Theo belong to one another. I guess even if death is part of Theo's domain, perhaps it would just be a cycle of nature as perennial flowers die in the fall and bloom again in the spring.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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That's really quite a backstory. I'm glad that it was Theo who granted immortality to Echo. It seems he already knew that was his fate. Great that Thanatos and Hypnos showed up when they did. A lot of new information here and it seems that Echo and Theo belong to one another. I guess even if death is part of Theo's domain, perhaps it would just be a cycle of nature as perennial flowers die in the fall and bloom again in the spring.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
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Hi Helen,
I hope this resolution is better for you than it seemed was coming! Theo will have to explain some things to Echo, like why he hadn't told her she was immortal already.
While Echo and Theo belong together, it's important to note she had to make a choice and that she had the freedom to do so. Still more resolving to do.
Hugs,
Rhonda
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Ah, that makes sense. Even Persephone wasn't forced and it was her choice to eat those pomegranate seeds.
Since you know more about Greek/Roman mythology, how did you understand the painting The Feast of the Gods, by Jan van Bijlert from 1635? Some claim that is the painting referenced by the opening ceremony of the Olympics, not the Last Supper. I never really read much about Bacchus/Dionysius - but thought he was the god of wine and outright debauchery.