Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I think our dreams change over time. I enjoyed the snippets of childhood entertainment that you covered from baseball to monopoly games and air guitar. But honestly, I never dreamed about getting rich on Wall Street or traveling to Monaco. Over time, our dreams are for our children to have a happy and fulfilled life as we become more "comfortable within our skins". I agree with St. Paul in what he wrote in 1 Timothy 6: "6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it."

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024

Thanks for your perspective on the piece. I wanted to articulate this sense that we never stop dreaming; while our dreams change, from those air guitar riffs and monopoly games to get rich quick schemes, dreaming as an adult is pretty much the same escape as it was when we were kids. estory

Comment from Steve Foreman

Excellent

This is a very nice, evocative and emotive poem, that resonates with me and my emotions.

I am not a fan of free-form poetry (I am an old fashioned "The Moon in June shines mainly on the Goon" type of writer, but this is well written story that I enjoyed. Well done.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the poem. I still read some classic poetry, I like some Frost or Keats once in a while, but generally I have always pushed into new types of creating music in language. I have been a big student of poets like Denise Levertov and Jack Anderson, along with Seamus Heaney and his off rhyme technique. estory

Comment from Brenda Strauser

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your poem. I feel as though it is like a soul searching poem. Life is so difficult. Facing reality can be tough. Dreams take us to another place. Your poem is so descriptive and well written. Great job.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the poem. I wanted to contrast reality with dreaming here, to speak of escape and coming down to the Earth from that escape. The question I am really asking is: what is it that gets us dreaming? Where is that taking us? estory

Comment from Jesse James Doty

Excellent

I don't dream of the things you mention in your poem. I dream of a world where we all get along and love and peace rule the day. Those are the intangible dreams I think of when I return to the good old days.
Thanks for trying to represent us as if we were all made up of baseballs and puppy dog tails.
Jesse

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024

Thanks for your excellent review; I think the dreams of home runs and travel to exotic places, making a mint in monopoly money, are really only metaphors for all our dreams. It isn't really the dreams themselves that matter; it is why we dream, what we are trying to accomplish by dreaming. The reality of the desert, the real world, is what we come back to. The dreaming is our attempt to imagine what things might be like. estory

reply by Jesse James Doty on 11-Jul-2024

This is so true, my friend.
Jesse

Comment from June Sargent

Excellent

This is a beautiful free verse highlighting the importance of having dreams. From stickball to St Tropez, we need our fantasies to maintain balance in a world of realities that can be challenging. I enjoyed your mirages.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the poem. I was really trying to get at the difference between dreams and reality, the fact that our dreams can take us away to St. Tropez for a little while, but in the end, we end up in the desert outside Samarkand. estory

Comment from Monica Chaddick

Excellent

This was a well written poem. It flowed great and made for a fine read. The last stanza wasn't bold, as was the rest of the poem, but I have had the same issue so I'm not faulting you for that, just pointing it out.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024

Thanks for the excellent review, I had some kind of trouble when the font changed on me at the end, I don't know why. This site has some technical issues they should fix. estory

Comment from gansach

Excellent

Firstly, welcome back to the site and best wishes. I like your poem very much, it awakens a feeling of nostalgia. A couple notes: Spelling: last line passed should be past. I'm sure it's an oversight, but stanza eight would match better in bold as all the others are. I enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing. Nicely done.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024

Thanks for the good review, I think there was some kind of glitch in posting the last stanza. I don't know why it ended up out of bold face. The last two stanzas reflect the same idea, but the Alice in Wonderland image is more of childhood and the silk road image is a more adult image. That's why they are in that order. estory

reply by gansach on 08-Jul-2024

Okay thanks for letting me know. I don't usually make suggestions about how others' poems are written since they certainly have reasons for presenting them as they do (as do I), but sometimes someone makes a suggestion that actually helps. I understand yours now. I'll revise my review to reflect that. Best Wishes!

Comment from teafor2

Excellent

You have about covered all the bases, especially the juicy ones...And, yes,
reality is the present, the right or wrong now! You address or hint at most
people dreams: mirages in the distance...Those wishing and hoping plans
always seem to be better than making the best out what is available... Thanks for capturing our human frailty in your intriging poem.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024

Thanks for the excellent review and your words of support for the poem. Human frailty; that's it in a nutshell. estory

reply by teafor2 on 08-Jul-2024

You are welcome.

Comment from Rachelle Allen

Excellent

Interesting questions posed in your Author's Notes that relate to the ever-changing dreams mentioned in your poem. I think the dreams of adulthood are just extensions of what we did as children. And even if we're happy with our lives, there's no harm in imagining "more." It's when you're imagining more because you're not satisfied with what you have that it becomes problematic.

Estory, did you intentionally have that last paragraph not in the same bold font? It's visually unusual, so I was curious about it.

Nicely done post. xoxo

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the poem. There was a glitch in posting that last stanza; I don't know why it didn't post in bold face. That's technology. it's great when it works, but when it doesn't, it sucks. estory

reply by Rachelle Allen on 08-Jul-2024

I fight with this font system constantly. It's most frustrating!!

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

"If you can dream and not make dreams your master" (Rudyard Kipling). I love your dream-like sequence of dreams. They're so comforting and charming as they evolve through the ages. I imagine you deliberately wanted the French spelling for 'grande' and your mention of Villefranche took me back to where I stayed for a while in my early 20s. So I'm very happy reading this and I vote for dreams to stay and even be our master at times! Well done! Debbie

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the piece. There is something in the human soul that needs to dream, to have a mechanism for reaching for things we can't reach in the physical world in which we find ourselves. estory